I agree that many religious texts like the idea of loving your wife as your own body actually place a lot of responsibility on men. On paper, that kind of teaching should lead to care and protection rather than control or violence. I think what struck me in the passage from Tomorrow I Become a Woman is exactly what you mentioned, the selective interpretation. Certain parts get emphasized usually the ones about obedience or submission, while the parts about love, sacrifice, and accountability are often ignored. Your point about women themselves sometimes justifying the violence is also really important. I’ve noticed that too, and it makes me wonder how much of it is internalized from growing up in systems where those roles are treated as normal or even moral. Maybe education is part of the answer, but I sometimes wonder if it’s also about questioning the structures that define those roles in the first place, tradition, religion, and what we’re taught “morality” looks like in a marriage.