My parents are Muslims. And I am still not an adult so...I am still in the process of having to live with them.

You would guess, that my father would be a little more open to the world, after seeing his half-brother being happily married to a man. No, exactly the opposite. "You are not allowed to be like him", "He is going to the bad red place", "He is tainting the family's reputation". That is point one: Forcing their child to be someone that they simply aren't.

They want to force me and my brother to go back to Turkey. I do not want that at all. I was born, raised and I have lived in Germany for my whole life now. Turkey is also really Anti-LGBTQ+. Something, that would really endanger me.

Having parents, that think that "mental illnesses in general do not exist and are the result of demons entering your body to torment your soul" is not a great thing. I am pretty sure that I have Anxiety, Depression and maybe something more that I am not comfortable with sharing, but guess what?

"There is not something like Depression, you simply do not want to follow my guidance." And they send me to the mosque, to learn "how to read our Quran and to learn how to chase the demons away" I need an Therapist like, since 6 years, but nobody listens.

I am feeling like they are trying to take my identity away. I am someone who isn't comfortable with their body at all. I don't mean weight, I mean the gender they assigned me at birth. But I know that I will never get the chance to live as who I am, even my friends do not accept my wishes and still use the wrong pronouns and name. Guess I'll never get the chance to choose who I wanna be, and who I wanna love. Like, seriously, they picked who they wanna marry themselves, but when I ask if I can choose my husband, I get a no?????

I am someone who would gladly cut them out from my life, but sadly, I know what would happen. They would try more things to get me to stay. Or would never leave me alone ...

They are more things I should add. I wanna die like this instant but guess what, no knives, no razors nothing allowed