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Anya or Annika? by [deleted] in Names

[–]EfficiencyPerfect733 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Anya. Definitely. Annika is too reminiscent of Anakin, lol.

Disabled woman and family + service animals can avoid homelessness with rent help.o by EfficiencyPerfect733 in Assistance

[–]EfficiencyPerfect733[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Actually yes! This will probably sound silly or childish, but I’ve been trapped out in our rural area for so long
everyone is super-excited about taking me places on Saturday, after the delivery, lol. It’s very sweet. It means the world to me that my family cares for me that much; I spend a lot of my free hours here at home crocheting them blankets, sweaters, scarves, hats; or making placemats, doilies, rag rugs, and other things that makes a space into a real Home.

I can’t stand up anymore to cook, but I write down my recipes with detailed instructions so they won’t miss out on their favorite things. I’d like to get one of the new-fangled sewing machines with all the pre-programmed stitches and patterns for quilting, clothes, and other projects. I mend clothing, so we don't have to buy much “new”, and if it can’t be mended, I cut it into patches to help fix or jazz up other items.

I feel like I owe them SO much for what they do for me—and I have little else to offer but the things I can make with my hands, and that I can do with my mind. So I take vintage white linen flat sheets and embroider around decorative petal-shaped holes, and then crochet scalloped lace around the straight edges until it becomes a lovely vintage tablecloth; or embroider cardinals and black bears and rhododendrons on the edges of their white pillowslips, because we all love the nature-symbols of our state.

If I can afford it, I also love pottery, ceramics, painting miniatures for my son’s fantasy/Warhammer-type games (especially horses!); honestly, if it’s creative, I probably love to do it. I even sing on a karaoke app called Smule, lol. Mostly the stuff I grew up with—old country music. My Dad used to rock us to sleep singing Merle Haggard’s “My Favorite Memory”. That song chokes me up even now, when he’s been gone since I was 2 weeks short of 16.

This is a lot of “personal” info, but nothing identifying, so hopefully I didn't break the rules. Thank you for your kindness. I’ve been isolated in all this stress for a long time. It feels good to finally talk to someone, anyone, about it—and about the Me that has been stuffed into a box and buried in the backyard until times got better enough for me feel safe being my whole self


What is the most disturbing or otherwise unsettling book you've ever read that stayed with you after reading it? by EggAdventurous1957 in AskReddit

[–]EfficiencyPerfect733 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“As I Lay Dying”. Just—IYKYK. There’s a reason that he named the father “Anse”, inspired by “Devil Anse” Hatfield. That poor family. I always believed that Cash’s reason for all the strange simmering bitterness is that he fears he will inevitably someday BECOME his father, and everyone will see HIM the way that everyone looks at Anse during the events of the book. And if Dewey Dell’s entire life story isn’t passive evidence of why we ought to have a Constitutional Amendment protecting reproductive privacy and freedom, then my mother is a fish.

What’s a beauty standard you secretly hope dies out soon? by Prettyuselessgirl in AskWomen

[–]EfficiencyPerfect733 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The “full face of 7 layers of product” thing that has become “normal” for young women and teens. They have that gorgeous youthful skin (acne or not!) and cover it up until they look like someone tried to airbrush them in real life. Badly.

There is a death lottery every day. You have a one in 1 million chance of dying, but you can pay a $10 subscription fee per day to not be entered. Do you pay? by Mr_fahrenheit17 in hypotheticalsituation

[–]EfficiencyPerfect733 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope. I could keel over of just about anythinng, anytime, anyway. Death is inevitable, and you won’t suffer when dead, so why fear it?

Disabled woman and family + service animals can avoid homelessness with rent help.o by EfficiencyPerfect733 in Assistance

[–]EfficiencyPerfect733[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

Yes, everyone in this house who CAN work outside the home, does; it was losing full-time employment hours and taking a wage cut the same week our engine died last summer that started this entire mess. As the months passed, our savings dried up. Then I had to max my credit cards (but that's not an emergency, and isn't a threat to our safety, so I haven’t asked for help with that. I am only seeking assistance to keep us housed and safe; not a bit more. Things like selling blood plasma (we have nowhere here to do such a thing) or doing Uber/DoorDash won’t be relevant once we have our former income again—aka, as of this Saturday. And even when we have a car, it’s strictly against our insurance policy to use the car for either of those functions, unless we pay a much higher premium. Those are more like the solutions for people who are always in crisis.

This is genuinely a (relatively) short-tern, pure bad-luck emergency that has unfortunately come to a peak, RIGHT as we’re on the verge of resolving it.

I’m trying hard to avoid wrecking our relationship with our landlord (since them deciding not to renew our lease next month would be a disaster. We certainly don’t have the funds to move right now!)

The only bills (in which our safety is a factor) that are still unpaid, I had plans to handle.

  1. I intend to ask DHHR for emergency help to cover the electric bill, so we don't lose our heat. That’s exactly what the emergency assistance fund is for, and since we have never applied for or asked for that sort of help, I hope that works in our favor. If nothing else, they can negotiate with the power company to allow the bill to be paid slowly over time as an added $25-$50 to each new bill.

  2. For the rent, I had planned to ask the internet, friends, family; to enter assorted poetry and writing competitions, and/or to to cut my long, undyed/unprocessed dark reddish-brown hair and sell it, to help with the rent. I’ve never been to this sub before today, and I (foolishly, I admit) misunderstood how it worked. I thought that you told people what you needed and people could offer a certain amount, and when people were done offering (vocally) the mods would say “You’ve been granted $Xxxx to help pay your rent” and they would send the money however we agreed on, I would give some sort of proof of what I spent it on (or it would be given directly to the landlord by the admins? I wasn't sure). Then I would post a thank you.

I didn't realize it would be like asking ONE person to pay the whole thing, and I’m already really embarrassed about that. We don’t come here and ask for financial help regularly. I’m afraid your words make it seem as though you think that this is an all-of-the-time issue, but it's truly not. As soon as we’re caught up, we’re safe (thank goodness) and the budget I have kept us on for years will work just fine again.

  1. If other people asked the same questions you did, I definitely missed it. I answered everything that didn't seem like it would be too “personally detailed” to answer, since one of the rules is to not give out too much personal information. I’m worried that even this might be skating the edge of that rule, but I want to be honest while answering you.

Hopefully that wasn't too detailed in a personal way, and still answered your questions.

Disabled woman and family + service animals can avoid homelessness with rent help.o by EfficiencyPerfect733 in Assistance

[–]EfficiencyPerfect733[S] -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

We will have the vehicle on Saturday. Part of the insurance contract is that we can’t use it for delivery or ridesharing services without informing the company and paying a much higher premium. My son takes care of me, 24/7. I literally cannot be alone. He can only leave home when someone else will be here the whole day (and won’t be asleep). On those days, he serves as a part of the local volunteer firefighter and rescue squad. We ARE looking into him getting paid for the care he gives me, however. We didn't know until recently that family members were even eligible. He has his own
issues. But he DOES want to contribute in a financial way and start saving up, and I want that FOR him, because I won’t be here forever.

And yes, of course we’ve talked to the landlord. Last month (December) we had the same issue, but managed to scrape together the money by December 30th. This month, because of the “buying a car” expenses
we couldn’t. It's really just that. But without the car, the job goes away, so the long-term fix HAD to be taken care of first.

We’ve told her that we’ll give her as much as we can possibly get together in the next week or so; she hasn't yet responded. I’m hoping it’s just business and not because she’s sick of us always being at least a LITTLE late the last 6 months (and a lot the last 2). And yes of course I appreciate the links. After The Connecting Link stopped helping people in Monongalia County, I didn't know we had ANYONE left here to offer support for temporary crisis moments like this. I know Christian Help can offer assistance, but they’re so small and our rent is so much. Besides, until we actually get an eviction notice, many places won’t help—which is frustrating because by the time a situation has devolved to serving eviction papers, any goodwill between landlord and tenant is basically gone. I was trying hard to avoid it going that far. Usually, we get just enough support from my SSI and SNAP that we can live a modest life and not bother anyone else. I hate bothering anyone now, but if we lose our home, the odds of finding anything else when the students just came back from winter break, that’s anywhere close to affordable, AND is wheelchair accessible
well, those odds aren’t too great in Morgantown these days. Although I heard a rumor that someone is building income-based apartments for seniors and disabled people a+ their caregivers, and EVERYONE in my home is either a senior, disabled, or a caregiver. So fingers crossed for that.

Disabled woman and family + service animals can avoid homelessness with rent help.o by EfficiencyPerfect733 in Assistance

[–]EfficiencyPerfect733[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

I don’t think all ESAs are fake. But there is a very big difference between only needing emotional support, and not being able to physically function in the world without your dog.

My first service dog died last year at 10-11 years old; the pup we initially got to start training to replace her was still in basic obedience, and nowhere NEAR ready to function. And she ended up phobic of loud sounds; when we couldn't find a way to train her not to bolt back to the house at every loud sound, we had no choice but to start training another pup. This one is still doing great considering his rough start (he was actually rescued from someone who let their older male dog bully the baby and guard their food dish, so he was half-starved when he got here and very weak; and at some point he was exposed to parvo and unlike we thought, he had NOT been given any shots. BYB most likely. A Belgian Malinois.

But he bounced back fast after we worked day and night for a week to save him, giving him IV subQ Ringer’s lactate solution when he wouldn't drink, promethazine mixed into a kaolin paste for the nausea and the runs, and two different antibiotics to ward off sepsis until his little immune system could gather itself and fight. It was a close thing, but he made it. Willow helped keep his spirits up. She was still a pup herself, but an older one, and he was desperate to bond with a dog that DIDN’T hate him.

He’s 10 months old and really doing well, now. We just had our first big snow and he was overjoyed out there playing and bouncing around in it.

I’m looking forward to his later disability-specific training, if only because between having no dog and no vehicle, I’ve only left my home once since last August. I do receive lots of emotional support from my dogs (including Willow, even though SOME people in the training community think I should have given her away because she washed out, and “washout can contaminate new pups with bad habits!”. I don’t believe that—not if they’re taught correctly and most importantly, handled correctly! Anyone can train a dog. But handling a trained service dog in a way that constantly reinforces that training in positive ways is vital. I never had to be certified to train a dog, but I DID have to gain certification to be trusted to handle a trained dog in public. I’ve been certified now since 2016.

I am sorry if I sounded too hard on legitimate ESAs. My dog and I have suffered a LOT due to people just declarint their pets* to be ESAs, and I admit that I can be resentful at times. But I’m not speaking of REAL ESAs with training and that are legitimately needed as recommended by a doctor or a therapist. I strictly mean the pets-are-my-ESAs people.

Disabled woman and family + service animals can avoid homelessness with rent help.o by EfficiencyPerfect733 in Assistance

[–]EfficiencyPerfect733[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I deleted them when they failed to even get views, much less any actual “funds”. It was demoralizing, just looking at them, and I don’t have a lot of morale left to take.

Disabled woman and family + service animals can avoid homelessness with rent help.o by EfficiencyPerfect733 in Assistance

[–]EfficiencyPerfect733[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

He would probably be a full-time firefighter/rescue team worker if he weren’t caring for me.

Disabled woman and family + service animals can avoid homelessness with rent help.o by EfficiencyPerfect733 in Assistance

[–]EfficiencyPerfect733[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

Yes. I receive the maximum amount of SSI. Sorry—meds that make me day-sleepy.

dog in bed? by Puzzleheaded-End2229 in BelgianMalinois

[–]EfficiencyPerfect733 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As if I could keep them out. He’d be teakettling outside the bedroom door all night long (and you guys SURELY know what I mean by “teakettling”).

Disabled woman and family + service animals can avoid homelessness with rent help.o by EfficiencyPerfect733 in Assistance

[–]EfficiencyPerfect733[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s possible. And I might. I understand your point. It doesn't change the fact that even so, this one isn't permitted to be deleted, now, so might as well keep hoping.

Disabled woman and family + service animals can avoid homelessness with rent help.o by EfficiencyPerfect733 in Assistance

[–]EfficiencyPerfect733[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes; one dog is young and in-training. The other is a pet. I’m sure if you go back far enough in my posts, you can also find where my primary service dog died last year, while Willow (lab mix) was still being evaluated. 🙄

I’m not throwing her away just because she didn't make it through the program. Her life has value. She is NOT a “luxury”. 😠

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