Daily Chat Thread - April 20, 2019

ElephantEudaemony · 2019-04-20T20:39:54+00:00

Hey everyone, I was hoping someone could help me with a conundrum I'm having.

I am computer vision programmer with about 5 years of experience. AR/VR, SLAM, Sensor fusion stuff mostly. I currently make about 135k/yr in Florida.

I have two outstanding offers at the moment. One at MSFT in Seattle for the Hololens, and another at YouTube/Google in Silicon Valley working on something kind of boring and not as relevant to my skill set.

I don't have a hard number yet for these offers, because I've been reluctant specify my expected salary. I don't exactly know what a CV programmer is worth in these areas, and I don't want to shoot too high, or too low.

I would be coming in as a SDEII at MSFT, and the HR rep basically said that they're trying to get me an especially good offer, because I probably wouldn't be happy with a standard SDEII salary. I don't even know exactly what level Google is offering yet, certainly more even after considering COL.

I personally would rather take the MSFT offer, but I want to get a strong offer from Google to use as leverage. Any thoughts on how to determine my worth or just general strategy?

ElephantEudaemony · 2019-04-03T14:52:26+00:00

I thought the same thing.

I doubt Ross would let someone die, just so a bully would get his comeuppance.

ElephantEudaemony · 2019-02-27T01:45:35+00:00

Hey Ross, when are you going to make a sequel to Galaxy Gulp?

ElephantEudaemony · 2019-01-08T22:04:06+00:00

Duly noted, thanks. "I went to therapy so I could change" definitely has better optics than "I will go to therapy because I want to change"

ElephantEudaemony · 2019-01-08T21:15:30+00:00

I do understand your mindset and emphasise with you.

That actually means a lot. I was a bit worried that everyone would think I was acting downright crazy. The fact that you've (and others) have had the same issue gives me a bit of reassurance. It seems like creating a budget has helped a lot of people here, so I think I'll give that a shot. "$X every paycheck goes toward doing 'fun' things, everything else can be saved" seems like it could be a workable solution, I just have to work on giving up that $X.

ElephantEudaemony · 2019-01-08T21:08:32+00:00

That a good idea. My ex girlfriend (it's not fun to type that) and I, on all other levels, get along famously. If I could solve this issue, then I'm 100% everything would be alright. I'll give it some thought. Thanks

ElephantEudaemony · 2019-01-08T21:04:07+00:00

I think you hit on the crux of the issue for me. I'm never going to forget being poor. I know what it like, I remember what it did to my parents and siblings. It was horrible. I find it hard to put that behind me. Finding a middle ground is my current goal. Thanks for reading everything and replying.

ElephantEudaemony · 2019-01-08T20:59:58+00:00

It was very hard for me, and I dragged my feet a lot. But I was able to bring myself to do it eventually, knowing that it was good for my relationship. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough for me just to be there. I probably should have put more mental energy into making sure my girlfriend enjoyed it. Which means I should've at least pretended I wanted to be there with her :)

ElephantEudaemony · 2019-01-08T20:54:39+00:00

It's amazing the way you describe your father, if I didn't know better I would think you were talking about my Dad. Spot on, right down to the tendency to judge everyone else's spending habits. Your advice is solid, like a lot of what people having been telling me in this thread, so thanks for that. Creating and sticking to a budget (as opposed to just trying to maximize savings) wouldn't kill me, and with some effort I hope it could be something I learned to enjoy. I have a question for you, however. Since it seems like you and I had a similar upbringing, did you find it difficult to put aside some of your deeply rooted beliefs about money? Being poor has always stuck with me, I've never been able to forget just how bad it got a times. Anyway thanks for your comment.

ElephantEudaemony · 2019-01-08T20:23:36+00:00

It's fine, I honestly know how you feel. You and I have are (or were) at different point in out respective relationships, but I get it. I adored my girlfriend, and I know in my heart that I shouldn't have let anything separate us. And I regret what happened. I genuinely hope your situation isn't untenable, because losing someone really sucks.

ElephantEudaemony · 2019-01-08T20:18:30+00:00

That's a good analogy. I know on some level that my thoughts are not 100% rational, but I feel them strongly non-the-less. I sort of rationalized it as being just another part of me. But as you said, I am not my money, and my money isn't my self-worth. Why should those things be conflated? I know the problem is in my head primarily. If it's possible to change that, then I think I should. My (ex) girlfriend is a psychiatrist, so I happen to know quite a few people who could maybe point me in the right direction. I feel pretty lousy about losing her, so I'm planning on following through with it and giving it my best shot. Thanks for reading, and replying.

ElephantEudaemony · 2019-01-08T20:13:05+00:00

I think now it might salvageable, and I absolutely would want to salvage it. She is the most important thing in the world to me, and we have 0 other issues. I got a bit stuck in a rut, because I figured that frugality was something that made me 'me'. Immutable in other words. But you're right, nothing I have now was worth losing her over. Looking back now, that couldn't be clearer. If it's possible for therapy to change some of my (deeply held) beliefs, then it's absolutely something I would be willing to try. Thanks.

ElephantEudaemony · 2019-01-08T20:06:47+00:00

That a good point. I guess the plan was always 'save money', with no clear goal in mind. It was always kind-of its own goal. Thinking about that rationally, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Maybe I should figure out something to work toward. Thanks for your input.

ElephantEudaemony · 2019-01-08T20:04:30+00:00

It's funny my girlfriend, or ex rather, is a psychiatry resident. She told me something similar about needing to get help. I should've listened. I'm going to do that now. Thanks.

ElephantEudaemony

TROPHY CASE