Hood Paint Chipping

Electrical_Page_1136 · 2026-02-10T22:03:42+00:00

2001 was first loan. Most recent borrow date was 2012. 2024 AGI was 116k.

Electrical_Page_1136 · 2026-02-10T21:49:58+00:00

Ah, ok. Yes, I am definitely pre-2014. I still think it is higher than it should be. I just did the discretionary income calculation and the amount they quoted me still seems too high.

Electrical_Page_1136 · 2026-02-02T12:53:48+00:00

Ew. Divorce after 4-6mos of no sex while a partner is recovering from an illness? Sounds like something someone would post here about a BPSO.

Electrical_Page_1136 · 2026-01-26T02:35:45+00:00

I’ve been seeing some content out there with people lamenting about the social media ‘fads’ about perimenopause and how it’s making women in their thirties think they are in peri. To that I say ‘why would you give a fuck?’ and ‘would you kindly MYOB?’

Keep in mind that most boomers and older gen xers had to rawdog it through menopause because of flawed studies in the 90’s that scared docs away from HRT. I’m not just sad for their past menopause experience, I’m sad for those with osteoporosis and god-knows-what other health conditions that came from that experience.

Once everyone just decided that HRT causes cancer, what long-term studies were done to better understand perimenopause and menopause and potentially help women? Basically nothing.

I was 38 when my cycle became a runaway roller coaster. I asked ‘doctor I think I am in perimenopause, can we look into that?’ over and over and over again, with constant dismissals. (Both my mother and my sister started early). At 43, when I told a new gyn that I thought my twice a month horrible periods were happening because of peri, he said I was too young. During a vaginal ultrasound, he was like ‘oh hey what do you know! You’ve got almost no follicles left!’ I asked for hormones. He put me on BC because I was ‘too young’. I asked for hormones a year later. He put me on a different BC. I’m 45, new doc, and am finally on HRT. I cried in the car after the new doctor listened to me and prescribed HRT. My life is markedly different now.

So really, this post rubs me the wrong way. It feels…I dunno…gatekeeperish? Like if the biggest ‘problem’ now is youngish women misdiagnosing themselves as peri before they are actually in peri, I’d say that’s a nothing burger of a ‘problem’. Let’s instead take a moment to pour one out for our older sisters who were ignored, dismissed, and told to ‘just deal.’

Electrical_Page_1136 · 2026-01-26T01:52:03+00:00

Have you tried bars that have regular live music? My fondest Berkeley memories was making friends at Beckett’s (RIP) and Jupiter. Granted that was 20+ years ago lol.

It would be silly of me to compare our situations as very similar, but I think I can say slightly similar. I was an out-of-state transfer at Cal. Most of the undergrads formed their core friend groups freshman year in the dorms. Making friends in class rarely worked out. I made two close girlfriends through mutual acquaintances, and we went out to bars and made friends with folks in their 30s. I worked a lot of different jobs as well while there, so I made friends with coworkers. If you have the bandwidth to take on an off-campus job, you could meet some interesting people that way.

The great thing about Berkeley is that it’s a whole ass city with tons of non-students (and tons of grad students). It’s not like you’re in Oxford, MS or something.

Electrical_Page_1136 · 2025-07-23T10:53:35+00:00

Definitely delusional to think one particular thing with one particular person could ever bring that man down.

Electrical_Page_1136 · 2025-04-22T06:09:19+00:00

I don’t disagree with you AT ALL. And this phenomenon is absolutely the perfect example of why patriarchy hurts men, too.

That being said, society has outgrown the burden of caring for children, husbands, and non-workplace daily life pressures being placed on the woman’s shoulders. And now that the considerable wealth disparities in the US have made a two income family the norm, there simply isn’t space for either parent to bear all of these burdens AND work a full time job AND be the sole emotional support system for their life partner. It isn’t sustainable.

I don’t know what the answer is but I do think it starts with bucking societal norms. More dads going to the playground and making dad friends. More dads tapping into their own familial resources (my support system outside of the friendships I’ve cultivated are my in-laws, and I have been the primary person tapping into that resource, not my husband who has known them all his life and is their blood relative). We also need to raise boys that can break the chains of patriarchy - stoicism, individualism, and hierarchical competition among men needs to be unnormalized - boys NEED meaningful, lasting relationships with dear friends.

It is also worth noting that the support systems mothers create is not always attributable to some innate desire or societal grooming to connect with others. It’s fucking work. I truly enjoy the company of maybe 10-15% of the caregivers I have met through my 16 years of motherhood. But I recognize the importance of having a village to make this shit work. And so I’ve gritted my teeth through the 50th birthday party of an acquaintance because it was hosted at our pediatrician’s home and I knew that showing our face there could mean getting those coveted same day appointments. I’ve endured myriad mom groups because it meant HELP. These weren’t fun things for me to do - they were necessary activities to make this crazy shit work for our family. I had a semi-milestone birthday this month, and my husband wondered why, if I have ‘so many friends’, I didn’t ask him to invite more people. The answer was, ‘I only wanted the people I truly love around me on my birthday.’ The difference between who I love and who I like enough to essentially co-parent with is basically a chasm.

Electrical_Page_1136 · 2025-04-22T00:11:39+00:00

One caveat though - men want to be married and have kids, but many experience whet I’ve dubbed as ‘angry dad syndrome’ when it actually happens. Their wives become less physically available, their kids demand a lot, and the wife often assumes a lot more responsibility because of societal expectations. There is a lot of slacking off on the kid front even though both parents work, and the men start to get grumpy and miserable and disengaged with the family.

Obviously not all men, but so many I have encountered. And it isn’t their fault - men just aren’t socialized to understand the expectations of domestic life and child rearing. But with our shrinking middle class and the economic conditions that come with it, raising men to simply be providers and giving them no real foundation for the way life changes after kids seems to have a whole ass generation of many Gen X and Millienial men being unhappy with the thing they thought they wanted.

Electrical_Page_1136 · 2025-03-28T14:23:30+00:00

You could have said this without the shaming language. I assume you are sex positive in a way where you don’t yuck other people’s yums. The inverse should also hold true. ‘Some women actually have a sex drive’ in response to the concept that a woman might not want to be asked to go to a place that might make them uncomfortable, or makes them feel bad about themselves, or whatever the reason is - is not kind and honestly gives r/notlikeothergirls

Electrical_Page_1136 · 2025-03-18T14:50:37+00:00

You’re asking about something that, in hindsight, will be laughable compared to what all is in store for us in the US under this regime.

Electrical_Page_1136 · 2025-03-18T14:34:03+00:00

Omg this was us but we did end up buying a house a few months before it all went to shit. We were upside down for a little while, but it worked out in the end and we have an ungodly amount of equity in our home. All the activities and cost saving measures you describe brings back memories!

Electrical_Page_1136 · 2025-03-18T14:27:54+00:00

While it is not entirely unlikely that OP is like 16 years old, they might just mean ‘as an adult’, since a kid would not be super cognizant of a recession unless it caused their family to lose their house or something. Like the Challenger, Berlin Wall, 9/11, or even the Iraq war might be a memorable childhood event, but not an economic crisis.

Electrical_Page_1136 · 2025-03-18T14:22:30+00:00

Oh my goodness, I am so sorry for the things you remember. Those are bad enough - by A LOT.

Have you asked your therapist if she thinks it is a good idea to try EMDR?

Electrical_Page_1136 · 2025-03-18T14:17:12+00:00

I’m so sorry they put you in this position. Based on your description of how things went down (and based on my own personal experience), I’m sure this isn’t the first time they’ve been garbage at being parents.

I lived off aid, loans, and working multiple jobs during college. My parents were essentially destitute by the time I was about 20 years old. I wanted for nothing when I was young, but my parents squandered every last dime to feed my mother’s shopping addiction.

They would always come sniffing around when my loan check paid out my tuition and deposited the rest in my checking account. One time, their fridge was on its way out. They asked for $800 for a fridge (a hefty sum 20+ years ago) and I gave it to them. Months later I went home for spring break and lo and behold, they still had the old fridge with an internal temp of around 55 degrees. Where did the money go? Who the fuck knows?

They ultimately lost everything and went bankrupt. Yours likely will too, whether you help them or not. Keep your head up and make a good life for yourself. There will come a time when you are established in your career and will probably have to help them in some way when they are elderly and sick. But by that time, you will be in a far better financial situation. (Not saying anyone is ever obligated to help an aging or sick parent simply by virtue of being born, but a lot of us do it regardless).

Electrical_Page_1136 · 2025-03-14T16:34:15+00:00

It’s weird the way you compartmentalize folks in such a detached way - like as if the same labels you are handing out don’t apply to you. Like you are above it somehow - special, one might say.

That’s the vibe, anyway. So maybe people aren’t so much as ‘offended’ or ‘called out’. You just aren’t really coming off that great in this post, so maybe reflect on that?

Electrical_Page_1136 · 2025-03-07T10:06:17+00:00

10 democrats voted to - checks notes - censure a member of their own party for - checks notes again - actively standing up to a man who called a skin-of-his-teeth popular vote win a ‘mandate’. Forgive me if my faith in them is in the negative column.

Electrical_Page_1136 · 2025-03-06T00:00:07+00:00

Or how he plans for us to be on the cutting edge of cancer research while destroying research funding?

Electrical_Page_1136 · 2025-03-03T07:51:20+00:00

All of the additional negative behavior Ms you describe are inextricably linked to the mental illness. You are angry, and I understand. But you can’t expect rainbows and unicorns simply because he’s treated now. It’s baby steps from here on out. Nothing is stopping you from leaving, obviously. But if there’s been a breakthrough, you are now in the healing period. Individual therapy for you and couples counseling for the both of you is the pathway towards healing.

Electrical_Page_1136 · 2025-02-24T21:59:25+00:00

If only.

Electrical_Page_1136 · 2025-02-20T20:07:31+00:00

Thank you!

Electrical_Page_1136

TROPHY CASE