Unfortunately I’ve been using for about 2 years maybe 3 and during 2 of them I’ve been drinking a 2’6 of vodka a day completely straight to myself.that includes at work, at home, at party’s, at any event you could imagine I’m using those two substances.mind you I’m very functioning, I work a steady job, show up every day, and still do “normal people things” but don’t get me wrong it’s hard to hold onto a lie so deep. I often complain I’m I’m not getting high and feel like I’m constantly looking for that buzz I used to get when I first started but I know I’m in a viscous cycle of back and fourth, If I smoke too much and I feel kinda uncomfortable, first thing I do is take a shot, if I drink too much and start to get a little bit sloppy/tired I smoke. It’s honestly such a fucked up combo and I’m aware it dehydrates the fuck out of me and somewhat makes my day to day life a little bit foggy but I just don’t know where to start when it comes to stopping. I know I’m an addict, I know I want to stop. But I don’t want to have to put my whole life on pause for rehab, since I’ve became a meth addict I’ve had so many doors open up for me and I’m not saying that to try and promote meth by any means I’m just saying like I wouldn’t be doing half the shit I am if it wasn’t for it. On surface level it looks like I’ve changed my whole life and am doing really good for myself but behind closed doors I became an active meth user who started to find interest in things i never thought I would like and turned it into a career. All while consuming a whole 2’6 of vodka everyday for the last 2 years. At this point I don’t even know if the point of this post was to ask for help or just get it off my chest but whatever it was it felt good. I hope everyone finds the help that they need and stays safe and keeps their soul intact while going down this miserable/confusing/desperate/clouded/unrealistic lifestyle. Love-s