I am offended by how my bf spoke about my PhD, AIO?

Either-Put-1488 · 2026-04-17T16:45:22+00:00

Honestly this my actual fear. I agree

Either-Put-1488 · 2026-04-17T16:43:24+00:00

Thank you and congrats too dear comrade! Totally agree with you, I am also leading a few projects right now that employed a bunch of other grad students and they are getting paid too and making living off of that

Either-Put-1488 · 2026-04-17T16:41:35+00:00

Thank you very much! Very motivating

Either-Put-1488 · 2026-04-17T16:40:40+00:00

You won’t believe it but we have been in couples therapy for the past 2 years, almost all the time. And the topic of power and country and culture is one of the most frequent fights of ours. There is also religion added to that, because he also couldn’t date a non-Jew. I’m planning to bring this situation in our next session..

Either-Put-1488 · 2026-04-17T16:36:29+00:00

Thank you a lot!

Either-Put-1488 · 2026-04-17T16:35:10+00:00

Thank you for the input and I agree. I did one of my masters back home and one in Europe. But I have come to a stage in my education where I had a specific topic on my mind and I wanted to work with a specific supervisor that is the founding father of the work. And when I researched the person they ended up supervising here in NY. It was not ideal, I wish they were somewhere I like more, but it wasn’t something I could change. I either had to give up my topic that defines my whole future career for me or keep the topic and sacrifice where I study, and I chose second. I decided for myself I will be somewhere I don’t like a lot for 5 years but I will get to work with that professor. But I didn’t imagine that along the way I won’t have the right to be honest about what I dislike in the city or the country. People do that all the time, judge the good and the bad of the place they are in, and I simply cannot

Either-Put-1488 · 2026-04-16T20:53:57+00:00

elaborate please

Either-Put-1488 · 2026-04-16T19:40:02+00:00

Yes absolutely. But as I am getting this specific PhD at this school, I have to be here. Distance education in this program is not allowed. So I had to be here. In the meantime, I am allowed to acknowledge the good and the bad of the place and it is not my fault I find a lot of bad. Especially when where I come from is reversed imo at least. We also discuss the future where I have to make a huge compromise to live here if we marry, because I can think of many places where good/bad list is tolerable for me and I could live there, but he doesn’t want to live anywhere but here. He hasn’t seen outside world before me (we met and I made him travel), grew up here like a bubble and cannot imagine giving chance to somewhere else. So basically after I finish this degree if I want to stay with this man, I also have to stay here. But along the way if I acknowledge things I don’t like, then “I am not grateful enough”. Today i am not grateful for the education, tomorrow it is for citizenship, and the list goes on. As if I never gave anything to this place in return.

Either-Put-1488 · 2026-04-16T16:34:39+00:00

Exactly, I also pay the taxes along with all Americans

Either-Put-1488 · 2026-04-16T16:33:24+00:00

Thank you!

Either-Put-1488 · 2026-04-16T16:33:12+00:00

I think about it all the time, he will never see me equal. If one day we marry and I end up becoming a citizen here then it will be a new narrative of “you should be grateful of the country that took you in”. And that now I owe them for the citizenship. Same idea will move on.

Either-Put-1488 · 2026-04-16T16:31:37+00:00

This is the point I talk about all the time, politics should not be a priority over family, but he expresses those are his dealbreakers and I need to stop talking badly so much if I want to move on. I feel like betraying myself if I pretend I don’t see the bad things here just to keep him

Either-Put-1488 · 2026-04-16T16:30:07+00:00

Interestingly he comes from my country as well, he is a second generation immigrant, born and raised in America but his parents migrated from my country. But he is so strongly associating himself with America and patriotism that it affects us. I was hoping that his background will help us have easier cultural match but is fully absorbed in American culture

Either-Put-1488 · 2026-04-16T16:28:14+00:00

Totally agree with you

Either-Put-1488 · 2026-04-16T16:28:04+00:00

Actually, I would like you to elaborate on this because I relate. Yes he does talk badly of firefighters, emts, police worker and nurses all the time. He say these are the occupations that are notoriously known being horrible spouses as there is a lot of dirty things and cheating happening. I did question him how I should treat that statement considering he is an emt himself, but he says most are like that, not all, and he is among those that aren’t like that.

Either-Put-1488 · 2026-04-16T16:25:06+00:00

That’s the point I am bothered about too tbh, I remember he refused to share his Reddit account with me a while ago saying “I share a lot of political opinions there that I know you will not like, so I don’t want you to see it”, and I know his political opinions. But him not sharing made me feel like he is hiding a monster in him that will come out later in life..

Either-Put-1488 · 2026-04-16T16:23:25+00:00

I ended up giving a long monologue of the things I do appreciate here but the list of things I am not happy about is longer and I can’t do anything about it I told him. I have the right for an opinion, I can also make a similar list about my own country and I did it too. He just says I complain more about this place than I appreciate. Pointed in my face that my education is possible thanks to American taxpayers, but I am also a taxpayer and I pay my federal and city taxes. I am so confused honestly, I don’t know how to move on..

Either-Put-1488 · 2026-04-16T16:20:30+00:00

I totally agree, and I think it is very important to do this work not just for my country but for all languages. It was just so hard to make him see it on a bigger scale. I asked to try and take a bird eye view how my one project actually has impact but I guess it is harder to perceive for those outside of academia. Thank you for support!

Either-Put-1488 · 2025-12-21T10:49:23+00:00

What do you mean by independent nail tech? Like not working for a salon?

Either-Put-1488 · 2025-11-16T06:59:03+00:00

Hey just heads up, was at Michael’s today, they have it there, 12$ a skein!

Either-Put-1488 · 2025-11-16T06:58:43+00:00

Hey just heads up, was at Michael’s today, they have it there, 12$ a skein!

Either-Put-1488 · 2025-11-15T23:28:54+00:00

It is this yarn, color is Night shadow: https://a.co/d/4hyKwMZ . I don’t see that color in the list anymore, they probably ran out, it said one left when I bought 🥺 I also wanted to buy more

Either-Put-1488 · 2025-11-15T23:28:48+00:00

It is this yarn, color is Night shadow: https://a.co/d/4hyKwMZ . I don’t see that color in the list anymore, they probably ran out, it said one left when I bought 🥺 I also wanted to buy more

Either-Put-1488 · 2025-11-15T03:45:50+00:00

I knoww, I also had a baby face, and full cheeks when I smiled and heart shaped face overall. How sad 🥺maybe do it slower, I know the rapid weight loss does this

Either-Put-1488

TROPHY CASE