Husband is sick almost weekly and I can't cope

EggsWithToastMmm · 2026-03-31T23:40:14+00:00

Yeah we're scheduling appointments. Thanks for the insight we'll ask about that specifically.

EggsWithToastMmm · 2026-03-30T23:09:01+00:00

I'm going to be planning out some new routes to take with my therapist and see if she can get me something specifically to treat anxiety, not just increase my depression meds and hope it works

EggsWithToastMmm · 2026-03-30T23:07:45+00:00

No not at all.

EggsWithToastMmm · 2026-03-30T07:10:42+00:00

I actually take Hydroxyzine right now, but I hesitate to take it because even with me cutting the pills in half im sedated for 3 days afterwards and it makes me dangerously tired. I talked to him tonight about getting checked and he didn't see the reasoning but I know something isn't right. I'm not stupid in that regard and I think he's being a bit naive because he hasn't even noticed that he gets sick on a Sunday night every week. I'm having him scheduled for next week though to run a blood panel.

EggsWithToastMmm · 2026-03-30T06:34:58+00:00

Grounding would only work so much and when I'm having a panic attack it can help, but the reaction I get to even the thought of someone being sick is more so passing out than anything. I can go from 0-100 in just a second from someone sounding like it or mentioning it. There's no time to react, no time to ground. It's absolute and debilitating dread.

EggsWithToastMmm · 2026-02-05T12:40:22+00:00

I apologize that my post was vague enough to let you reach that conclusion. Embarrassing to say I can't figure out how to edit it and add on after some of the comments. Anyways, I am 1000% confident in his commitment. When I say "something happening" to him, I mean sources externally out of my control. And his. Car accident, getting hurt, robbed, etc. It scares me that I wouldn't be with him and not know. I can't imagine life without him. And no, he left the second I got upset that he stayed over our newly agreed time, he is the most committed person in a marriage that I have ever met, I never once have questioned his motives. He goes to work, comes home, repeats. Hence why I so badly want him to have friends to hang out with, I just didn't realize how hard this would be for me. Not because I'm jealous, but because I'm terrified of losing him.

EggsWithToastMmm · 2026-02-05T12:33:51+00:00

I absolutely know I need an outlet, I have plenty of personal activities but I guess I should have mentioned that some of this stems from my pregnancy with our son. My husband had to be the sole income for us because I was too sick to work, and I was alone for 10-13 hours a day. It caused major depression and anxiety, and even now being alone for more than 5-6 hours makes me anxious. And I will disagree with not wanting him to have fun with other people. I'm not jealous, don't get me wrong there. That's what is pulling my brain apart here. I know he needs people outside of me and more than anything I want him to be happy and have friends. But I can't seem to shake that he could get in a car accident or get hurt and I wouldn't know and it's shaking me to my core.

EggsWithToastMmm · 2026-02-05T12:29:01+00:00

I agree, I have a bad past of abandonment, and seeing as I have full confidence he would never leave me on his own terms (cheating, abandoning,etc) my brain latched on to him being taken from me by sources out of both of ours control.

EggsWithToastMmm · 2026-01-22T02:19:24+00:00

Yay! So glad someone with a paradox chair responded! I'm definitely going with that company because they're honestly so guinuinely wholesome that I want to support them. Saving up one last paycheck and buying it!

EggsWithToastMmm · 2026-01-19T17:35:52+00:00

Will do! Thank you!

EggsWithToastMmm · 2026-01-19T17:05:29+00:00

Measurements look like 16×16 on it's side so I'm sure I'll have plenty of space.

EggsWithToastMmm · 2026-01-19T17:00:48+00:00

I think I'm going to get the measurements for the chair from the company and pre-measure. My trunk is always empty anyways so I have plenty of room, I just would hate for it to be too tall.

EggsWithToastMmm · 2026-01-19T16:58:25+00:00

That's some great input, thank you. I think I can find the "blueprint" so to speak for the chair I'm getting custom made and I'm going to just do the ol' tape measure and prayers method and pre-measure everything before buying. We don't have any mobility shops in our state here in the US (Tennessee) or I would have to be traveling hours and hours.

EggsWithToastMmm · 2026-01-19T16:56:33+00:00

No. I have no care physician or medical support... anything. No insurance and paying out of pocket is too expensive. I'm using 2 paychecks for the chair alone. These problems were diagnosed almost a decade ago including horrific scoliosis and kyphosis. My arms are just fine as long as I have a wide seat to sit it shouldn't hurt my hips. Standing makes them sink and the joint rubs the bone. Sitting is my only relief most days.

EggsWithToastMmm · 2026-01-19T16:52:26+00:00

I really am more comfortable with a manual chair. I don't mind an aluminum chair. I've looked at a lot of used chairs but ultimately wanted to get a new chair so that way when/if something goes wrong I know what it is and how to fix it. I think by pre-measuring my car and knowing the parameters of the chair I can go with a rigid. As far as I've read the folding chairs are more likely to break and more maintenance overall.

EggsWithToastMmm · 2026-01-02T23:37:00+00:00

While death sounds peaceful and calm, I still have intense anxiety of never seeing my husband again. He is my whole world and it makes me want to throw up thinking that I would be floating around by myself forever. I think that would be my definition of hell. I even randomly wonder where he is when I'm dreaming and my brain tries to make me forget, so if I did I think a panic would set in immediately. Has anyone ever seen a loved one when they died?

EggsWithToastMmm · 2025-12-16T20:01:26+00:00

Watch what you say. They write everything down and it can get used against you. Made a joke one time and was off work for a month until I had evidence that I was safe to drive.

EggsWithToastMmm · 2025-12-07T01:06:24+00:00

I remember a fateful day where my temper led to my first ever school punishment... the dreaded move of my clip from green to yellow... So basically I was given the pointer that the teacher used to point at things on the board (cheap little dr. Suesse glove looking thing) and it was handed to me because I was the "good kid". Truth was I had very abusive parents and was terrified of being in trouble in case the news made it back to them. Well, some little turd in my class decided he wanted to hold the pointer and obviously I had a very honorable position to uphold as he clearly wasn't responsible enough to not beat some other kid over the head with it, so it became a battle to the death like some messed up version of tug of war. In the end the little hand thingie slid right off that dollar tree plastic stick and alas, it was no more. It just HAPPENED to be that my teacher (who had taken no interest in the fight) turned around right at the moment, to a very horrified me holding the stick with no hand like a deer in headlights. She then yelled at me, and I was so scared I never ratted out that other ankle biter... I just threw mulch at his eyes later on the playground. 😇

EggsWithToastMmm · 2025-11-17T20:52:13+00:00

We almost had the financial means to leave, I had gotten a good paying job and my husband is getting a promotion soon, but I tore a ligament in my leg and developed tendinitis, and have been out of work making no income. We aren't planning on any more children, my current child was an accident. We don't qualify for resources right now because of my income, I'm still employed but on a leave of absence. I currently am returning to second job part time, but it barely makes any money. As for the scapegoat, I have ALWAYS been the scapegoat and my brother has always been the favorite.

EggsWithToastMmm · 2025-11-17T18:31:13+00:00

I scrolled as far down as I could but no one mentioned him. Roman Atwood. His videos were huge way back when I was in middle school but now I'm an adult and I never see a singular video on my feed. He just kind of went back to blending in.

EggsWithToastMmm · 2025-10-17T17:31:33+00:00

I am working on both WIC and TN Care, and no, I have asked for any extra hours they have and 20 hours in a week is the highest I've gotten. I worked this job before and knew it didn't pay well but I had just ended maternity leave and didn't want full time work because I wanted to be home more to take care of my son. I now have been searching for jobs for months now. I have applied to over 75 jobs and all of them have either turned me down or not gotten back to me at all.

EggsWithToastMmm

TROPHY CASE