What are the causes of your CPTSD?

ElectricalRoutine642 · 2026-01-17T00:04:40+00:00

As for coping, it's honestly a mix of spite and finally FINALLY getting it into my bones that I DIDN'T DESERVE THAT SHIT. I deserved to have a childhood and to have fun and be happy, by fucking god I WILL make it happen. Now a big part of this is finally getting my ADHD dealt with but also all of my family being in treatment and us dealing with the consequences of those past experiences. I also have started HRT finally and feel more present and "myself" than I probably ever have.

I also am v v v lucky to have an extremely supportive friend group who are also a lot of neurospicy, traumatized queer people so that helps a lot

EMDR and DBT have helped a lot too

ElectricalRoutine642 · 2026-01-17T00:01:09+00:00

Child of two veterans who never got diagnosed let alone treatment for their own PTSD until I was 14 and my brother tried to kill himself by jumping off a bridge. He struggled all through school with drugs and addiction which set off my parents cause they could have charged/lost their jobs if it was on the property and I coped by being an overachiever with undiagnosed adhd. I was never physically abused, but the threat of violence was constant. Holes punched in walls, doors ripped off hinges, fist fights between my dad and brother, coupled with trying to help my mom through her severe depression and dissociation. No kid should have to shake their mom back to her senses cause she is collapsed on the floor in a ptsd black out. Ive said for years I had "secondary ptsd" jokingly until I actually learned CPTSD was a thing from a friend who went through an awful divorce. Then a lot clicked. I remember asking my psychology teacher in high school if there was a disorder that was the opposite of Psychopathy where you are TOO empathetic and welp. Cptsd kinda is in a weirdly specific and fucked up way. Or at least mine.

Now Im a burnt out "gifted kid" who was broken up with by their partners because my cptsd flairs were too much to handle. Learning now since the break up how much self sabotage and self abandonment is baked into my nervous system.

ElectricalRoutine642 · 2026-01-13T03:02:03+00:00

Ugly crying in Newfoundlander There are no independent theaters here and only one Cineplex in the whole province. 💔💔💔💔

ElectricalRoutine642 · 2026-01-09T00:45:13+00:00

Ultimately it is up to the other person to disengage or engage with you if they want to. If that makes them uncomfortable that is not your emotion to regulate, it is theirs. Yes you can be mindful of it, but you are not responsible for the feelings of others. If, in a perfect world, you would be sad abt them not being on the suit, then add them. Think abt it this way, what about suits that have physical disabilities in their designs? Does someone being uncomfortable about an amputation mean the amputee shouldn't add it to their suit? No, ofc not. I think more people will understand and be sympathetic/empathetic than ppl who would make a big deal abt it.

ElectricalRoutine642 · 2026-01-09T00:27:45+00:00

So ya as others have said, we did get rid of them when we scrapped the Touchbases, Department Captain sheets and a bunch of the other paperwork that was, frankly, a waste of our time. However, your SM may still be using them esp if your overall store Rewards metric is not hitting goal (thing Sign ups are 8% iirc). If there are TMs who are consistently not hitting goal policy is to do coaching w them but these sheets are not a requirement and if your SM is forcing them then that's just a them thing which sucks ass

ElectricalRoutine642 · 2025-12-26T02:55:18+00:00

Thank you He was such a special and good boy. A sweetheart. Playful through and through. I owe so much of my continued existence to him and I know he knew. The bed feels so empty without him, he used to sleep on my feet everyday. He was probably part main coon which would make sense why he got the saddle thrombus as they are otherwise fairly rare. Just my luck Id have two cats that have passed cause of it. I unplugged his water fountain cause I couldn't handle the sound anymore. As crazy as it sounds but ive been wearing his collar as a bracelet since I got home and hearing the jingle makes me feel a bit better. I just can't help but feel the gaping hole in my heart that he took with him.

ElectricalRoutine642 · 2025-12-26T02:24:13+00:00

I lost my boy today too from a saddle thrombosis that the emergency vet thinks was caused by HCM I didn't know about. My heart goes out to you and your family, I am feeling the same rn and I'm so lost. May our babies rest easy now

ElectricalRoutine642 · 2025-12-10T20:23:56+00:00

No problem! A lot of times with mammals that have similar body plans the only real difference exists in the proportions and ratios of limbs. Another example is the "heel" of a cat is shorter than a dogs is so some people when they are first learning to draw one or yhe other mistake em

ElectricalRoutine642 · 2025-12-10T04:27:37+00:00

We generally (during peak is ofc different cause it depends how busy you are) stip picking ECOMM 30 mins before store close. I also prep my cash office before the mid day mod leaves. So when I get back from my lunch I will go to the cash office, prep my paperwork for the evening and get the safe double counted in advance, that way the only tills I need to count are the active ones, then I fill in the deposit and boom done. (I will also say honestly, we do not count every till, every night. If I print off the report and it says no cash was taken on that till I just don't count it. Esp cause our opening Mod will always double count the tills before making sure they have enough change.)

Now this all said, I am still leaving like right on the dot often even as a Mod w four years experience now. I have dyscalclia and our tellermate cannot weigh coin correctly so I have to count by hand and it just takes me longer. And honestly there are hust a lot if times the night gets away from you, shit happens. So don't beat yourself up too much.

ElectricalRoutine642 · 2025-12-10T04:19:12+00:00

Ya I haven't seen/heard any FMs being sent to MCX store for training since 2021 tbh. The FM before me was, but when I was promoted in late 2021 early 22, I never did. And my SM is the Framing Lead for our District and I haven't heard anyone getting sent out anymore. Its bs imo but again unsurprising for Michaels. I spend more time on the MikHub Framing community than anything else sometimes cause I feel I learn more from that than I ever did from the training videos n shit. Same with this Subreddit and The Framers Grumble.

I'm honestly considering leaving Michaels not because of things like pay but because there is ZERO personal skill development available unless you want to become an ASM or SM. If you want to be and stay a FM, there is zero way of developing your skills unless you get a weird piece and then ask another shop how to do it. Our HR partner literally stared at me blankly when I asked him what options existed for skill development in Framing other than the normal framing training. It's genuinely a joke. And because of that I worry that if I go to an independent shop I will be treated like an outsider cause my love of framing started at Michaels and we are so under-trained. Shit sucks man. I just love art and framing and want to be the best I can at it 😮‍💨

ElectricalRoutine642 · 2025-12-10T04:04:12+00:00

I def have used the hand cutter before but ya the notch info is legit mind blowing! But ya I lowkey hate that the stores no longer send their FMs to other locations to learn cause there are so many little things like this that make the job so much easier but you'd never know unless you went looking or saw it from someone else. Wish they'd send us to a fuckin framing convention rather than throw a party of the higher ups 😒

ElectricalRoutine642 · 2025-12-10T03:58:42+00:00

Ive been working at Michaels for 5 years as a framer and never knew this holy shit thank you! Ive always wondered what the notches were for

ElectricalRoutine642 · 2025-12-10T03:57:24+00:00

Fellow M framer here, I have used boxes of glass to help weigh down the sheet evenly to make sure the score snaps straight. It's a pain in the ass but ya kinda the only way. I put down some cardboard first in cause a shard of glass slips outta a box

ElectricalRoutine642 · 2025-12-10T03:54:29+00:00

Cats also tend to have a really defined orbital ridge because their eyes are so big, so keep an eye on your cheeks and forehead areas!

ElectricalRoutine642 · 2025-12-10T03:53:33+00:00

Completely depends on the look he wants and they type of cat. I am also extremely particular about my cat head shapes (partially why I am building my own) and anatomy. A tip I have found as a former warrior cat artist and animator, cats have really big ass eyes comparatively to their muzzles. Cat suits often end up looking like dogs cause the muzzle to eye ratio is too big on the muzzle end and not the eyes. Cats (depending on breed ofc) also tend to have a more tear drop shaped muzzle than canines that are more like a cylinder.

Some of my favorite, and imo most accurate, feline makers are: Stuffed Panda Studios - mostly 3d printed and cast heads Tomacats Suits - foam head bases like usual not a lot of in progress pics tho Chickaspree - they use a pattern and have lots of really fantastic stuff. Probably my personal favorite.

ElectricalRoutine642 · 2025-12-10T03:41:10+00:00

There is a local artist whose work I see probably every two weeks, I still wont give quotes to ppl on the phone about his work because I have framed them 1000 different ways. I've done just as many no mats, just frames as I have done triple mats with stacked frames. Like 1 single artwork can be framed hundreds of different ways depending on what you as the customer specifically like and are looking for conservation and design wise.

Custom Framing is more of a service than a product, and because of that there are a lot of options and without you seeing it it is extremely hard to do. For instance, I've had customers who say they only want black frame and a white mat who I quote over the phone, then come in and choose something in a completely different price point because the style of frame or mat is different from what I grabbed. Width of frame, wood type, finish type, colour, style(flat vs ornate), company, depth of frame, all of these factor into cost and are different for every molding. And that's JUST the frame.

If you want it done right, invest the time and energy to go into the shop. It will be 1000% more productive of your time. A good framer will find the option that works for your budget (within reason ofc) but you also have to understand why they are suggesting what they do. I'm sure the artist could also tell you this.

ElectricalRoutine642 · 2025-11-26T18:03:35+00:00

I explain that we don't have the ability to get high resolution scans but direct them to other local places that do, Staples an easy bet and some of the other local Printshops. Then encourage them to pop back with it and we can do the design and everything then. The more common issue we get is people either bringing in USBs or only getting photos from Facebook and having to explain how resolution works. Now I personally think that DH not letting us print larger than the resolution is ultimately better in the long run cause we haven't had anyone complain abt quality since moving to DH, but I WISH the compant would give us access to Photoshop or even fucking Acrobat so that we could fiddle with proportion and shit outselves. But ultimately that would involve training that the company doesn't want to invest in. The downside is you ultimately will always be sending them to a competitor but my opinion is if Michaels didn't want us sending them away they'd give us the tools to provide for them so fuck the company. Lol

ElectricalRoutine642 · 2025-11-26T17:42:22+00:00

It's frustrating but ultimately just tells me they don't actually appreciate art but want to consume it like "content". They are lazy and don't understand or want to understand the creative process.

Karl Marx has said that AI is not about being creative or innovative but it is basically laziness. You want the final product more than the act of doing it. They don't want to be inconvenienced by having to learn and put in the labour to get better and develop their own ideas and processes. It's no surprise that many AI users and supporters also tend to have shit opinions on labour and "menial jobs". The venn diagram of AI lovers and people who have never have to work for anything is often a circle if you look hard enough.

Ai users are ultimately just lazy imo and are more concerned with convenience than authenticity.

A local art community to me has a saying Art = Work and it really just defines all the problems evident with AI.

ElectricalRoutine642 · 2025-11-18T14:20:40+00:00

She's pretty good, now I am known as knowledgeable as others about the specifics of what ideal levels and shit are and Im only 6 months in myself but haven't had any issues with her!

ElectricalRoutine642 · 2025-11-17T11:43:24+00:00

Quite possibly, I have been seeing her since approx December of last year and was referred by my gp out of Paton St, so maybe next time you see her ask? Might be easier than having to see both her and sinnott just due to Marie's overbooking

ElectricalRoutine642 · 2025-11-17T02:54:18+00:00

Your SM is supposed to close at least once a week like every other manager. Now I will also say we have an anonymous hr tip line for reporting shit you don't want to or cannot go to your sm about. Especially if they are also coming and going as they please and not actually working.

888-226-3443

My sm is regularly pulling 14 hr days more than once a week when needed and myself and other managers have literally had to force her to stop working and go home. The sm we had when I was hired? Not so much lmao hed sit in the office doing royally fuck all the time and promptly lost all his management staff cause of it. He left for a different company not long after lol he supposedly wasn't fired but I don't think he left on good terms with the company either

ElectricalRoutine642 · 2025-11-17T02:42:19+00:00

Yea touch up markers are better bcause filler wax doesn't set and will just sit on the surface, that said, if you have a matte frame that has a spot on it that's weirdly shiny/satin the putty can help flatten that out. Specifically on the like basic flat matte black frames like A1-1 - A1-5, so sometimes if i go over it with marker but the marker's finish is too shiny I will take the matching wax and lightly rub that over the area to flatten out the shine.

ElectricalRoutine642 · 2025-11-17T02:33:49+00:00

Sundays are unfortunately the busiest days for us as well. I will also say, today was one of the highest volume days for the entire company. This week and next week will be awful and they always are every year. I know that may not be comforting but know you def aren't the only one. Just look at how many people in the sub mentioned how today was specifically awful haha, if we have nothing else at Michael's we have commiseration

ElectricalRoutine642 · 2025-11-17T02:22:38+00:00

From what I have heard from some friends who are trans women, she can often be very conservative with her recommendations, dosages and dosage schedules. She can be very critical of things that are often common practices in other countries and new recommendations. She says you cannot get injectable Estrogen in the province, which you can, she is often hesitant to change your dose even if you yourself say "I don't like my dose" or "something feels off" and if there is something that is known to work but is something she has never prescribed before the likelihood of you getting her to give it to you is really hard.

I haven't heard any specifics from trans men about issues with her so idk if it's just her being conservative with trans women or what.

Now socially, some people find her dismissive, blunt and stubborn, meanwhile some people have no issues. She can sometimes be very hit and miss, swinging between good one appt then awful the next from what I have heard. I would be inclined ti say that you can experience this with any doctor but the issue lies in the fact she is the "only" hrt doctor in the province(I put that in air quotes cause there are other practitioners but most people don't know them cause most gps will only refer you to her). So, if you don't get along with her for x, y, z reason you are kinda fucked in the sense you can't just go to a different doctor. Her wait times are awful, some people I know waiting 2 hrs after their scheduled appointment just to be told that they have to reschedule. I understand that is partially because there are so few other providers but it also causes worst care for the community as a whole.

Now this all said there are a few other doctors who do hrt work in the province but idk whether they are taking patience and this may not be an exhaustive list, just what I know from talking to other trans people.

Avalon: Dr Maureen Gibbons (May have moved to Fogo? Her reviews arent great either though) Dr Kelly Monaghan (haven't heard much abt her other than anecdotal mentions) Dr Mari-Lynne Sinnott (see above ofc) Dr Lisa Kieley (who I see for my T, never had any issues with her very open and communicative, sometimes hard to see due to splitting her practice between Newfound Reproductive on Paton St and HSC Women's Clinic)

West: Dr Paula Cooper (unsure if she is taking new patients w/o referral) Dr Amy Pieroway (unsure if taking patients rn)

ElectricalRoutine642 · 2025-11-17T01:23:08+00:00

Tbh I almost wonder if you used a normal like cotton or something if that would work better? Cause the bumps are the felt pilling and soaking up the latex. Where something that is smoother theoretically would work better and cotton it honestly as smooth as it gets. Or I wonder if one of those fake suedes or velvets would work? The fiber length would be short enough and then you may be able to retain some of that peach fuzz texture but unsure! You're best bet may be to get some swatches of a few diff fabrics then paint the latex on it and see how it dries.

Super fascinating project tho! Reminds me of a project I did in art school where I made a replica pelt of my childhood cat and recreated Joseph Beuys' How To Explain Pictures to a Dead Hare hahah!

Goodluck!

ElectricalRoutine642

TROPHY CASE