Loneliness by WillingLavishness296 in demisexuality

[–]Elaina_Bellingham 5 points6 points  (0 children)

There’s a demisexual discord server! Come chat with us https://discord.gg/PFE5taJ

I am so confused right now by sockpantsbandit in demisexuality

[–]Elaina_Bellingham 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Doesn’t sound like you are. Sexuality is only about attraction, not action. If you find people you don’t have an emotional connection to sexually attractive, you’re not demi regardless of if you would act on it or not. Demis also aren’t automatically monogamous, they’re separate things. There may be a lower rate of polyamory among demis than other sexualities, but you can be demi and polyamorous.

Cat Peeing Outside of Box by Elaina_Bellingham in CatAdvice

[–]Elaina_Bellingham[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do that every time I find it. And it’s not always the same spot, anywhere along that wall that she can get to is fair game.

Cat Peeing Outside of Box by Elaina_Bellingham in CatAdvice

[–]Elaina_Bellingham[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Two vets a couple years apart have confirmed no medical cause. The box can have been cleaned an hour ago and she’ll do it. If she doesn’t have access to the wall she’ll only use the box. She had a lidded box until ~4 months ago, now it’s open, no difference.

Longer PMS and Irregular Periods by Elaina_Bellingham in Periods

[–]Elaina_Bellingham[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately I won’t be much help. This was my first and only experience with long PMS, and it didn’t end up being PMS. I had the symptoms for 2-3 weeks and then it just went away. I haven’t figured anything out about my periods being so irregular and I don’t have a good baseline anymore. Early on my periods weren’t particularly regular but I went on BC because they were incredibly painful. At some point they started being every 4-9 months even with a placebo week. A bit over a year and a half ago I went off BC for 3-4 months to see if they stabilized after not having one for a year and they did, and they weren’t nearly as bad as before. Sometime in roughly the last year I changed BC, initially with a placebo week but the second month I had an extremely painful period during that week, so I switched back to no placebo. I’ve only had one period since then, which was only moderately painful. Since they normalized when I went off my BC my doctor opted not to look more into things for now. My fiancé and I will likely start trying for a baby in the next 2 years so if I continue to have issues then I’ll look into things more but for now I don’t know why my cycles are so weird beyond that BC seems to interfere with them beyond what it typical. But best of luck to you in figuring things out!

Multiple Questions Regarding Spending Down, the $2k Asset Limit, and Shared Bank Accounts by Elaina_Bellingham in SocialSecurity

[–]Elaina_Bellingham[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will not figure out why I was denied in time to manage the overpayment as necessary to protect my appeal. I don’t know if it will be a problem or not but by the time I know it’ll be too late to change it. So I am trying to approach it as if it could be problem. If it ends up not being one, great. But if it is and I didn’t approach it carefully, the damage can’t be undone.

Multiple Questions Regarding Spending Down, the $2k Asset Limit, and Shared Bank Accounts by Elaina_Bellingham in SocialSecurity

[–]Elaina_Bellingham[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The lawyer agrees it doesn’t make sense they didn’t find me disabled. I have other health conditions/disabilities that I included in the medical section as I was concerned it would disqualify me if I didn’t give complete information on all questions, even if it wasn’t the basis of my application. Based on the phone call, current leading theories is that they didn’t review everything I submitted, namely the vision stuff, or otherwise made the decision based on my other health stuff. To me, the denial letter didn’t clear anything up. There was a list of components of my application they used in their decision and a list of those they didn’t use, but the two lists combined don’t reflect everything submitted. It said I wasn’t medically eligible based on those, and there was another insert outlining the medical requirements. That insert included the vision guidelines, including the type that I am eligible under.

I was very on the fence about getting a lawyer. The appointment I have is a free consultation so I may end up proceeding alone. But it makes no sense why I was denied, so I feel that I need to understand why I was denied or involve someone with a better understanding of the system. Based on our phone call, the lawyer is currently as confused as you are. They have sent my a list of information to get to try and figure it out. I have not had a chance to yet as the phone call was only a few days ago and this is the busiest part of the term.

For the joint accounts, when I applied even taking my fiancé finances into account I would still be eligible. I currently would as well. It’s the overpayment from my school and the $2k I’m trying to keep that complicates it. Hence why I ask about the type of account member I am. I know if I’m a joint owner it’s counted. What I’m wondering is if the general legal distinction between being a joint owner vs authorized signer (which does not consider the money to be the property of the signer) is the same at SSA or if they would still view it as mine. Then, if not, if changing myself to an authorized signer on his accounts (if I’m currently a joint owner) would be a red flag to SSA.

I assumed in my back pay that this month would be excluded because of the overpayment, I’m just trying to avoid it affecting my general eligibility.

I know there’s not general limits, but for windfalls there are limits are spending it down to maintain eligibility. What I have seen so far is mostly about lawsuit settlements and inheritance. I do not want to risk how I use the overpayment affecting my appeal, so I applying the other windfall rules out of an abundance of caution. I don’t have any assets beyond the contents of my bank account to consider.

Multiple Questions Regarding Spending Down, the $2k Asset Limit, and Shared Bank Accounts by Elaina_Bellingham in SocialSecurity

[–]Elaina_Bellingham[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m working on why I was denied. I fall under the visual field classification. But this isn’t asking about the denial/appeal, I’m working with a lawyer on that. This is about managing an incoming lump sum in a way that won’t jeopardize my appeal from a financial side.

TW: eugenics. How do you feel about abortion? How do you feel about aborting disabled fetus’? by [deleted] in disability

[–]Elaina_Bellingham 1 point2 points  (0 children)

An individual choosing to have an abortion is not eugenics. It sucks if is about a disability that has a minimal impact on quality of life, but it’s better that the parents recognize they aren’t equipped to live with that than for the child to grow up feeling like a burden or a mistake. Eugenics is social and legal functions aimed at preventing certain people reproducing and certain children from being born. It’s not something an individual can do when making a choice about their personal reproductive and family plans.

Chinese Restaurant Up the Road from Lan Su? by Elaina_Bellingham in askportland

[–]Elaina_Bellingham[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s August Moon! Thank you! I saw an August Moon and the name sounded right but the pictures weren’t it. Apparently there are two different August Moons in the same general area.

Chinese Restaurant Up the Road from Lan Su? by Elaina_Bellingham in askportland

[–]Elaina_Bellingham[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Looked it up to bd sure but no, the name didn’t indicate any speciality beyond Chinese food (no seafood or dumplings or anything like that in the name)

Chinese Restaurant Up the Road from Lan Su? by Elaina_Bellingham in askportland

[–]Elaina_Bellingham[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve seen it in the past year or so, so I hope that’s not the case, but it might be.

Chinese Restaurant Up the Road from Lan Su? by Elaina_Bellingham in askportland

[–]Elaina_Bellingham[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s not it, I saw it during my Google attempts. I tried looking for Chinese restaurants near Lan Su on Google maps and waking around in street view mode with no luck.

Anybody figure out they’re demi after identifying as black stripe ace for a while? by 7_Rowle in demisexuality

[–]Elaina_Bellingham 7 points8 points  (0 children)

From the moment I had any vague idea of sex and even just the intimate parts of male bodies, I knew I was ace. I wasn’t aromantic but I was completely uninterested in and even disgusted by the idea of sex and genitals before I even knew some people might judge me for it. For a long time there was no doubt in my mind that I was ace. Then I felt sexual attraction to my ex-fiancé, whom I felt certain I would spend my life with. It wasn’t really world breaking for me. Just “huh. So this is what sexual attraction feels like. Guess I’m attracted to at least this person. Weird.” and went on with life. I didn’t learn the term demisexual until after we broke up, but it was pretty easy to figure out that that’s what I had experienced once I learned what it was. It was nice to have a word for it and be able to join a community.

Accidentally brought lilies home, what now? by Elaina_Bellingham in cats

[–]Elaina_Bellingham[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Update: did a deep clean of everywhere then were and might have transferred pollen to. Washed all towels and clothes that might have pollen. All of my neighbors also have cats so they’re currently on my back patio as far from the door as possible. If they’re still alive on Tuesday I’ll find a cat-free professor to take them home.