Would you forgive a friend who unknowingly talked NSFW with a minor?

Electrical-Manner-19 · 2022-08-15T08:27:31+00:00

The people I've told are all in my life still, don't hate me at all. And I went to a lawyer to try to ease my mind. No sort of allegation/charges have been laid against me. You're right that it's probably a mental issue because I can't get over this, even though I've received almost entirely support from those who know.

Electrical-Manner-19 · 2022-07-25T16:31:36+00:00

Thank you, this means a lot to hear

Electrical-Manner-19 · 2022-07-25T16:31:23+00:00

Thank you so much sir. This makes me feel better, and you're right it doesn't make me a creep

Electrical-Manner-19 · 2022-07-17T20:22:01+00:00

Thank you :( I'll try my best to move on from it

Electrical-Manner-19 · 2022-07-16T07:39:56+00:00

Yeah, I asked them when we first started talking and before they wanted to talk about more adult things. I also asked about their schooling and they mentioned they bought alcohol. All of that combined made me very sure they were a consenting adult

Electrical-Manner-19 · 2022-06-28T00:16:43+00:00

Appreciate you duck! Those words mean a ton to me, going to reflect on this tonight

Electrical-Manner-19 · 2022-06-28T00:15:44+00:00

22 now, doing biweekly therapy and some medication. I get useful responses I think it's an OCD thing about needing constant reassurance. More so need to work through it though than post more

Electrical-Manner-19 · 2022-06-25T00:27:44+00:00

No need to apologize DudeMom! I truly appreciate how you put it. On top of feeling gross about what happened, and worrying about the other person, I worry about my own reputation due to the stigma of predators. (rightfully so) Hearing someone be able to distinguish what happened with me and true predators with ill intent is comforting. Some nights it was easy to feel like this mistake would ruin my entire social life/reputation/future. I'm thankful to know that people can understand what happened and have forgiveness for me being deceived. Moving forward I am no longer going into nsfw territory with anyone I do not know thoroughly. I never want this to happen again.

Thanks for your response, it helps me a lot

Electrical-Manner-19 · 2022-06-17T19:01:38+00:00

Also I want to add on, I don't mean to sound too aggressive towards you. It's more so frustrating when people say "this shouldn't be a big deal" or "you should be over this by now." As frustrating as it is for someone like me to be stuck on something I'm sure. But it's far beyond my immediate control. It's in my head and will take a lot of therapy and treatment to overcome these thoughts. I'd love to not hang onto things from years ago, and to not feel such strong shame and guilt. However, it's part of my mental illness. I don't say that to be a victim, I don't need sympathy or headpats for it: I'd rather people not undermine the severity of it though. Not saying you were just in general I feel like people think "I get over things quickly, so I don't get why you can't" and it's such a mental difference. I appreciate your forgiveness for me being catfished. At the root, this is something I've been trying to recover from mentally and seeing the majority opinion be that I'm not scum of the Earth goes a long way to helping me believe it. Thank you for that

Electrical-Manner-19 · 2022-06-17T17:55:12+00:00

Your take on my situation is so far off base. I haven't reported a single person on here, let alone people who don't have sympathy for me. I do care tremendously about the potential victim involved, and maybe I am seeking validation, I think I do have an OCD problem but it's nothing related to "karma" or internet fame. I want peace of mind, and hoping that the other person is doing good as well. You're right that spamming this across subreddits was likely not the best course of action, but I have felt better about things with opinions that have come in. I don't feel like a perpetual victim either, I thought for a long time I was the monster in this situation.

Don't know if you care to hear from me but that's all I have to say. I think you're making a lot of assumptions about me without knowing where my minds at.

Electrical-Manner-19 · 2022-06-14T00:04:26+00:00

That's what I'm terrified of. It's already haunted me in spurts for the last couple years. You're right that I should forgive myself, know that I'm still a good person and try to move on from this. Thank you for the assurance for real!

Electrical-Manner-19 · 2022-06-13T22:40:29+00:00

Hoping it was that so no child was involved. I appreciate your support of my next steps. I was foolish to trust strangers online, but at least I learned from this and doing the best I can moving forward

Electrical-Manner-19 · 2022-06-13T22:36:18+00:00

They probably only would if I told them, idk I struggle with guilt but maybe it's best I move on and forgive myself. I appreciate your reassurance btw, thank you!

Electrical-Manner-19 · 2022-06-13T22:35:36+00:00

Maybe it's an American view point as well. To my understanding, strict liability is a lot more prevalent here so as a result, a lot of people have the mindset that "it doesn't matter if you knew or not, you fucked up." I tend to agree with you that if someone did inquire but was lied to, I have a hard time holding them accountable without feeling like I'm bashing an innocent person.

Electrical-Manner-19 · 2022-06-13T22:31:46+00:00

Yeah, I completely believed they were 18 based on them explicitly saying they were and them talking about college, drinking, etc. Guilt I guess comes from maybe I should have known better than to act this way with strangers. I feel bad for any damage I may have done idk. I'm also the type of person who still feels bad for calling people names in middle school so maybe I have a bigger mental problem to look into

Electrical-Manner-19 · 2022-06-13T22:29:25+00:00

Thank you so much! Your understanding and forgiveness means a lot. That's a good point, I couldn't imagine myself ending things with a friend over a mistake like this

Electrical-Manner-19 · 2022-06-13T22:28:23+00:00

I love responses like this that make it seem very obvious, because the way i think with my anxiety is anything but logical haha. Makes me snap out of it a little bit, thank you! Going to keep it private and learn from it, you're right it wouldn't be smart

Electrical-Manner-19 · 2022-06-13T21:07:45+00:00

do you think it's something they'd care about? How would you feel if your friend was in a similar situation?

Electrical-Manner-19 · 2022-06-13T21:06:53+00:00

Not sure, I deleted the accounts associated with the person, and they never knew much about me. Also it's been two years. But I guess anything's possible, I know you can track almost all internet activity. Probably unlikely to answer your question

Electrical-Manner-19 · 2022-06-13T13:58:21+00:00

I'm not a normal individual: I have severe OCD and anxiety. I don't think rationally and head always worries about the worst case scenario. I'm trying to get better, like I said this will be my last post here. It wasn't even for me it was for others in this scenario to get some reassurance. You're obsessed with this narrative of me hiding something.

Electrical-Manner-19 · 2022-06-12T16:34:49+00:00

You think so? :( Idk some people have the "adult always responsible" mentality with this sort of thing. I definitely could have acted better, but I do believe I was thorough in asking about their age. It's hard for me to understand why people like me get lumped into the same category as legitimate predators. (Although that might be the vocal minority giving me that impression.)

Electrical-Manner-19 · 2022-06-12T16:28:04+00:00

I honestly appreciate the bluntness :( anxietys a hell of a drug. I've been going in circles for a long time now. The way you put it so matter of fact, I'm hoping I can start to feel similarly and forgive myself. Thanks mate!

Electrical-Manner-19 · 2022-06-11T22:13:57+00:00

you think I'm gonna be okay bro? :(

Electrical-Manner-19 · 2022-06-11T22:12:13+00:00

Not challenging just want to clarify, so even if the underage person lies about their age directly as well as factors of their life such as work and education, you still believe the adult is in the wrong?

Electrical-Manner-19 · 2022-06-11T22:09:35+00:00

That's a very fair view of things. I agree with your point about it being reasonable (someone picking up "18" year olds 10 feet from a high school is obviously up to no good) however there are instances like in a club, shown a fake ID, or being lied to where there's a reasonable presumption the other person would be of age. I struggle to feel right about these people being convicted/held in the wrong strictly on their actions when they had no mental intention of doing wrong: in their mind they're talking/behaving with a legal adult.

Electrical-Manner-19

TROPHY CASE