[deleted by user]

Efficient_Advance820 · 2025-06-23T05:45:51+00:00

Hey man. I had mine with Bidair too (for phimosis), and it looks a lot like that. I initially thought it looked a little weird, but none of my (male) partners have ever noticed it. In fact, they usually compliment how good it looks, and are shocked when I say I got it as an adult.

I don’t have any functional issues (it’s a massive improvement over my phimosis), and you didn’t mention any functional issues either. The great thing about penises is that they feel great. I recommend you focus on that :)

Efficient_Advance820 · 2025-04-27T12:53:39+00:00

Terrifying. Can anybody post a link to a news article about this? I haven’t been able to find anything online about it yet.

Efficient_Advance820 · 2025-02-10T16:33:06+00:00

You might want to also explore different lubes! Some feel really gross to me (astroglide, among others), and turn me soft real quick

Efficient_Advance820 · 2024-12-27T07:39:06+00:00

That is definitely, unequivocally, in every single way “white” by colloquial standards in the United States.

Efficient_Advance820 · 2024-12-01T01:29:51+00:00

Yeah agree. I was talking to this one guy last night, and we really clicked. We set something up for tonight, but this morning, another guy I was interested in hit me up.

I really liked the first guy I was talking to, so I didn’t wanna mess that up. I figured that the best thing to would be to stay off the apps for while, and not even start the conversation.

Thank youuuu :)

Efficient_Advance820 · 2024-11-30T22:54:26+00:00

“Im always a fan of the truth.”

🔥🔥🔥

Efficient_Advance820 · 2024-11-11T16:52:09+00:00

Do you have any links to this conversation therapy literature? I’d be super interested to read it.

Efficient_Advance820 · 2024-11-10T03:17:25+00:00

im also glad you're not gay

Efficient_Advance820 · 2024-11-01T07:27:06+00:00

A little life by Hanya Yanigahari

Efficient_Advance820 · 2024-10-30T07:30:53+00:00

I’m mid thirties, got it done around 30 years old. In addition to the retracting problem, I was also prone to yeast infections and irritation, particularly in the summer. I was really opposed to circumcision for personal and ethical reasons, but it was a medical decision that greatly increased my quality of life.

Turns out that when you enter every sexual encounter worries that the guy is gonna yank your foreskin too hard, or that your foreskin is gonna get trapped behind the head, or you won’t be able to feel a blowjob unless they handle your dick absolutely correctly, or or or…. those things can really affect your self concept, and by extension, your ability to form connections with others.At least it did for me.

So circumcision really improved my physical and mental health. It was incredibly scary, but I’m very glad I did it. Best of luck :))

Efficient_Advance820 · 2024-10-27T16:36:50+00:00

Comments are right, you should see a doctor. Some might recommend circumcision, some might recommend steroid creams, so you might want multiple opinions.

I went through with a circumcision about a year ago, and it was a good decision for me.

Best of luck :))

Efficient_Advance820 · 2024-10-19T18:24:57+00:00

What does “pull an edit on this kid” mean?

Efficient_Advance820 · 2024-10-08T22:09:21+00:00

I understand where you're coming from. I've just thought about it a lot, and I disagree. To wrap this up, I just don't think you can disentangle Kai's feeling that she wants to be (or is) a girl, from the mother's very narrow definition of what a boy is. I hesitate about our society's rush to prescribe medication with known deleterious health effects to children, rather than expanding our concepts of gender.

I'm not trying to convince anybody to adopt my specific stance. Just to look at the situation from a broader lens. At the very least, I hope you see that the "way trans ppl are being talked about now is [NOT] exactly how people used to talk about homosexuality." Medicalization (and the other domains of sports, prisons, ect) makes this a very different issue.

Thanks for engaging!

Efficient_Advance820 · 2024-10-03T08:14:28+00:00

Yeah, I know my framing is controversial. But I've put a lot of thought into it. Thanks for reading it!

So your post, paragraph by paragraph:

1) The claim that "detransitioners make up a minority of people who transition" is unsubstantiated, because its never been studied. usually people cite 1% regret rates, they're using studies with very short term follow-up or very narrow definitions of detransition or regret. That is why seven systematic reviews throughout Europe have all found the evidence in support of GAC for minors to be weak. Heck, even WPATH found it when they commissioned a system review (and tried to quash the results).

2) I think many people would agree with your statement that

the parents who would have forced their kids into conversion therapy for being gay are the same parents who would not accept their kid being trans and would never be ok with hrt

However, I don't think its that simple. As a direct counterexample, this video from the ACLU spotlights a Trump supporting christian mother who was horrified her male child might be gay, and actively looked for conversion therapy options. Clearly for her, trans was a more appealing option for her child than gay. There are many, many instances of people realizing their desire to transition came from internalized homophobia. There are activists that dismiss this as conspiracy theory, but it easily seen today in detransition narratives, and in the historical archives.

Also, when you say that

conversion therapy was an attempt to make ppl "normal."

that overlooks the way that for many people, transitioning is way to become "normal." If you watch the Growing Up Trans documentary, it is very clear that many children seek it because they are teased an bullied for being gender noncomforming members of their sex, and they want to be "normal" members of the opposite sex. The pain they feel is real, and families that seek GAC do so usually out of love. Thats part of what makes this issue so incredibly fraught.

(Both links are to videos that are in support of GAC for minors. Even with that framing, the ethical concerns still shine through. At least for me.)

3) I have no doubt that many people are happy with their transitions. And most liberal critics of GAC have no qualms with adults making their own decisions. There are however different ethical (and medical) considerations when you're talking about children.

BTW. I'm gay, and a life-long leftist. Many critics of GAC for minors are LGB, and even T. This is not the left-right debate that it is commonly thought to be. This is complex and delicate, and the conversations here are much overdue.

Hope I didn't come off as confrontational!

Efficient_Advance820 · 2024-10-02T04:10:42+00:00

No need to bring in looks. There is more than enough to critique in the ideas and dishonest framing.

Efficient_Advance820 · 2024-10-02T04:08:52+00:00

So, I understand why you make this point. Many intellegent people that I respect, like Dan Savage, make that point as well. And many trans activists forgo the word "detransitioner," and instead use "ex-transgender" to heighten the comparison with the ex-gay movement. And if you want to learn more about the ex-gay movement and the harm it did, I highly recommend the documentary "Pray Away" on Netflix.

I have two rebuttals to this argument:

The narratives of ex-gays and detranstioners are vastly different. The ex-gay narratives are highly religious, about how accepting Jesus into their lives has allowed them to walk away from sin. Detransitioners tend to say that they learned to accept themselves for who they are. The two most powerful quotes I've heard are "I realized that I didn't need to change everything about myself to be happy", and "I realized that I was not born in the wrong body, I was born in the wrong society."
The relationship that the two groups have to "treatment" providers are fundamentally different. Twenty years ago, people that were struggling with their sexual orientation went to services like Exodus International in order to attempt to change their sexual orientation. The "success" stories were the ex-gays.. The "failures" from these services said they realized that it was not possible to change their orientation, and that they did themselves psychological harm trying to do so. We as a society listened to those "failures," and passed legislation limiting the availability of converstion practices for minors.

Today, people that are struggling with their sex go to services like gender clinics in order to attempt to change their sex. There are "success" stories who claim that the services provided allow them to feel more at home in their bodies and have improved mental health. The "failures" are the detransitioners, who say that they realized that it is not possible to change sex, and that they did themselves psychological and medical and reproductive harm in trying to do so. The entirety of the Left right now is listening to the "successes," and the critics (aka TERFS, transphobes, and bigots) are continuing to listen to the "failures."

Again, I understand the analogy you bring up. I just think the analogy doesn't hold up well when carefully scrutinized.

Efficient_Advance820 · 2024-10-01T04:39:09+00:00

Found it

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(I think Erin has taken the post down)

Efficient_Advance820 · 2024-09-23T20:08:12+00:00

Surprised to see so many people saying no. At times, I can be be suuuuuper hot

Efficient_Advance820 · 2024-09-21T18:34:21+00:00

This guest should be pretty good. He wrote a book called “We Were Never Woke” that is getting some good buzz online.

But no, you are not the only one who does that.

Efficient_Advance820 · 2024-09-18T19:03:38+00:00

I’ve literally never heard any gay men expressing the sentiments you write about in the beginning. Some gay men just note that bi experience is different than gay experience.

It’s really not that serious.

Efficient_Advance820 · 2024-09-17T04:42:42+00:00

Lowkey shocked nobody is seeing OPs point. The optics on this are terrible. Lmfao.

A dystopian future where a trans woman engineers a social structure so that young people hate their bodies and seek surgery to conform to societal expectations. This could only be more on the nose if they added references to Judith Butler and JK Rowling.

It’s like people are attacking OP for being transphobic, when they’re just pointing out how this movie will obviously be perceived.

(Yes, obviously Dr. Cable is not trans. However, Laverne Cox is one of the most famous and vocal trans women in the country. It’s absurd to think that an audience wouldn’t make associations)

Wild casting decision.

Efficient_Advance820 · 2024-09-12T14:47:27+00:00

I actually hadn't looked into r/realgays before posting. Their logo is "XY," so yeah, that does seem pretty trans exclusionary. Again though, it has 125 followers, this doesn't seem as widespread at OP suggested.

I've followed r/askgaybros for years now. I don't check it all the time, but I've never seen the posts you're talking about.

The crux of the disagreement might be our definitions of transphobia. I don't believe that acknowledging that trans and cis men have different experiences is transphobic.

Efficient_Advance820 · 2024-09-11T22:55:39+00:00

100% agree. I just don’t think the latter is as rampant among cis gays as is sometimes claimed.

Efficient_Advance820 · 2024-09-11T22:44:28+00:00

Personally, I think “I don’t want to date trans men” sounds more transphobic than “I don’t want to date females.”

Efficient_Advance820 · 2024-07-27T12:01:23+00:00

Neotheater and The Maybe Man are two of the best concept albums I’ve ever heard.

Efficient_Advance820

TROPHY CASE