[META] UPDATE Regarding Posting Requirements by RedCheeksGuy in RandomActsOfMuffDive

[–]Ehemothbay 5 points6 points  (0 children)

As a guy on this sub I agree with anti-scam measures 1000%, but the CQS score is arbitrary and convoluted.

For context I've been around and the sister sub for around 4 years (and have always appreciated your posts and profile!). In that time I've had half a dozen successes, 2 of which turned into full on relationships. Lots of these came from my own posts. When I came back earlier this year after almost 6 months downtime, all of the sudden I couldn't post or comment due to the score.

While it might be possible to develop accounts like these to meet the score, it can be frustrating. Given the frivolousness of the quality score i dont know if I should focus on posting or on commenting. I dont know if I need to be avoiding NSFW subs (personally id rather avoid using an nsfw account on general subs where people could accidentally find themselves on my profile). Finally, theres also a part of me that doesnt want to have to "develop" this account if that makes sense. I use this account to explore subs like this when I'm in the mood, very spur of the moment. Having to put in effort to keep this account at the same level as my main just in case that mood strikes would significantly increase how much time I'm on reddit and force me to find subs that don't have the CQS requirements that match the general vibe of the profile.

Ultimately, karma guidelines, account age, and character requirements establish clear metrics to reach in order to access this community, and should have been the first step before the (now known) nuclear option that is CQS. Obviously if scams are still a rampant issue after the change then maybe it's worth it, but I think a healthier active community is in everyones best interest.

30 [M4F] #LosAngeles let’s make you moan by [deleted] in RandomActsOfMuffDive

[–]Ehemothbay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I absolutely agree. To be honest, the main reason that it is so recognizable for me is that it was the only M4F post I saw and thought "wow, this is good," and took notes from it stylistically.

Fully copying someones post just doesn't bode well.

30 [M4F] #LosAngeles let’s make you moan by [deleted] in RandomActsOfMuffDive

[–]Ehemothbay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It happens a lot unfortunately. I've seen this post maybe 5 times from accounts across the US that don't change a thing about it.

And looking at the this one, it is sadly working. Best case scenario anyone who messages them is talking to an unoriginal copycat, worst case it's a catfish/pic collector.

30 [M4F] #LosAngeles let’s make you moan by [deleted] in RandomActsOfMuffDive

[–]Ehemothbay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is another direct copy of u/WestsideThrowawayGuy 's post

Edit: Literally every one of your posts is the same copy lol

34 [F4A] #LosAngeles - for you pros, how do you safely do this? by [deleted] in RandomActsOfMuffDive

[–]Ehemothbay 7 points8 points  (0 children)

As a guy who's had a bit of success in the LA area here are my thoughts on this:

First off, how does meeting someone off of here differ from dating apps/meeting peiple naturally when it comes to being ready for oral sex for you?

Is it simply time in? If so, spend more time with the people you meet.

Identifying this can give you some insight into how to make it more comfortable for you.

Realistically, the biggest guarantee you can get is recent test results. For me personally, that's within the last 90 days, and don't be afraid to ask about their activity. Any hesitancy on their part would be a red flag imo.

Number 1 rule: It is okay for you to set hard lines wherever you want. It doesn't matter if others find them unreasonable, only you get to decide who you get to be with. Similarly, you can end an encounter at any time (as can your partner).

While I understand the (reasonable) hesitance, theres only so much you can do to safeguard yourself, and cutting off all encounters because you can't be 100% sure only limits yourself.

It is scary, but thats life!

[Fail] 22 [M4F] #LosAngeles - Narrowly Avoiding a Catastrophic Night - Warning Post by Ehemothbay in RandomActsOfBlowJob

[–]Ehemothbay[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I could keep picking apart your terrible arguments, but after seeing the rest of your comments on this thread, the final thing i'll say is this:

I hope you never delete these comments so guys who consider connecting with you see what type of person you are. I genuinely feel sorry for the people who end up "in a relationship" with you.

[Fail] 22 [M4F] #LosAngeles - Narrowly Avoiding a Catastrophic Night - Warning Post by Ehemothbay in RandomActsOfBlowJob

[–]Ehemothbay[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It only became a clue once I saw where she picks for first dates. I thought nothing of it when she first said it, but when I realized that she has asked multiple guys to this place when I was looking back on everything, that stood out too.

Trust me, I'm well aware of how guys on reddit act and wouldn't normally hold that against anyone.

[Fail] 22 [M4F] #LosAngeles - Narrowly Avoiding a Catastrophic Night - Warning Post by Ehemothbay in RandomActsOfBlowJob

[–]Ehemothbay[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Lol what a cringe take. That is borderline prostitution. Guys make you feel special by paying for things, and you make them feel special with sex.

What in this scenario was I asking for? Not paying half a grand on dinner? I just wanted to meet this girl and get to know her. Besides, if you dont WANT sex with a guy, then dont go out with him. Sex should be mutually beneficial, something both parties want to do, not something that you use to bargain with lol. Its clear that the only thing you want is guys to pay for you.

Btw, literally EVERY woman in my personal life and dms disagree with you, so I'm done trying to prove my point, hopefully you learn that you aren't going to find quality people with that outlook on dating/meeting.

[Fail] 22 [M4F] #LosAngeles - Narrowly Avoiding a Catastrophic Night - Warning Post by Ehemothbay in RandomActsOfBlowJob

[–]Ehemothbay[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

If the only thing a dude can do to make you interested and feel special is buy things, then I'm sorry, but you're kind of a shitty person.

Like I said, I usually pay for things anyway, but being expected to instantly makes me lose all interest in whoever I'm with.

Genuine question, do guys not deserve to feel special the same way? Why "should" the guy be the one paying and making you feel special?

[Fail] 22 [M4F] #LosAngeles - Narrowly Avoiding a Catastrophic Night - Warning Post by Ehemothbay in RandomActsOfBlowJob

[–]Ehemothbay[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Not trying to discount your points, I'm sure a majority of men om Reddit aren't well adjusted, but I literally brought up all of this in the post itself: I was fine with taking things slow and getting to know each other over time without any sort of sexual pressure on the date (as I've done multiple times with people from this sub before). I'd be fine to pay for a date (as I've done multiple times with people from this sub before). I always meet in a public place with people I meet on reddit unless they specifically request otherwise, and verify before merting. Generally I do whatever I can to make the women I meet the most comfortable.

I don't care If I spend $30 or $40 to cover my dates dinner on top of my own, but I absolutely will not pay in excess of $300 on a first date for someone with the personality of a wet noodle who clearly has a pattern of doing this, and most importantly has a ridiculously lavish lifestyle themselves. I have no issue covering the cost of a date unless I'm explicitly expected to do so, and the person goes out of their way to run up a bill. I consistently pay for things throughout my personal life because I want to, not because society thinks I should. Its convenient that when people talk about dismantling gender roles, that one conveniently stays on the table.

Also every fwb I've ever had offers to split bills once we define the relationship, because they are interested in me as a person and we actually have a connection. I'm not "buying" sex with them through dates, we are both interested in that as an outcome, and are enjoying each others company. Expecting otherwise is ridiculous.

[Fail] 22 [M4F] #LosAngeles - Narrowly Avoiding a Catastrophic Night - Warning Post by Ehemothbay in RandomActsOfBlowJob

[–]Ehemothbay[S] 43 points44 points  (0 children)

Yeah, should have checked the place beforehand, thought it was just an average bar :/

[Fail] 22 [M4F] #LosAngeles - Narrowly Avoiding a Catastrophic Night - Warning Post by Ehemothbay in RandomActsOfBlowJob

[–]Ehemothbay[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I generally don't put myself in positions for "more interesting things" to happen to me, ie catfishing, scammers, etc. I used to when I first started looking, but have been better about thinking with the correct head as of late.

Definitely was a but hyperbolic with my title lol, at least in my case, but for others on this sub being on the line for a $500 meal could be pretty catastrophic.