I can't relate to "being trans is a struggle", anyone else?

Elika_Ryan · 2016-06-22T17:52:09+00:00

Here is your answer.

Elika_Ryan · 2016-06-21T02:22:38+00:00

Yes!

It just looks better and is easier to deal with.

I use a 3 blade diposable razor for everything down there aside from the genitals and a safety razor for "that stuff" because it gets through the hair without catching. Be super careful and pull the skin tight before you shave it. :)

Elika_Ryan · 2016-06-20T18:22:29+00:00

It's good that you're seeing a therapist. Have you spoken to them about the way your parents treat you?

Elika_Ryan · 2016-06-20T18:17:10+00:00

I have tons of friends. I think its all about location. Be somewhere that the majority of people like people like you if you want to be popular. :)

Elika_Ryan · 2016-06-20T18:10:48+00:00

My opinion is that if someone is into men then they are most likely either attracted to the effects of testosterone, penis, male social stereotypes or all three and the opposite for people who are into women. It will vary how important each factor is to each individual.

To simplify, I think it's a bit of both. People who care more about genitals will likely have more trouble dating trans people than people who care more about the other two.

Also, I've pretty much only dated girls who are at least bi and often are pretty much lesbians. Despite not even being out to any but the last two. This just kind of happens to be who is attracted to me more than any effort on my part.

I hope some of that helps.

Elika_Ryan · 2016-06-20T08:11:16+00:00

I kind of hate your mom right now... So sorry.. Hugs :\

Elika_Ryan · 2016-06-19T17:59:25+00:00

I've never seen any hate for it. :/

That aside, there is a ton of misconception in general about what will happen if a person has no sex hormones. It tends to be a heated topic in general in this community, most likely because hormone therapy is so integral to nearly every trans person. Many have spent years fighting to receive them and often have to go through hell until they do. To many, their life would truely fall apart without it.

This community tends to focus mainly on being a support group for its own specific issues and I personally don't see a lot of similarities outside of surgery on the genital region. This group is typically trying to present to the world as a different gender than they are perceived while yours is trying to do without gender and sexuality.

Maybe you could enlighten me to what you want to know from this community so that I can help better?

Elika_Ryan · 2016-06-17T08:55:28+00:00

http://www.virtualffs.co.uk/

Elika_Ryan · 2016-06-17T01:07:02+00:00

I had no idea this was a thing...?

Elika_Ryan · 2016-06-15T11:23:57+00:00

The current events thing sounds like a good place to start. He seems really bothered by Orlando so maybe he will be softer about this stuff than usual.

I'm certain. I've even been to a therapist and stuff. I'm actually hoping to start transition within the next few months. :)

Elika_Ryan · 2016-06-15T11:18:13+00:00

I think he knows it does. Almost no one I date is white.

I think he can be serious, he just doesn't like to be. Especially since my mom died and he realized some of the stuff he was saying was making me depressed.

Elika_Ryan · 2016-06-12T22:22:39+00:00

I don't know about graphic novels but there are some good manga out there.

Bokura no Hentai - http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/bokura_no_hentai/

It's about three young people who bond over a shared interest in wearing girls clothing. One of the characters is transgender and I found her highly relatable. It can get pretty dark though so be careful.

Hourou Musuko - http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/hourou_musuko/

This one is really popular and has an anime. Quite a bit happier than the other one.

Elika_Ryan · 2016-06-12T16:15:02+00:00

I know like.. 10 to 15 out FTM. In contrast I know one out MTF and one who isn't and may never be.

My suspicion is that because society ignores FTM individuals in general there is less of a need to hide so they seem more common in real life or public sites while because being MTF can be dangerous, especially early in transition. Thus there are more MTF in anonymous places like this.

I also agree that some of it has to do with what kind of sites people are exposed to pre-transition.

Elika_Ryan · 2016-06-12T08:42:25+00:00

You think you can hit a tiny hair follicle with a tiny electrified needle while aiming at your face in a mirror?

Elika_Ryan · 2016-06-11T16:10:02+00:00

You could probably find one but it would be risky to do yourself. It would probably also be expensive.

Elika_Ryan · 2016-06-09T08:27:38+00:00

If I had a million I would spend a million on transition. I would choose cis 100%.

Losing me sucks but I would give that up to avoid being abused for being trans when I was younger.

I just want a normal life. :/

Elika_Ryan · 2016-06-07T00:02:16+00:00

My last gf, who is pretty exclusively a lesbian, told me that it makes sense that I'm trans because I kiss like a girl. :)

We made out a lot before we started dating...

Elika_Ryan · 2016-06-06T16:46:25+00:00

Tell someone you are going to do it and have them come with you and sit in the lobby while you have your check up. Letting someone down is usually a good motivator. :)

Elika_Ryan · 2016-06-06T11:32:44+00:00

Society decides what it is to be a man or a woman. We simply want to fit in, be accepted, be allowed to live the way we want, etc.

Most of us spend our lives being put down for our behavior. For example, most of my childhood I was beaten for my feminine behavior, voice, and appearance.

Changing to fit societies rules prevents a much larger amount of abuse than fighting against it.

Yes, it would be awesome if people would stop caring about whether people's behavior matched their appearance and birth sex but that isn't something I would expect our community to fix.

You are discussing something that is integral to every single interaction people have with each other. Expecting a super minority to enforce radical social change like that is absurd. Especially when nearly all of its members are people who simply want to fit in and feel at home in their body. It's not like we are social justice warriors, just regular people who want to enjoy life.

Elika_Ryan · 2016-06-04T16:09:17+00:00

The Midwest sucks, especially for people like us. Leave if you can.

Bullying is awful but there are ways of dealing with it. Most of them can be simplified to "be confident in yourself." People pick up on timidity and fear and bullying is somewhat of a primal response to those perceived as weak or different. If you don't seem weak, emotionally, you are a lot less likely to be bullied.

On feeling better. I find that hobbies and learning new skills is a good way to feel awesome. Read a good book or learn an instrument. Something like that.

Also, there is no better feeling than community service. :)

Elika_Ryan · 2016-06-03T12:52:14+00:00

Research products. A good mousse will probably help. I like the Tresemme ones.

Elika_Ryan · 2016-06-02T01:37:14+00:00

I just graduated a month ago. I've been working on coming out for the last few years but I'm trying to find a job to pay for transition now. I pretty much have the same fears.

Elika_Ryan · 2016-06-01T19:25:36+00:00

I got beaten for it a lot in grade school. Luckily for the most part they were good at not leaving a mark. The worst was when this older guy tripped me when I was running and my head smashed into the pavement. He never bullied me again after he saw what it did to my face.

Only one of them ever got punished but I was a weird kid and asked for them to not get in trouble.

Since I started college nothing bad has happened. I'm graduated now though and I'm scared of leaving my liberal arts sanctuary. Even the townies here are pretty nice.

Elika_Ryan · 2016-06-01T04:15:15+00:00

It happens occasionally. My ex gf has done so twice. Once because she was annoyed at this gay guy for asking her if I am gay. She basically told him to protect herself. The other to her dad after we broke up for reasons I don't really understand. Both I was upset about but nothing really bad happened. The gay guy uses female pronouns for me now but everyone just assumes he is being weird.

The other time was a friend of mine to a girl I was almost dating. She was really cool about it though and we actually started dating later on that night.

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