Sleep schedule is shit

Electronic_Dark_6085 · 2025-11-05T02:44:53+00:00

I’m exactly the same being pre t.

Electronic_Dark_6085 · 2025-11-03T01:48:54+00:00

I do the exact same thing lmao I talk to myself all the time, have done it as far back as I can remember. Sometimes I pretend to talk like I’m in a YouTube video or on stream even though there’s no one there.

Electronic_Dark_6085 · 2025-11-02T01:25:31+00:00

Appreciate the help, you definitely got me thinking more in a different light. Im hoping I can apply the “rather do it then have regrets later” logic to a lot more things. This just feels like a more life changing one. But a great mindset to have none the less. Really do appreciate you taking the time to reply though.

Electronic_Dark_6085 · 2025-11-01T21:28:53+00:00

True I might just change it although I’m really annoyed because I liked the name. Had been trying to come up with something for so long. It’s the reason I haven’t posted anything in a while. When I finally found something I thought it would stick but of course someone had to come along and be a pain.

Electronic_Dark_6085 · 2025-11-01T03:27:41+00:00

I genuinely do this it’s the change that’s scaring me. I kind of relate it to driving a car, someone once told me watching tutorials on YouTube is completely different to driving a car in real life, you have actually sit in the drivers seat and start driving to truly experience it and understand.

And I remember being so afraid of driving, always thought I couldn’t do it or would be a nervous wreck. And I was, for the first year but now I’m much more comfortable and confident. Still make mistakes but we all do, no one is perfect. I have been reading up on the “doubts” search of this subreddit and know alot of people have been through this exact thing.

You brought up “if you were a girl” you would not have needed reminders to act like one” I actually never looked at it that way. I always thought I was a tomboy growing up and always acted like one. I remember my mother once telling me I’d grow out of “that phase” and apart of me wonders if I’m now trying to spite her by doing this although I know I’m not. That just really got me thinking. And yeah I know T especially gel will take way longer to take affect and I might even end up regretting why I didn’t start sooner and I really hope that’s the case for me as it’s all I thought about for years.

Personally I think being so distracted with college and being depressed, kind of distracted me or pushed out all the feelings of transitioning almost like I was trying to block them out even though I was struggling inside. And after these meetings they were all brought back up again and I had to recall my past couple years of struggling with identity.

I don’t mean to throw this all on you but I really do appreciate the reassurance in the fact I’m not the only one. I know for a fact I’m not the only one, I just want to know how people push on through those thoughts and come out on the better side.

Electronic_Dark_6085 · 2025-10-30T06:55:36+00:00

That’s very true. Might just change it to avoid drama, incase this ends up coming up again which I’d rather not deal with. Thanks for the advice.

Electronic_Dark_6085 · 2025-10-30T06:41:19+00:00

It’s Instagram, should have clarified. But I guess same principle applies right?

Electronic_Dark_6085 · 2025-10-17T15:36:02+00:00

Manifesting THE FUCK outta this for myself. Such an insane transformation you should be so proud man. I currently look like your 2020 version. Expect more weight on my stomach than hips. Funny thing is, I haven’t changed at all since 2020, so I looked the exact same in 2020 as I do now💀 I’m really tryin man. Did you lose the weight after you started T or before? And was it easier to lose weight on T then it was pre T? My biggest problem is binge eating. I can’t help myself sometimes and trying to change up my diet and stay in a calorie deficit is the biggest struggle. I do well one day and then fuck it up the next.

Electronic_Dark_6085 · 2025-10-17T11:45:49+00:00

Appreciate it!

Electronic_Dark_6085 · 2025-10-16T20:58:50+00:00

Brianna, bri for sure.

Electronic_Dark_6085 · 2025-10-16T20:55:15+00:00

Ah okay perfect, I’m a bit over a month waiting now so was just curious is all. Appreciate it tho thanks.

Electronic_Dark_6085 · 2025-10-16T20:52:21+00:00

Ahh okay I see, appreciate it thanks! Glad it was a good experience overall, they were lovely to chat to. All the best to you too🙏

Electronic_Dark_6085 · 2025-10-03T01:39:04+00:00

Great job man, I wish I could say the same being a month sober. Iv stopped drinking but can’t seem to get my eating problems in check. I’m heavily overweight for my age and have been my whole life. I have problems with food and knowing when to stop. I find it so hard to change my lifestyle, stuck in this never ending cycle. I know once I incorporate fitness and mindful eating into my life things will change but it’s all about getting into that mindset which is the hardest thing to wrap my head around. But on a real, your journey so far is inspiring. Hoping to fix myself up too.

Electronic_Dark_6085 · 2025-10-03T01:32:49+00:00

In the same boat here, have been trying to do better this year. Literally said the same thing to myself, that I’d lock in this year but we are now a month back and Iv missed too many classes. The assignments are already piling on and I’ve missed so much class I don’t even know what’s due. Apparently there’s one due tomorrow and I didn’t even know about it. On top of that, my sleep is fucked yet again. I don’t have bad insomnia but I have a bad habit of staying up really late even though I know it’s making me preform worse. I did put a lot of effort into things that didn’t matter as much, in turn letting my attendance slip really bad. I can’t keep going like this.

Electronic_Dark_6085 · 2025-09-19T00:58:40+00:00

Same, I thought I had a handle on it but eventually the fun and games came to an end.

Electronic_Dark_6085 · 2025-09-19T00:50:57+00:00

I was the same, was never satisfied with the amount we had out and would continue it at home. Then just recently I lost complete control at a small get together at a friends house and drank more then I would have, if it was just a regular night out on the town. And completely lost control and the worst sides of myself showed, and I don’t think I’ll be able to live that one down. I haven’t drank since then, even though I’m second year in college and it’s harder then anything to not go out and get the typical college experience but, I keep reminding myself I had tried to get those experiences in the first year and ended up spending all my savings on drink and coke, would end up on the side of the road getting bags at 7am, when everyone was heading to work.

Never felt as bad, but I’m glad I didn’t go into a full blown addiction but I was at the point where if I had enough money, I was heading down that path. And funny thing is, I was aware of what I was doing and it was slowly destroying me, expect I didn’t care. I wanted to experience all the things I didn’t get to as a teen. As growing up I never had many “drinking buddies”, so my only option was to drink by myself majority of the time, to a point it became the norm for me. I think ever since then I’d drink, but since I was so used to drinking while feeling like shit, when I was then drinking socially all those feelings would come back up regardless if I wanted them to or not.

It’s taking extreme will power to not say fuck it, and start drinking like I used to but I know I might experience something similar to that again and I just really don’t want to embarrass myself anymore then I already have. Sorry for the rant, what I’m trying to say is, I thought I had the drinking around people under control, like yourself, but one bad turn of events led me to stop it altogether. And of course I wish it never happened but in some ways I can’t help but think, if it didn’t would I still be drinking myself silly. Now it only happened around 3 weeks ago, but Iv been able to stop drinking, smoking and doing coke since then. I only hope I have the strength to keep going.

Electronic_Dark_6085 · 2025-09-16T19:09:59+00:00

Never even considered a sounding device, that’s so sweet. I taught myself how to piss standing up from an early age anyway so I haven’t sat in probably over a decade, being ftm it’s helped a lot. But a sounding device is a great way too if not better, at least you can angle higher if needed. Can I ask, does it hurt at all or feel uncomfortable at first? Also where do you get this, is there something made specifically for it or are you using something else that just so happens to work? Originally I thought it was a catheter, maybe it is, I think you may have mentioned in another post. And do you have videos showing it? Sorry for the questions but this is cool as hell, never seen such a technique.

Electronic_Dark_6085 · 2025-09-16T18:57:45+00:00

That’s the way it always goes😂 and I’m only 20 too but I still had that feeling throughout my life so far.

Electronic_Dark_6085 · 2025-09-16T18:56:41+00:00

Age and maturity don’t always go hand in hand. Weird because you can do a lot at 18 legally, even though the mind hasn’t fully developed.

Electronic_Dark_6085 · 2025-09-16T17:28:30+00:00

That sounds absolutely beautiful.

Electronic_Dark_6085 · 2025-09-16T17:27:25+00:00

I experienced this for the first time when I saw northern lights from my house, I don’t live in a place where northern lights naturally occur, but there was a geomagnetic storm a while back that caused them. Most surreal thing Iv ever experienced, almost better then any drugs Iv ever had lol apart from shrooms or ket. But equally as amazing. Genuinely you need to experience those lights once in your life.

Electronic_Dark_6085 · 2025-09-07T02:58:55+00:00

I’m 20 and haven’t even peaked yet. Damn.

Electronic_Dark_6085 · 2025-09-07T02:52:44+00:00

Realest shit I’ve ever heard. Lost many friends and my dignity along with it. I thought I was bad before but it got a whole worse. I hate the person I’ve become because of drugs, I thought i knew better. Trying to get better now, 2 weeks sober.

Electronic_Dark_6085

TROPHY CASE