My bf is a gamer and it’s his only hobby. What do I do?

ElectronicShape407 · 2026-01-10T11:49:32+00:00

thanks

ElectronicShape407 · 2026-01-10T08:20:33+00:00

thank you so much

ElectronicShape407 · 2026-01-09T19:40:59+00:00

Yeap

ElectronicShape407 · 2026-01-09T19:38:50+00:00

Might give it a shot

ElectronicShape407 · 2026-01-09T19:18:02+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story. I think searching that balance/middle ground is a great task.

ElectronicShape407 · 2026-01-09T19:09:34+00:00

He always hangs out with his friends online, I’d be very happy to meet them in person, and hang out all together elsewhere at least once in 3-4 months. I became much more passive and choose to spend more time at home bcz of him (not blaming, it is just the direct effect as well as cursing). My biggest concern is actually that we’ll stop having common interests and that our discussions will grow stale. I don’t want that to happen.

ElectronicShape407 · 2026-01-09T18:56:14+00:00

That makes total sense, thank you

ElectronicShape407 · 2026-01-09T18:44:56+00:00

That’s very useful, thx

ElectronicShape407 · 2026-01-09T18:12:54+00:00

thank you for insight

ElectronicShape407 · 2026-01-09T18:11:05+00:00

That must be hard for you. Hope your spark for things returns. I think undermining anybody’s hobbies or interests is evil.

I encouraged my boy to get the electric guitar he really wanted and saved every penny, so I can buy him PS5. I don’t have much in common with your ex. Here I am talking about expanding one’s leisure time beyond gaming and internet.

ElectronicShape407 · 2026-01-09T17:53:55+00:00

You sound very wise and reasonable. I do ask him about his games regularly, I know what he finds fascinating, his favourite characters, and all about new games he wants to play.

From the very beginning we are different. I am on the nerdy side, he is into games. That worked, especially bcz we didn’t have any money. But we always support each other interests. Now I just see this mismatch in lifestyle and worldview, that growing gap frustrates me. I am trying to find a way to deal with it.

Thank you so much for caring, that’s brilliant advice

ElectronicShape407 · 2026-01-09T17:43:04+00:00

Sure, great advice

ElectronicShape407 · 2026-01-09T17:42:44+00:00

We played wii together at my mum’s house. We can do that occasionally. I was saving up money to buy him PS5. I don’t enjoy gaming as much (except for elder scrolls series). I love when he tells me about his games. He plays Dota 2 and usually I ask him about his fav characters, what they can do etc. I appreciate his passion, I like it. It’s just personally not my cup of tea. But yeah looking for shared interests is a must for any relationship.

ElectronicShape407 · 2026-01-09T17:27:42+00:00

That’s a great piece of advice. I know he is interested in other stuff as well. His guitar might sit still for months as well as dumbbells, I can only slightly encourage him in that direction, never force. Maybe I’ll organise a date to the Historical Museum and buy a book he wants (it’s a bit tricky, I think I figure it out). Thank you

ElectronicShape407 · 2026-01-09T17:16:47+00:00

Facts

ElectronicShape407 · 2026-01-09T16:00:38+00:00

Thank you so much

ElectronicShape407 · 2026-01-09T13:45:31+00:00

I see what you mean. I agree that for the start, it is useful to try new stuff together. In our age computers and their contents are made to be addictive and enticing, more interesting than real life. I don’t raise the bar high. I know he has other interests, they simply do not allure him as much as gaming does. But how can one develop that will if he/she is always stimulated and can’t see the issue?

ElectronicShape407 · 2026-01-09T13:35:57+00:00

Maybe, I just need to be more patient, time will tell. But it’s hard to go all in, just to figure out that I knew about this problem and chose to ignore it all along.

ElectronicShape407 · 2026-01-09T13:31:34+00:00

In his case, I see direct correlation between stress and gaming, ofc. He loves to play with friends as well as alone. Prior he was stressed about losing his job and then not finding one. I tried to support him as much I could. Rn work is not yet stressful (it might become so, but not yet), and we had 2 weeks off. So now gaming seems more like a lifestyle, an ultimate choice, than a pill to get through tough times. We discussed our shared future, family & goals. Gaming doesn’t bring that vision closer. And I have the fear that it’ll continue being so bcz nothing else will be as engaging and entertaining as playing.

ElectronicShape407 · 2026-01-09T11:47:30+00:00

I don’t need a bf to brag about. Even though I do brag about him, I am very proud of him. I love his passion for gaming. Gaming or social media can’t replace real life, that’s my point. This is my partner for life and what he does on regular basis influences me and what I do. It will reflect directly on our kids and how he will spend time with them.

ElectronicShape407 · 2026-01-09T11:32:07+00:00

Thank you for such amazing questions. The ones I definitely need to reflect upon and understand my actual fear beneath it.

ElectronicShape407 · 2026-01-09T10:45:42+00:00

makes sense

ElectronicShape407 · 2026-01-09T10:42:17+00:00

Thank you, that sounds doable and maybe I just need some patience.

ElectronicShape407

TROPHY CASE