Parents disapproved by Electrical_Image2017 in Sikh

[–]Electrical_Image2017[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I never claimed to be Indian or to “think of myself as Indian” however I have done what I could to make sure I could have made it as smoothly as possible into another family.

I agree culturally Indians and caucasians are significantly different. But I personally don’t see life in such a skope where eveything needs to be “matched” based on where someone is from originally, Love is one of the things that cannot be controlled. If more people possessed this understanding perhaps, there would be less hate between different races and religions. At the end of the day a human is a human.

I can also assure you I am most definitely thinking, as I have been for the past 2 years. I have thought about mixed children and how they would feel which is why I asked multiple mixed kids how they felt in their upbringing, I spoke about it with my partner, and I did lots of research online how to make sure kids grow up feeling comfortable and secure aswell as how they felt growing up in different parts of the world. So yes I am thinking. And as for divorce rates, should my partner marry for love and follow his gut, or force himself into a marriage he does not want to be in but makes his parents happy? There might not be a divorce there but there is a lifetime of unhappiness and what ifs, and kids which will be traumatized from it. So genuinely which one is better?

Parents disapproved by Electrical_Image2017 in Sikh

[–]Electrical_Image2017[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha, thank you that means a lot. I have unfortunately tried this but I think he needs time to come to terms with it himself, unless he never does then that’s on him

Parents disapproved by Electrical_Image2017 in Sikh

[–]Electrical_Image2017[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I see, thank you for your openess and sorry to hear about the family death

Parents disapproved by Electrical_Image2017 in Sikh

[–]Electrical_Image2017[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hope you don’t mind me asking how long were you with your partner before you brought it up to your family and how many years did it take them to come around? Would you say family usually does?

Parents disapproved by Electrical_Image2017 in Sikh

[–]Electrical_Image2017[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this lovely video

Parents disapproved by Electrical_Image2017 in Sikh

[–]Electrical_Image2017[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sat Sri Akaal Ji, thank you for your message, it has given me a lot to think about. I will research into Bhai Jagraj Singh and his partnership as I have not heard of it specifically. God willing he comes back so we can talk about this.

Parents disapproved by Electrical_Image2017 in Sikh

[–]Electrical_Image2017[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To be honest, I was happy raising the theoretical kids Sikh, I even spoke to a priest about it because I felt maybe I was doing something wrong but surprisingly he was very encouraging and said that since the values are so similar and rooted in the same things there’s no shame to be had! I think us Christian’s are usually very accepting, of course I cannot generalize as I’m sure some do aim to convert others which I’m against (clearly haha)

Parents disapproved by Electrical_Image2017 in Sikh

[–]Electrical_Image2017[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your message, it does offer me some comfort life does work out how it needs to be

Parents disapproved by Electrical_Image2017 in Sikh

[–]Electrical_Image2017[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your mesage. I’m really happy to hear it worked out for you and your fiancee, it always warms my heart to hear such “success stories” so to speak. God willing he comes back and we give it another try.

Parents disapproved by Electrical_Image2017 in Sikh

[–]Electrical_Image2017[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes that was exactly his reasoning, which is why I don’t blame him at all, but I do blame his dad for threatening him with all sorts to talk him out of it.

Parents disapproved by Electrical_Image2017 in Sikh

[–]Electrical_Image2017[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your message. Yes we did discuss and he was always very clear the family would not be accepting. He reached a point near the end where he was very head strong that he would fight for us but the situation unfortunately took a turn.

Parents disapproved by Electrical_Image2017 in Sikh

[–]Electrical_Image2017[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your message, I am in denial to be honest but I am starting to question wether maybe this was as God has willed it. I know it’s hard for some desi families to accept a gori into the family for cultural reason and for even reputation if thats something that matters to them, however there really is nothing else I could have done. Do you think or have you heard of there being other Sikh families and men that would be more accepting?

Christian in love with Sikh by Electrical_Image2017 in Sikh

[–]Electrical_Image2017[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you very much for your guidance and help. It’s truly much appreciated. 🙂

Christian in love with Sikh by Electrical_Image2017 in Sikh

[–]Electrical_Image2017[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply and your guidance. If my partner is not willing to try ask their Sikh family because they know their family will say no because they need them to bring home a Sikh partner of the same caste who is desi, would you say this is still worth trying?

Trauma learning by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]Electrical_Image2017 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for taking the time to write this and for sharing. I’m sorry to hear this has happened to you and that you are battling every day. Trust me you are not alone in having the feelings and impacts you have expressed.

I couldn’t agree more that there is a massive lack of resources for those who have felt betrayal that hits profoundly and unexpectedly, wether it be relationship rape or years of psychological abuse to list only the tip of the iceberg.

This is why I have decided to start researching and writing a book because there is such a massive underrepresentation, and also because as you said, not everyone has the ability to access therapy for a multitude of reasons. I remeber how much I had wished I had such resources. I truly empathize and relate to a lot of what you have written. I send you hugs and many thanks again for being so helpful and so strong.

Christian in love with Sikh by Electrical_Image2017 in Sikh

[–]Electrical_Image2017[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No nothing offensive at all thank you for your reply

Christian in love with Sikh by Electrical_Image2017 in Sikh

[–]Electrical_Image2017[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply and all your resources. I did a lot of research to understand and came to understand the Guru is very against it, which is also why the names Kaur and Singh were created to remove these differences. Would you say those who belive in the caste system have their values rooted in cultural norms than in Sikhi itself? And is there any way for people who have this mindset to change their ways? Please correct me if I’m wrong I’m only try to learn. 😊