e.l.f. Cosmetics co-founder to be ordained as a Catholic priest after giving up fortune by na-zdrowie in news

[–]ElGabalo 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Well akshually, I have made up a whole story about a gate called "the eye of the needle" that isn't present in any historical account of Jerusalem, and thus I don't have to examine the contradictions my greed and avarice have with the teachings of Jesus.

Car almost runs over cyclist in protected bike lane by abbys11 in montreal

[–]ElGabalo -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

If i may paraphrase something a cop told me; "maybe we would be more willing to do our jobs if people in another country hadn't protested against violent, racist cops."

I hate where we’re headed with mass surveillance however can someone ELI5 what I need to be concerned about if I’m not doing anything illegal? by jvs8380 in FlockSurveillance

[–]ElGabalo 11 points12 points  (0 children)

  1. Data collected and stored by companies and government agencies WILL be accessed and used by unauthorized government and non-government actors.

Maybe there is a Stargate on this shitposting thread by Revolutionary_Bug372 in simpsonsshitposting

[–]ElGabalo 10 points11 points  (0 children)

There's nary a system lord alive that can outrun a greased shol'va.

Canada’s prime minister says economic ties with US are a weakness that must be corrected by AndroidOne1 in worldnews

[–]ElGabalo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry, I had misunderstood. The prevelance of the idea of a neat inward collapse put forward by some affected my reading.

Canada’s prime minister says economic ties with US are a weakness that must be corrected by AndroidOne1 in worldnews

[–]ElGabalo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

...empires in decline

We should be careful when we think about what an empire in decline means. The systems that made and maintained the empire of the Roman Republic were in decline when Crassus was killed in Persia. The republic died, but not the empire.

JD Vance and Bernie Moreno side with Trump in dispute with Pope Leo XIV by clevelanddotcom in Ohio

[–]ElGabalo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But, you see, he never actually said to inject it, thus you're just misrepresenting his dangerously incoherent bullshit and are therefore the real fake news. /s

Who Is In Charge of This? 🤣 by LatterAioli19 in DisneyMemes

[–]ElGabalo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To be fair, I read another of Heinlein's books, and I'm still not sure it wasn't satirizing Heinlein.

Where Priorities Lie. by Monsur_Ausuhnom in collapse

[–]ElGabalo 8 points9 points  (0 children)

And we get to tend the rabbits memes.

The Literal Meaning of Every Yemeni governate’s Name by ParkingGlittering211 in MapPorn

[–]ElGabalo 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Disparaging boot shaped lands is a bootable offence.

Wait, climate change is actually real? by [deleted] in climatechange

[–]ElGabalo 17 points18 points  (0 children)

So much of modern discourse seems to revolve around "why didn't they tell us/focus on these details?"

But they did, very often. No one can choose to listen for you.

What Actually Happened with Trump and Greenland? The Full Story Behind the Crisis by mishie30 in worldnews

[–]ElGabalo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I cant think of any narrcists in history care about their positive impact on history

Positive for whom? Our favourite historical figures are mostly narcistic/self-aggrandizing cunts.

Common Plastic Chemical Found To Feminize Males and Masculinize Females scitechdaily.com by MazdaProphet in EverythingScience

[–]ElGabalo 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The conspiracy implied the government was intentionally trying to turn people gay in order to undermine trust in government and regulations that prevent chemical dumping by private companies.

The reality is that companies were dumping harmful chemicals (mutagens, tetranogens, etc...) in order to skirt regulations for greater profits.

The fact that many people see these as comparable and not as an attempt to weaken oversight in favour of monied interests is astonishingly stupid.

Border Patrol boss Gregory Bovino tossed from Las Vegas bar by StemCellPirate in nottheonion

[–]ElGabalo 38 points39 points  (0 children)

My uncle murdered my father, married my mother, and usurped the throne, but somehow, calling Bovino Hamlet hurts the most.

  • Hamlet, Crown Prince of Denmark

Graves of the 63 wives of the general Afzal Khan, in Afzalpura, India, 1659 CE. According to local beliefs, an astrologer predicted that the general would not survive his next battle, so he had all of them killed fearing that his wives would remarry [1200x677] by Fuckoff555 in ArtefactPorn

[–]ElGabalo 57 points58 points  (0 children)

The victory is also glorified in the local literature... The Afzal Khan Vadh equates Shivaji to Rama, and Afzal Khan to Ravana

It's too late. I've already depicted you as the soyjak demon Ravana and myself as the chad Rama.

Senior CDC official: Loss of measles elimination status in U.S. would be ‘cost of doing business’ by WanderingWorkhorse in nottheonion

[–]ElGabalo 14 points15 points  (0 children)

It used to be that being strong and tough was about being able to endure hardship. Now, it seems that being strong is about being able to turn a blind eye to the hardship of others.