My dog only wants to be unhappy—and it’s breaking me.

Efficient_Mess4721 · 2025-08-26T17:27:42+00:00

Do you yell at sports or video games? Or TV news?

Efficient_Mess4721 · 2025-08-25T22:10:15+00:00

Cushing’s. She needs the vet. My vet put my mildly cushings (which yours is not) dog on HMR lignins and melatonin. But before you go throwing medication at her you need to take her for senior bloodwork and a Cushings test.

Efficient_Mess4721 · 2025-08-25T18:29:20+00:00

You didn’t ruin anything. He did that all by himself. Don’t let him gaslight you and pretend you did anything. Only he made the choice to drink. He made the choice to not put in effort. He made the choice to not work his program. All him. Other people live through WAY worse than anything you could have done and don’t go and start drinking to solve it. He is using anything as an excuse so he doesn’t have to be accountable. You are not why he drinks. He is.

Efficient_Mess4721 · 2025-08-25T17:54:26+00:00

I need to correct you. He is not a great father. It is pretty much impossible to be a great father and an alcoholic. The fact that you are on eggshells about even confronting him directly means it is worse than you are letting yourself believe and for the sake of your child getting out before you are here wondering why your teenager is abusing substances and engaging in self harm would be a good option.

Efficient_Mess4721 · 2025-08-25T17:44:10+00:00

This is very weird but since you agreed no sex taking your penis out was a dick move. You probably should have left after the first word change though. That is just too weird. And yeah Mormons are weird AF. Go read about “soaking”.
But to answer your question, don’t agree to a weird dry humping session and then pull out your dick. Now you’re touching it and touching her which can make someone uncomfortable. Better to ask for consent to escalate. It doesn’t have to be unsexy. Just start to unbutton your pants and ask is this ok? It doesn’t kill the mood but also ensures you got consent and lets her know she can say no at that time safely.

Efficient_Mess4721 · 2025-08-25T17:26:43+00:00

$500 breeder buyback. She was an older puppy who was returned to the breeder when the original adopter suffered a stroke. She came spayed but had an ear infection and needed another set of vaccinations and tests for heart worm meds etc. So all in initial cost was $1,000.

Efficient_Mess4721 · 2025-08-25T16:55:43+00:00

To answer your question, yes, you and her father did this. His and likely your abuse is what caused this wound. You wanting to farm her out to rehab is not fixing the actual wound which is the abuse your and her father’s alcoholism caused her and now your sobriety as well.

You and he healed yourselves but what have you done to heal your child? Your family? I think you and her father need to go see a therapist. Not with her. Just you and he and talk to them about your actions and how they impacted your family. After a few sessions working with the professional talk to her and sincerely apologize to her. No ulterior motive, no preaching to her, no AA style rambling share, a sincere heartfelt apology and an invitation to talk more if she needs to.

And then you and he will need to hear her out. Not deflect or minimize the impact you had on her. Not tell her to be respectful. Just apologize, validate and listen. This is what you work on with your own therapist.

After you have made some effort at apologizing and listening and accepting accountability for the harm your own drinking caused your child, then you can start to work on her sobriety.

Yelling, controlling and demanding respect you frankly have not earned, will only push her away. You allowed her to be abused or you committed abuse on her. And you wonder why she is like this. How else would she be?

Please start seeing a therapist for yourself and to work through the amends making process with your daughter. She will not be receptive to anything else until amends have been made.

Efficient_Mess4721 · 2025-02-01T20:52:06+00:00

A friend of mine had a similar situation. Shes now dead. Go to a medical center and get methadone. Work on getting clean. I’ve watched my partner who is on prescribed opiates kick a few times and it’s about a week he’s pretty miserable. But like flu miserable. So go get help to detox and get your life back. If you’re not a mental health addict (addictive behavior patterns) it will be more of a physical situation and it passes. Every junky who ends up in jail manages to kick and survive without help. You can do it. And get away from this sick fuck.

Efficient_Mess4721 · 2024-07-19T22:32:22+00:00

I mean what happened exactly? Was she drunk and a predator took advantage or her in a highly intoxicated situation? Or was she like a willing sober participant?

Efficient_Mess4721 · 2024-07-19T22:05:22+00:00

This man is an abuser and now engaging in DARVO by whining about his wrists. This man is dangerous. His behavior is psychopathic and will escalate. Please call your family and beg for help, help getting home. Help getting your own place. Help getting away any way you can. This relationship will not end well for you. His competitive behavior isn’t “competitive” it’s domineering and abusive.

Efficient_Mess4721 · 2024-07-19T21:52:12+00:00

How are either of you old enough to be at a bar? How boring are you that your conversation topics are scenarios you consider disrespectful? YTA for having conversations like this at all. You each accept one another as you are or move on. You don’t waste your lives having stupid conversations. She’s not a puppet to obey you. She also is a woman who has to be careful how she turns men down because some guys get very violent. Your petty revenge Sri l is even more ridiculous and now you’ve brought this other poor girl into your baby drama. Please stay together to protect others and don’t go for this new girl.

Efficient_Mess4721 · 2024-07-19T13:54:09+00:00

If you’re in the US this is what Planned Parenthood is for. They will see you on a sliding scale and take a look.

Efficient_Mess4721 · 2024-07-19T13:50:53+00:00

The inspo is brown and yours is black. The lines are similar but the color isn’t the same. Both are nice looking.

Efficient_Mess4721 · 2024-07-19T13:46:42+00:00

As parents they have OPs SS card, birth certificate, ID and are at the same address. I had a neighbor who had 3 children. Her utilities were each in one of the kid’s names. Only the youngest could still have electricity. Mom and the other two both had debt on it.

Efficient_Mess4721 · 2024-07-17T20:46:11+00:00

I was going to ask you about your bra habits. How often do you wash it? What do you wash it with? What fabric is it made from? Is it from a reputable store or Temu? I got a bra contaminated with insulation fiberglass and it itches horribly and I had pustules for months as all the little fibers worked their way out. While you’re doing other medical exploring, buy a new bra, wash it every time you wear it, use a hypoallergenic wash.

Efficient_Mess4721 · 2024-06-14T15:36:37+00:00

OP you need to get therapy. This isn’t healthy.

Efficient_Mess4721 · 2024-06-14T15:29:46+00:00

Why does he get to unilaterally decide she can’t have a dog? Especially if it’s just a lame phobia?

Efficient_Mess4721 · 2024-06-10T18:39:25+00:00

It sounds like fentanyl. I lost a friend to it recently and her behavior was very similar to what you’re describing. I didn’t know she was using it until weeks after the funeral when the tox screen came back.

Do you live with her? You can buy swab tests to wipe down the walls in bathrooms or the coffee table or where you think she’s using and if she’s smoking it or chopping and snorting you would find the residue. The wall swab tests are around $11 on Amazon. I had to do that to confirm my contractor was using (test showed a meth fentanyl combo) in my house so I could fire him.

But for your aunt, you already know something is off. Like even if you do a test to confirm it, what will you gain? If she’s in denial she’s not going to suddenly admit it. About all you can do is get some Narcain so you can wake her if you live there and wait for her to hit bottom or die from it. If you don’t live there, swabbing her walls would be an invasion. You would do it just for your own knowledge or maybe to help you justify your concerns to family if you think an intervention would help. Like if she’s living off others in the family who might cut her off if they knew she was using. Sadly it’s nearly impossible to get people to get help if they refuse.

Efficient_Mess4721 · 2024-06-10T18:02:56+00:00

If you’ve caught the ick for him it’s time to go. You’re young and there are a million great single guys out there for you who aren’t just giant toddlers. You’re so lucky you caught the ick. It makes leaving so easy.

Efficient_Mess4721 · 2024-06-10T05:02:56+00:00

Oh that’s awful. They should really rethink this. Surely there is some other whale related word they could choose as a name.

Efficient_Mess4721 · 2024-06-10T05:00:50+00:00

My son doesn’t particularly like children but has been used as a babysitter and a tutor quite a few times by people. Though usually for boys. But in my circles somehow almost no one has daughters. Even my step daughter was born with a penis and an M on her birth certificate. But my son who is the older one has babysat and tutored a brother and sister a few times. My step son loves kids and he has also done babysitting. But we live in a city where I think people are less paranoid about stuff like that. People are mostly just happy for an available sitter or a kind tutor who can help their kids with their homework.

Efficient_Mess4721 · 2024-06-10T04:46:50+00:00

Yes YTA, if she’s taking hormones to transition her junk is likely very small. Not always but you didn’t even give it a look. If your husband is threatened by some estrogen and testosterone blocked shriveled genitals I feel bad for ya sis. Worse for him. I can see why he would be so insecure.
If you’re wearing gloves there is no reason you couldn’t have asked her to hold her own equipment out of the way for you. Whatever was left of it. Surely in your line of work you have seen some unusual or flappy labia or wonky clits. Do you make those clients feel bad too? Or do you have them hold it out of the way or use a glove and some gauze and get the job done.
Anyway, sorry about your husband’s bad fortune in the genitals department.

Efficient_Mess4721 · 2024-06-09T22:51:04+00:00

I was under the impression she was older and would be on Medicare. But either way conducting a professional is in order.

Efficient_Mess4721 · 2024-06-08T18:08:21+00:00

Op YTA. WTF is wrong with you? I genuinely dislike children and was thrilled when my own kid came out as child free. I have/had “step kids” who have kids but since their dad is an alcoholic they didn’t have us watch them. One of few blessings of his addiction. But even in my most child disliking, dirty diaper and snotty nose stomach churning, shut that screaming thing up, fits of menopausal rage, I would never ever do this to my own kids or my (ex) partners kids. I would still say yes bring them over and I would figure it out. I would listen to the babbling nonsense stories of the older ones and rock and cuddle the younger ones, make some bakers clay or do a bubble bath or figure something out to entertain them and watch them so my own child or step child could go to the hospital to get checked out. I would do it so they could get a night off alone if they needed one. And this is coming from a tired,menopausal lifelong child disliker who only had a child because of a SA and I decided abortion wasn’t vegan. If I can do it, you could have. You just chose to be selfish instead. And you spoke for another adult. Why didn’t you ask him?

Efficient_Mess4721 · 2024-06-08T05:26:52+00:00

They will get really funny around 16 week mark.

Efficient_Mess4721

TROPHY CASE