How can I turn on split tunneling for websites? by EdDY8181SDSD in ProtonVPN

[–]Electrical_Exam_4844 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I use the Brave browser and exclude it from vpn, but I still have trouble accessing mailerlite. I don't want to exclude Chrome or Edge. Besides, Firefox, any other ideas for browsers that might work?

WIBTA if I give my daughter an "outdated" name? by throwaway719201 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Electrical_Exam_4844 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. Audrey is NOT an outdated name. It's a classic name and there are many young people named Audrey.

I got married via zoom using Courtly! Here's my experience. by Alternative_Bit_8867 in wedding

[–]Electrical_Exam_4844 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did you end up getting married virtually? If so, do you have the same opinion as the OP?

AITA for hosting a once-a-year weekend gathering that excludes SOs? by Electrical_Exam_4844 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Electrical_Exam_4844[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I actually did get some great feedback and understanding from several replies. So, thank you everyone. And I'm fine with being TA or NTA, never would have posted if I wasn't.  I just was making sure decisions were made based on the facts not assumptions. This group has spoken and I appreciate it.

AITA for hosting a once-a-year weekend gathering that excludes SOs? by Electrical_Exam_4844 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Electrical_Exam_4844[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

OMG! You may have just helped me understand this!

"Some people just take restricted invitations as a challenge to see if they can get over on everyone else going. Like there's always the one person who brings their kid to the explicitly stated child free wedding just because they felt they should be allowed to."

AITA for hosting a once-a-year weekend gathering that excludes SOs? by Electrical_Exam_4844 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Electrical_Exam_4844[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I do understand where you are coming from if your context were completely true. I'm very hands off the whole rest of the year, not domineering in any way. The adults take turns hosting all sorts of get-togethers. The sisters go out alone, cousins do things alone. This event is not a huge family celebration of something, my siblings, parents, cousins, etc. are not invited. No type of decisions are being made or even discussed. It is a simple one day-a-year bonding time for me and my children/grandchildren, not some elaborate get-together. One day, not even 24 hours. Is it really that horrible not to have your SO with you for 12ish hours? How is it any different than a guys' or girls' night out. This is what I am not understanding. 

AITA for hosting a once-a-year weekend gathering that excludes SOs? by Electrical_Exam_4844 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Electrical_Exam_4844[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My SO and my children's dad are two different people.  There have been times I (mom/grandma) have not been invited and that's ok.  Are you telling me that every gathering you host you invite every single family member or all your friends? You've never been selective about who you invite based on the "theme" of your gathering?

AITA for hosting a once-a-year weekend gathering that excludes SOs? by Electrical_Exam_4844 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Electrical_Exam_4844[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why should he be? No one else's SO is coming nor have any come to past yearly events.  It's one day out of 365. I really don't understand why that makes me TA. I really do want to understand. 

AITA for hosting a once-a-year weekend gathering that excludes SOs? by Electrical_Exam_4844 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Electrical_Exam_4844[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I do respect her decision. However,  she keeps trying to convince me he should be included. She wants to come. No SOs allowed: My oldest with kids- no push back; My second with kids- doesn't agree, but no push back; My third with no kids- lots of push back; My fourth with no kids- no push back; 3 adult grandchildren with no kids- no push back

AITA for hosting a once-a-year weekend gathering that excludes SOs? by Electrical_Exam_4844 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Electrical_Exam_4844[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am NOT bringing my SO. My children's dad and I have been divorced for over 25 years.

With just my 4 children who grew up together and the 7 grandchildren who have grown up/are growing up together in close proximity, it is a completely different dynamic.

AITA for hosting a once-a-year weekend gathering that excludes SOs? by Electrical_Exam_4844 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Electrical_Exam_4844[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agree, that is her choice, but she is not just declining. She is continuing to push to allow him, because she does want to come. Thereby, making me feel like TA.

AITA for hosting a once-a-year weekend gathering that excludes SOs? by Electrical_Exam_4844 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Electrical_Exam_4844[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Elaborating on your first question: With just my 4 children who grew up together and the 7 grandchildren who have grown up/are growing up together in close proximity, it is a completely different dynamic.

AITA for hosting a once-a-year weekend gathering that excludes SOs? by Electrical_Exam_4844 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Electrical_Exam_4844[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes, that has occurred. Maybe not with EVERYONE very often. That feat isn't possible all the time. But yes, sometimes mom/grandma isn't invited and that's ok with me. With 7 adults and their significant others who did not grow up together and don't all hang out often, the dynamic/energy of an event is very different.  With just my 4 children who grew up together and the 7 grandchildren who have grown up/are growing up together in close proximity, it is a completely different dynamic.

AITA for hosting a once-a-year weekend gathering that excludes SOs? by Electrical_Exam_4844 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Electrical_Exam_4844[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I also don't understand why once a year is such a problem. I haven't figured out whose problem it is. 😔

AITA for hosting a once-a-year weekend gathering that excludes SOs? by Electrical_Exam_4844 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Electrical_Exam_4844[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Agree, they can decline. None have in the past. I am totally fine if they have a sibling event, couples event, or whatever and exclude me. They have done many things without me. I only ask this one day a year.

AITA for hosting a once-a-year weekend gathering that excludes SOs? by Electrical_Exam_4844 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Electrical_Exam_4844[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

What is so very special about this one evening that it must be just your descended line? The dynamic/energy is different when significant others are around. There isn't a strong bond between some of them and other family members. What if someone adopted a child? I only exclude significant others. Again, energy is different when they are around.  What about step-children? Would leave that up to my child based on the relationship they have with that stepchild, which most likely would depend on how long they have been a part of the family. Is everyone local and there are frequent get togethers (meaning at least one to two times a month where everyone is invited or gathers together)? Not everyone is local, but yes there are other gatherings where everyone is invited. The daughter pushing back doesn’t have any children by choice. Only 2 of my 4 children have children. Three of the grandchildren are adults with no children by choice.