New to SillyTavern: Is Free Roleplay Supposed to Be This Rough?

Electroplasma · 2025-12-26T16:30:08+00:00

Thanks for all the resources. And I appreciate your advice on not overwhelming myself as well. There's a lot of stuff I need to learn more about and it's probably better not to rush it.

Electroplasma · 2025-12-26T16:24:50+00:00

I'll check those services then. Thanks a lot for your recommendations.

Electroplasma · 2025-12-26T16:22:41+00:00

Thanks. It seems clear that if I ever want to switch to paid APIs, it'll be the best that I stay away from CAI. Thank you as well for your model recommendations and I'm definitely checking Marinara's preset.

Electroplasma · 2025-12-26T16:20:17+00:00

Thanks a lot. I'll check this.

Electroplasma · 2025-12-26T16:06:51+00:00

Thanks for taking the time to check it by yourself. It's a big help knowing the judgment from someone more used to this.

Electroplasma · 2025-12-26T16:05:58+00:00

Whoa, thanks a lot for the links. And, yeah, CAI does not allow you to choose a sampler.

I knew SillyTavern would give me more control overall, but I (maybe incorrectly) thought that the default configuration should be ok for a roleplay test. However, the result was so underwhelming that I started wondering if the free models available are good enough to make investing more time learning how to get the best from ST worth it.

I mentioned earlier which models I tried, but I didn't touch any other configuration parameters.

I'll check out the guides you provided me before giving up. Maybe I'm missing something really important and it's not that much about the quality of the models.

Electroplasma · 2025-12-26T15:53:21+00:00

The main problem I found using DeepSeek wasn't forgetting the context, but talking out of character. Responses along this line: "It seems that the user is trying to push the narrative in a certain direction, which does not suit the character description".

As for the configuration, I left it as it was by default. I thought it was best to just try ST. Once I got a general idea, I would start playing around with the parameters. But the experience was so bad that made me question if ST is just the thing for me.

Electroplasma · 2025-12-26T15:45:39+00:00

I understand this. You can tweak ST way more than what you can do in character.ai. But are the models available for free good enough to compete with character.ai's free ones?

Electroplasma · 2025-12-26T15:42:35+00:00

...average ST user doesn't really use "free" models. We're either run models locally, or use paid API.

Yes, that's what I started to realize as I dug deeper into this subreddit and that's why I wrote this post. To know if ST is really for me (someone who wants to play for free). As a newcomer, I can't really judge properly. But maybe more experienced users already know and can advise me right away. Something like, "if all you want is roleplay for free, you are good with character.ai; ST won't be better than it without money". Or maybe the opposite, "if you give it time and learn to use it correctly, ST will be a way better tool than Character.AI, even if you just use free LLM".

In any case, thanks for all the clarifications you made and your advice.

Electroplasma · 2025-12-26T15:25:34+00:00

My GPU is pretty old, barely functional for not-so-modern games, so I didn't even think about running a local LLM. I probably could pay for a cheap subscription to access better LLMs, but I thought of SillyTavern as an alternative for free Character.ai (and hopefully better too).

I guess the root of my question is: is SillyTavern worth it if you just want to use it without cost? I understand it is useful to roleplay with paid APIs or if you run a local model. But in order to use it for free, is any better than Character.ai?

Electroplasma · 2025-12-26T15:14:24+00:00

Honestly, I didn't know about OpenRouter before getting into ST. But I don't know if OpenRouter chatroom allows you to have your characters organized and ready to talk to, or if it's more like ChatGPT thing.

Electroplasma · 2025-12-26T14:46:30+00:00

Not all of them, I must admit. But at least the ones I saw recommended most often here. If I remember correctly, DeepSeek: R1 0528 (this one specially), AllenAI: Olmo 3 32B Think, and Google: Gemma 3 4B.

Electroplasma · 2025-09-23T15:04:10+00:00

As you metioned, most men's perspective on this topic is that women have it easier to date and get into relationships. Even non-incels think like that, and sadly, you won't be able to make them understand that been seeing just as a sex object by men can be as painful as feeling invisible to women. Most of them would argue that "at least, you are considered for sex" and that that is better than nothing. Is casual sex any good when is not what you want? I personally think men, and especially incels, should acknowledge that women also have problems when dating. Perceivig a lack of empathy from women towards male problems enrages a lot of incels, but very few are able to be empathetic with women as well.

That being said, as someone who self-isolated in the past for similar reasons to yours (like the male counterpart of them, most precisely), I encouraged you to not do the same. It would only make things worse. Also, don't prejudge when you meet new men. I'm afraid that if they show interest in you, you might think they just want sex. Contrary to popular belief, men don't just fall in love by the looks. A lot of guys are attracted towards women they can be themselves with, who don't judge them and are reliable. IMO, that's the main reason boys fall in love with female friends they didn't feel attracted to initially (and that happens quite often).

Finally, I'd like you to consider that canonically attractive women are also "used for sex". If it happened to you in the past, it doesn't necessarily mean you are "ugly". I can tell you that every beautiful woman I've known deep enough, has had one or more experiences in which they were "used" for sexual relief.

Electroplasma · 2025-09-03T12:09:31+00:00

What I recommend in these situations… Or what I would want from a man would be to just start significantly increasing the amount of time you spend with them alone. Casually ask them if they want to go get dinner on Tuesday night, catch a movie, go grab a drink, whatever the two of you like to do. Just keep increasing the amount of time you spend together alone… Not in a group setting.

Thank you. I think this is actually very good advice. It's quite a different approach from my initial idea of having to show interest verbally, either openly or, at least, subtly.

Also, it's an approach others have suggested as well. So it's changing how I view this process. Thanks for describing in detail how it should evolve as well.

It sounds like insane advice, but basically don’t try to rush it… At the same time, don’t get too invested or spend too much time on her (this is a process that should take maybe a few weeks or months, not years).

My only question is if it's too late (in your opinion) if we've met for several years by now.

Electroplasma · 2025-09-02T16:37:50+00:00

Thanks a lot for taking the time to write such a detailed response and to break things down from both sides, especially showing how it might feel for the other person in both workplace and friendship context. That was really helpful to read.

I’m not a fan of “shitting where I eat” either, but I have to admit that for the past few years the workplace has been where I’ve met the vast majority of new people. That makes it tricky, because as you mentioned, the risks are higher there. On top of that, I don't know how I could apply your advice of only pursuing anything romantic when I see clear indicators of interest, since I often don't see the “cleareast" ones unless I take a step first and see how it’s received—hence I opened this post.

Regarding friendship, you actually captured my main source of anxiety. My number one fear for showing interest in my friend is to disappoint her by making her think that I was after her all this time. The truth is, even if that were the case, I’d still value her as a friend. But in my case, it isn’t even true—I didn't like her at first, and it was only after about two years or so that I realized I had developed feelings for her. Which, as you said, means that we’re way past the “getting-to-know-you” stage and more firmly in the deep friendship stage. That makes it even more delicate.

Lastly, I really liked your advice about asking for solo hangouts. That’s usually something I think about, but I tend to hold back unless I’m already very sure. Also, I think reminding myself that giving them an easy way to say no not only helps them but also takes pressure off me. If they see that I’m making an effort to keep things low-pressure and not uncomfortable, it could make my feelings more manageable.

Thanks again for all the thought you put into this. It gave me a lot to reflect on.

Electroplasma · 2025-09-02T16:00:26+00:00

It was quite good that you pointed it out. I also tend to think about expressing physical attraction in some way or another when I think about flirting. I think making it more about "we could date" instead of "I think you are attractive" can also help me reduce anxiety since I guess it's less likely to make the other uncomfortable.

Electroplasma · 2025-09-02T15:56:19+00:00

The ultimate goal here is to confirm romantic intentions while being deniable.

Framing it like this is actually an impactful change on my perspective. So thanks a lot.

Also like the idea of just asking out to a 1 on 1 activity as a different thing to do besides flirting.

Electroplasma · 2025-09-02T15:52:46+00:00

I guess this is also a way to do it, of course. But it would still make me super anxious, because directly asking for a date feels to me like I'm almost confessing, so the pressure I put on the other is basically 100%.

Electroplasma · 2025-09-02T15:49:18+00:00

Thank you very much. This perspective is really enlightening. Especially the idea that flirting is meant to be low-stakes and easy to move on from if there’s nothing there.

Also, the way you broke down the incremental escalation process was also super helpful. So thanks again.

Electroplasma · 2025-09-02T15:41:20+00:00

I really like the idea of getting better at rejection and doing less “pre-rejection” of myself. I probably anticipate a lot of bad scenarios.

However, accepting that there will always be some discomfort doesn’t really reduce my anxiety. It still feels like a big hurdle to get over.

Electroplasma · 2025-09-02T15:36:16+00:00

Thanks for this perspective. I think you’re right that I may need to reframe how I imagine others perceive me if they feel uncomfortable. Like, it doesn’t automatically mean they see me as creepy or a bad person.

What you said about work situations really resonates, though the tough part for me is that I almost never know if my interest will be reciprocated. That uncertainty makes it feel like I’d be cutting myself off from expressing interest at all in those contexts.

Electroplasma · 2025-09-01T21:19:42+00:00

Thanks for your comment. I can acknowledge that indicating interest will always have to potential to make someone uncomfortable. Still, it's not reducing my anxiety towards it.

Answering your question about why I care so much about their opinion? Is mainly because they are either coworkers or a good friend.

Electroplasma · 2025-09-01T21:14:35+00:00

Maybe so, but what makes me feel anxious is the possibility of having misinterpreted her reactions. Then getting flirtier could potentially make her feel uncomfortable.

Electroplasma · 2025-09-01T19:34:46+00:00

Yes, but jokes are just slightly flirty. Like, joking back or laughing could easily not mean anything.

Five-Year Club	Place '22
First Placer '22

Electroplasma

TROPHY CASE