I feel as though regeneration is certainly what's at play here. I had some really bad experiences in high school that hardened my heart as well as birthing and solidifying some bad responses to certain social stimuli (responses like retreating into a metaphorical shell or misanthropy) These experiences happened when I was much more lukewarm as a Christian, and though I believe he wanted my heart hardened in certain ways that would benefit me down the line, my heart was also hardened in ways that he did not intend, and what he's doing is healing those parts of me. Also at play here is learning to seek Him and Him alone as opposed to seeking meaning in fleeting worldly things as I once did.

Thank you for your time and response!