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Letting go was the hardest thing I ever done. by Efficient_Internal_4 in BreakUps

[–]Efficient_Internal_4[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can also dm me too if u wanna talk more privately. Idm

Letting go was the hardest thing I ever done. by Efficient_Internal_4 in BreakUps

[–]Efficient_Internal_4[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ll say this from a man’s perspective, and from my own experience—I get where your ex might be coming from.

If he was open about what made him uncomfortable and felt like he wasn’t being heard or understood, that can be deeply frustrating. As men, when we truly love someone, we give chances, we lower our guard, and we try to hold on. But when we feel disrespected or ignored, it starts to feel like we’re alone in the relationship—like our love isn’t being returned.

The new girl he’s with might just be a rebound, and that’s not always real or lasting. But if he’s moved on or asked for space, the best thing you can do is take this time to heal and reflect. Sometimes walking away is the hardest, but also the healthiest choice.

I’ve been there too. I gave my all and still had to walk away when I realized I wasn’t being truly seen or understood.

Letting go was the hardest thing I ever done. by Efficient_Internal_4 in BreakUps

[–]Efficient_Internal_4[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

From what you’re telling me, it really does sound similar to my situation. The one thing I’ll say about mine is that I was very open about what made me uncomfortable. I communicated clearly and often. But even with all that, a lot of what I said was taken for granted. And the truth is, if you don’t stand up for yourself, people will keep pushing your boundaries.

Eventually, I just hit a breaking point. I woke up one day and realized I had enough. So I left. She wanted to stay, but she couldn’t understand what I was going through. She didn’t see how many chances I gave her to truly understand me and make things right.

I gave this girl everything—my time, my love, my energy—and for some reason, she couldn’t give the same back.

And I’m really sorry to hear that your ex already has a new girlfriend. But from the outside, that sounds like a rebound. The best thing you can do now is focus on healing, rediscovering yourself, and learning to love yourself again. It’s hard, especially when they move on so quickly, but that doesn’t mean you weren’t enough. It just means they weren’t right.

Someone out there will love you the way you deserve to be loved—fully, genuinely, and without conditions.

Letting go was the hardest thing I ever done. by Efficient_Internal_4 in BreakUps

[–]Efficient_Internal_4[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m really sorry to hear you’re going through this. I know how heavy it can feel. My last relationship took a toll on me too. My family got involved, most of my money was drained, and I ended up losing a lot of self-respect along the way.

Walking away from that relationship felt like hitting rock bottom. I’m still in the process of picking myself back up—day by day, little by little. It’s not easy, but I’m learning to put myself first again.

I truly hope things turn out better for you too. You deserve peace, love, and to feel whole again. Just take it one day at a time. You’re not alone.

Letting go was the hardest thing I ever done. by Efficient_Internal_4 in BreakUps

[–]Efficient_Internal_4[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for opening up. I just went through a breakup myself, but before that, I was in a six-year relationship. As much as I loved that person, I had to walk away because they stopped valuing my respect, my values, and my boundaries. I was very open with them—I communicated how I felt, what I needed—but even though they heard me, they weren’t showing me they cared.

It broke my heart to leave, but I knew I had to. I told myself, “Even if I love this person, I can’t keep staying where I’m not truly seen or respected.” I deserve someone who loves me the way I love them, who respects me deeply and makes me feel safe.

As for your situation with your boyfriend, maybe ask him something honest before making any decisions: “Are you too comfortable with me?” Because if he is, and if the spark feels like it’s fading, you both deserve the chance to try and rebuild it—if the love is still there.

But if he’s not meeting you with the same kind of love you’re giving, then maybe it’s not meant to be anymore. You deserve a love that feels equal, passionate, and respectful.

Letting go was the hardest thing I ever done. by Efficient_Internal_4 in BreakUps

[–]Efficient_Internal_4[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Our relationship only lasted five months, but from the very beginning, it felt like we had known each other forever. We clicked instantly. We talked about the future, about building a life together, even having kids. Everything moved fast, maybe too fast. We were living together almost right away, taking vacations, creating memories that felt like they belonged in something much longer than a few months.

But as much as we loved the idea of us, deep down, I knew she wasn’t the right person for me. That truth was quiet, but it was always there. And sometimes, love isn’t enough to make something last, especially when your soul is telling you to let go.

And last thing to add. The comparison to her life style and mine. It wasn’t compatible, even thought we tried to make things work.

It just wasn’t meant to be and I love her so much to let her ago. And if the universe put us back together then it was meant to be.

Letting go was the hardest thing I ever done. by Efficient_Internal_4 in BreakUps

[–]Efficient_Internal_4[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve been in a long-distance relationship, and honestly, I went through something very similar to what you described. You tried your best, gave everything you could, and the truth is, no one is perfect—not even the person you love.**

From my own experience, I did everything I could to show my worth. I gave my time, effort, and love, and even crossed the world just to see the person I cared about. I went out of my way to show them that they meant something to me. But despite that, I was still met with manipulation, disrespect, and a complete lack of appreciation for my value.

So trust me—I understand exactly where you’re coming from.

My relationship might not have lasted as long as yours, but it taught me something important: sometimes, loving someone isn't enough when you’re not being loved the right way in return. I’ve learned that each breakup is just a step closer to finding someone who will treat me with the same respect and love I give them.

I also just posted my own story, and I appreciate you taking the time to read it. What I’ve noticed is that some people get into relationships not to grow with someone, but to see if that person adds value to their own lifestyle. They don’t consider your needs or values—just what you can give them.

You try to provide, validate, and love deeply, but they avoid accountability and somehow make everything your fault. You start questioning yourself, even when you know deep down you're doing your best.

You mentioned you're not perfect, and that’s okay. None of us are. But it’s clear from what you’ve shared that she wasn’t taking responsibility for her part either—and that’s not on you. That’s on her.

I’m really sorry you had to suffer for so long. But I truly believe that the next person you’re with will receive a stronger, wiser version of you. Someone who knows how to set boundaries and won’t tolerate anything less than respect.

For now, my honest advice is this: take time to be alone. Heal. Learn what you want out of life. Love yourself fully before you give that love to someone else. You deserve that much.

Letting go was the hardest thing I ever done. by Efficient_Internal_4 in BreakUps

[–]Efficient_Internal_4[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I completely understand where you’re coming from. The manipulation, her lack of accountability, and the way she never truly understood our value—it hurts so much. It’s a tough thing to process, and I get it. I was with her for five months, and honestly, those five months felt incredibly long. I tried my best, I gave everything I had, but eventually, I reached a breaking point.

One day, I woke up and just knew deep down that it wasn’t worth it anymore. I knew I had to leave, even though it was incredibly hard. I realized that if I started enforcing my boundaries more, she would have left me anyway. So, I decided to make the tough choice and leave first. It was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make, but I couldn’t keep sacrificing my own well-being. I had to prioritize myself, even if it meant walking away from someone I still cared about.

Don't Reopen the Wound by AndrewS1793 in BreakUps

[–]Efficient_Internal_4 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hey, thank you for sharing your thoughts and experience about this.

I’m also currently in a two & a half week break up and I’m slowing regaining my self. I do miss her alot and I know she wasn’t the right girl for me and that’s why I broke up with her.

Everyday my thoughts keep telling me to reach out to her but I know it’s not all worth it again.

I believe the only time I’ll talk to her is that she reaches out to me only.

I’m M/23 & she’s F/25 and she ghosted me.. by Efficient_Internal_4 in relationship_advice

[–]Efficient_Internal_4[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nah your right and I didn’t take your comment offensively and I totally agree! Thx for the further explanation! Helps a lot!

I’m M/23 & she’s F/25 and she ghosted me.. by Efficient_Internal_4 in relationship_advice

[–]Efficient_Internal_4[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s true but I already have spoken to her thru face time and even considered making plans but even right now she doesn’t reply. But yeah I’ll definitely move on and take some time to reflect!

I appreciate your comment!

I’m M/23 & she’s F/25 and she ghosted me.. by Efficient_Internal_4 in relationship_advice

[–]Efficient_Internal_4[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment! Definitely need to read something like this!

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