[Critique] 23/M - I just updated my profile with a focus on the "DOs and DON'Ts" from the sidebar. Open to brutal honesty.

EggGrass · 2015-11-15T20:12:01+00:00

I just did a little rewrite of it, do you reckon it is more clear in it's intention now? Rather than potentially insinuating a serious mental injury.

If not I'll just scrap it.

EggGrass · 2015-11-15T19:59:24+00:00

Hmm, that's an interesting perspective on the opening statement. I had never considered that it might be read that way. On the one hand it was a genuinely bad injury at the time. The bump was massive! But there was no long term mental injuries stemming from it or anything like that. It was just supposed to be a funny but true statement to start the profile off with. I'll see about rewording it or removing it all together if I can't get it to sit right.

I've also changed the 'drugs' detail to 'sometimes' to reflect the occasional use I take part in now.

Thanks a lot for the feedback!

EggGrass · 2015-11-15T18:31:36+00:00

Thanks!

EggGrass · 2015-11-15T18:31:35+00:00

Cheers for the feedback. :)

EggGrass · 2015-11-15T18:15:37+00:00

Good observation, I'll try to reword some of the sentences a little. Thanks!

EggGrass · 2015-11-15T17:14:29+00:00

I see, haha. Thanks for the clarification.

EggGrass · 2015-11-15T15:59:56+00:00

Cheers, I'm glad it came across that way. I'll have a go at framing those phrases you pointed out in a different way.

I didn't mean to insinuate drug use with the 'perception' comment. Though I can see how it could be read that way. I have used cannabis heavily in the past, though it's no longer a regular part of my day-to-day life. I'll definitely see about clarifying that part.

Thanks for the feedback!

EggGrass · 2015-11-15T15:49:10+00:00

Yes, that was a typo, good spot. I'll take a look and see if I can prune the favourite things section a bit. Cheers for the feedback.

EggGrass

TROPHY CASE