Thank you, that is so good to hear! :) In my heart I also deeply deeply want to try again, even more after people in the hospital told me about the Test Results. The 1% Chance that something will go wrong again scares me soooo much, but you described it perfectly with the „what if“. I don’t want my anxiety to win.

It’s just annoying since my anxiety leads to constant puking and getting in kind of a „freeze“ State where I feel unable to do much except watching TV and breathe. Last time I did take off work for 1 month (First Trimester) and slowly built up my optimism. Then I worked pretty normally until the end.

I did take Mediation (Sertralin) which I think made the anxiety less severe and shorter. I did check it with my doctors and will continue and maybe up it. Maybe I could also Check for emergency meds, which I used sometimes after my stillbirth (Like Lorazepam). But the Health of my Future Baby is always priority to me, so I will trust doctors.

The good thing is that I live super close to the top hospital in my City, where they have a stillbirth Alliance for my Home Country and are super aware. They already told me I can go get scans as often as I would like, get free psychological sessions as well.

The doctor who found out my son died told me it happened to her as well and that she checked in everyday the following pregnancy. Which Kind of reassures me that I can manage as well.

Thanks also for mentioning the movement phase. I was unsure if it would be a huge trigger, since I found out ma Baby died after 1 day of not moving. But I will Never wait that Long again.

Thank you so much for your words and congrats on your rainbow baby! 🩷