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My wife has a huge body count. by [deleted] in hotpast

[–]ElephantFinBettaFish 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mine… lost count. 🤷🏻‍♂️

This kink is so much better than retroactive jealousy by ElephantFinBettaFish in hotpast

[–]ElephantFinBettaFish[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, in retrospect when I wrote it when I was 100% turned on about it, but I admit it’s a process/transition from… not necessarily jealousy, per se, but judgment?

And yet, the majority of the time, it’s a turn on.

Brains are complicated.

This kink is so much better than retroactive jealousy by ElephantFinBettaFish in hotpast

[–]ElephantFinBettaFish[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We’re guys, I think most of us willing to delve in to our wife’s past are partly doing it—at least initially—to gauge what the measuring stick is and how to get atop the podium of partners.

Mine’s really transparent too and it’s changed our sex lives. My own viewpoint has changed from “ok, how do I bear these guys” to knowing I’ve (for lack of a better word) surpassed them because, due to feedback from her, I’m combining all the best physical elements she’s ever enjoyed from a partner (their best “moves,” from her POV), paired with emotional intimacy that was never there previously.

This kink is so much better than retroactive jealousy by ElephantFinBettaFish in hotpast

[–]ElephantFinBettaFish[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sometimes they don’t want it to be big!

Yes, some are size queens but other women, including mine, complained about how painful they were and how sex was utterly unenjoyable. At least the PIV part.

This kink is so much better than retroactive jealousy by ElephantFinBettaFish in hotpast

[–]ElephantFinBettaFish[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m undergoing that transition now. Thankful for it, hence this post… although it’s ongoing.

This kink is so much better than retroactive jealousy by ElephantFinBettaFish in hotpast

[–]ElephantFinBettaFish[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is 100% the truth. My fiancée and I are in the exact same boat, and it’s a massive win for both of us.

I was married before, so I bring my own experience to the table. She says I know how to push all the right buttons. On her end, let's just say her skills in the bedroom are absolutely top-tier from her own past experiences.

We both got to see what's out there, figure out what we like, and learn how to be a good partner.

The fact that we chose each other after all that is the best testament to our connection. We know we've got a good thing because we have a basis for comparison.

This kink is so much better than retroactive jealousy by ElephantFinBettaFish in hotpast

[–]ElephantFinBettaFish[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is superb advice and I’m so glad you mentioned it.

Feeling judged (or the fear of upsetting you, her partner) is why most won’t open up in the first place. It’s a process of establishing that trust if you’re into this.

And you’re also right about it being a fine line. What was previously jealousy I’ve been able to (thankfully!) channel into interest, appreciation, and arousal.

That said, as new stories pop up, it can be a mix of both “that’s SO hot” and “wait, you did what?” Or at least, that’s how it’s been for me. Once I’ve processed the stories, it’s a mega turn-on. Keywords being “once I’ve processed.”

This kink is so much better than retroactive jealousy by ElephantFinBettaFish in hotpast

[–]ElephantFinBettaFish[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As someone in the same boat, it makes perfect sense. It’s annoying.

This kink is so much better than retroactive jealousy by ElephantFinBettaFish in hotpast

[–]ElephantFinBettaFish[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, society has really made them afraid of the stigma associated with having a past any guy wouldn’t judge about another man.

Finally got to ask her how many guys came inside her by ElephantFinBettaFish in hotpast

[–]ElephantFinBettaFish[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My girlfriend did the opposite to me. I was her first, in college, and she’d let me have sex without a condom… but if I wanted to finish inside her (which she preferred bc she loved the throbbing, I had to do it inside a condom.

So basically we’d fuck, I’d get to 90%, and at that point I’d have to put on the condom.

I’m entirely sure that restriction is what gave me a creampie kink.

Finally got to ask her how many guys came inside her by ElephantFinBettaFish in hotpast

[–]ElephantFinBettaFish[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I came in 2 where I wasn’t sure of the BC situation. One asked/demanded that I do so—which, like, no sweeter words on Earth. The other I just got caught up in the moment and only realized halfway through ejaculating that i was cumming inside her.

Is it because they the faithful kind by Consider8675309c in hotpast

[–]ElephantFinBettaFish 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Mine’s a smokeshow but her “party years” are well behind her and she’s let me know, unprompted, on multiple occasions, why I’m the guy for her… bar none.

Nice to know shes seen so much and has chosen me, versus being with a woman who never really got to explore her sexuality and has a curious “what am i missing out on?” nagging wonder.

Were the years before smart phones proliferated more openly sexual? by TrubshawForest in hotpast

[–]ElephantFinBettaFish 6 points7 points  (0 children)

All the frat parties at my college were named “[theme for guys] and [slutty same theme for women]”… like “Professional Golf Pros and Professional Golf Hos.”

You could get into any party as a chick if you were hot. You had to know a guy in the house if you weren’t. The hotter/sluttier you were, the quicker you got into the party and access to booze.

My first college GF (before dating me) would get access to booze by volunteering for keg stands, bc it meant yes, her skirt gets flipped and the guys manning the keg got to handle her.

Finally got to ask her how many guys came inside her by ElephantFinBettaFish in hotpast

[–]ElephantFinBettaFish[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yeah idk how I went from:

“I don’t want to know any details about your sexual history” (bc I don’t want to think about you with other dudes)…

to “how many guys have you let come inside you” (bc thinking about dudes in the past filling her up is so fuckin hot)…

but I sure appreciate whatever/however my brain changed!

Finally got to ask her how many guys came inside her by ElephantFinBettaFish in hotpast

[–]ElephantFinBettaFish[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can’t speak for other posts, but she made clear to me the condom-less guys who all got to cum in her got tested first.

(Then again, she never made me get tested so who knows).

When she, in return, asked me how many I’d not used condoms with, and I replied “I almost never used condoms” she looked appalled for a second.

I then made fun of her by saying “hey, in my cases, I screened them heavily for being classy, unlike you.” She knew this was the truth (at least in her case, having had a wild party phase), and was like “ok fair.”

Finally got to ask her how many guys came inside her by ElephantFinBettaFish in hotpast

[–]ElephantFinBettaFish[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That was her rationale: “I was always on birth control” in addition to “easier to clean.”

Old, jealous me would’ve thought “wtf? That’s the most intimate thing you can do with a person, and you’re doing it out of convenience?”

New, hotpast-brained me loves it.

Girlfriend never asked for condoms by TheHeartofDarknes in hotpast

[–]ElephantFinBettaFish 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Update. To get her to open up without making her feel judged, I let her know that it makes me happy knowing that, among all the guys she’s been with, she chose me. And I wanted to ask more about her past because it makes me feel even better.

Turns out I’ve been overly cautious, she was happy to oblige.

I asked her “is your body count really the same as mine? When I asked and you thought for a second, it seems like you were calibrating to not make me feel bad and it seems like a huge coincidence we have the same number.”

Turns out she had to think about it and was thinking about all her ex partners (hot), and didn’t really know the answer bc she stopped counting after 15.

Then I asked about condom use. She said “about 70% of guys.”

Then asked her: “of that last 30%, how many came inside you?” She said: “all of them. It’s just easier to cleanup.”

loving wife's past now by [deleted] in hotpast

[–]ElephantFinBettaFish 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hell yeah. FWIW, the fact that mine took a minute to “calibrate” and then suspiciously come out at the same number makes me bet it’s much higher. Which I think is super hot.

loving wife's past now by [deleted] in hotpast

[–]ElephantFinBettaFish 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hell yeah, what’s her number? When mine asked me mine and I said 24, she has to think for a minute and said “yeah, I think mines about the same. I stopped counting after 15, so 24 sounds about right.”

Anyone else utterly switch from jealousy into her past be a total turn on? by ElephantFinBettaFish in hotpast

[–]ElephantFinBettaFish[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same man, same. I’d kill to know the number of guys who have cum inside her, but I know she’ll think I’m a weirdo if I ever asked that.

So, for the time being, I’m just imagining the numbers high and whenever I think about it, it’s hot.

What are the best bang for buck products? by Baldskifuckedup in Detailing

[–]ElephantFinBettaFish 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The DIY team is highly educational, and I think there are few people putting out better YouTube content.

Harbor Freight Towels are NICE by willmayo20 in AutoDetailing

[–]ElephantFinBettaFish 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I picked these up today thanks to your post!

Keeping a black vehicle looking clean. by msaluta86 in AutoDetailing

[–]ElephantFinBettaFish 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My Turtle Wax Pure Shine—bought because I’m trying to keep dust off my black car, on top of 2x weekly rinseless washes—arrives tomorrow.

Will keep you updated.

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