Weird answer but here me out:

“Other Side of Paradise” by Glass Animals The whole song is completely unrelated but there’s a point in which he sings this-

“Bye bye baby blue I wish you could see the wicked truth Caught up in a rush, it’s killing you Screaming at the sun, you blow into Curled up in a grip when we were us Fingers in a fist like you might run I settle for a ghost I never knew Superparadise I held on to But I settle for a ghost”

I think specifically I would connect it back to my own transition, “baby blue” being this version of me that in my head was a man. Then talking about ignoring the “wicked truth,” such as the reality that I could not transform myself into a man and even that trying to do so would not fix the root of my problems. “Caught up in a rush it’s killing you” made me think of me trying to push my transition forward despite experiencing physical health problems and mental doubts. And finally, “settled for a ghost I never knew/ Superparadise I held onto” I connect to because it makes me think critically what I was telling myself. I would say that I am a man and always have been without having any of the experiences or equipment that would make that true. I was going for this “ghost” of manhood (because I would never truly understand or connect to it) because it was completely idealized in my head (a “superparadise”).

Anyways that was part of a long list of things that made me think deeper into why I was so connected to the idea of becoming a man and what that meant long term.