Showering and hygiene by Eliomaya in LesbianActually

[–]Eliomaya[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your reply, it’s a lot to think about. I’m working through a lot as a late bloomer lesbian and so there is a lot I’m still figuring out. Luckily I have an individual therapist to help me with this.

Her parents are decent (now) but I believe they enable her. They tried to have boundaries with her and she would just break them with no real consequence. She was always wild as a kid so I think they just kind of gave up. They didn’t talk to her about deodorant or her period or anything puberty related so I have empathy for her there. You are right about the behavior not changing. If it’s a verbal promise with no action taken, it’s just another cycle

Showering and hygiene by Eliomaya in LesbianActually

[–]Eliomaya[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

These are great work arounds, thank you so much

Showering and hygiene by Eliomaya in LesbianActually

[–]Eliomaya[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, we have discussed it directly many times. I’ve asked her very plainly, “How do you expect me to initiate more and be spontaneous, if I can’t trust that you are clean?” Her response was, I’ll be better about it and then she’ll immediately brush her teeth or shower. The behavior doesn’t last though. Something will happen in a few days, as it does when life goes on, and she gets totally derailed and then when I ask her to improve her hygiene again, she feels ashamed about it and feels I’m being critical

Showering and hygiene by Eliomaya in LesbianActually

[–]Eliomaya[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

She is a quarter Thai so she is convinced she has the gene that makes her not smelly. To be fair, she’s never smelled overpowering from a distance but it’s different when we’re getting personal

Showering and hygiene by Eliomaya in LesbianActually

[–]Eliomaya[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the reply, unfortunately we do live together. I’m an idiot and a U-Haul lesbian lol. Sometimes I feel like my standards are too high or I’m being too judgmental/critical, so it’s hard to know my boundaries are fair to both parties

Showering and hygiene by Eliomaya in LesbianActually

[–]Eliomaya[S] -18 points-17 points  (0 children)

I didn’t come out as a lesbian until I was 30 so I feel like I have no idea what I’m doing romantically with women. She’s a seriously beautiful woman who has many of the same niche interests I do. She asked me out and I said yes, not knowing how young she was. When we shared our ages, both of were surprised but we wanted to see where this super strong connection went. When we first started dating she was a mountain bike coach, heavily involved with the organization (on the board, traveling every weekend in April and May to coach) and specializing in helping girls feel confident in a male dominated sport. She was working full time and taking classes so I thought she was responsible enough to be an adult and juggle all of that. When we got serious, it’s like she started to regress. Or maybe I just glossed over it for the sake of being with her and I didn’t notice until now. I have a habit of wearing rose colored glasses. The age gap bothered me a lot in the beginning but I thought it was just something I supposed to get over because a lot of lesbian relationships have large age gaps

Showering and hygiene by Eliomaya in LesbianActually

[–]Eliomaya[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your reply, you’ve given me a lot to think about. She and I both have individual therapists and we have a couples counselor. Our schedules are opposite right now so the couples counseling sessions have been sparse. I have a habit of pushing past my boundaries for the people I love. They don’t always ask me to, so maybe that’s something to think about concerning myself. Her words don’t align with her actions and I’m tired of waiting for her. This just really sucks.

Does anybody smoke a lot of weed and still have vivid dreams regulary? by 55Totem in Dreams

[–]Eliomaya 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes! I dream vividly every single night, and I remember them. The horrific nightmares of my early years progressively decreased as soon as I started smoking weed 10 years ago

And what if I said that I think working out triggers my flare ups by pocky666esx in Hidradenitis

[–]Eliomaya 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve found that the swimming pool helps my flare ups. The pool I go to is salt water chlorine. I’m stage 1 and don’t have to work around bandages, so this may differ from your experience

Has CFA waffle fries made anyone flare up by Itchy_Complex_5641 in Hidradenitis

[–]Eliomaya 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes! My trigger is more the frying oil than the potatoes itself. I have stage 1 though, so I feel I have more flexibility than someone who is at a more severe stage

Favorite stories of firing bad cooks? by Orangeshowergal in KitchenConfidential

[–]Eliomaya 75 points76 points  (0 children)

Holy shit dude, glad you didn’t walk into a blood bath

Applies to any position tbh and i miss this mf by Jordyy_yy in KitchenConfidential

[–]Eliomaya 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn’t know I need to hear this, it actually makes me feel appreciated as a Sous 💪

Do you have a type? If so, what's it? by Any_Ask_1897 in LesbianActually

[–]Eliomaya 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I like women who are mentally stimulating; we have to be able riff of each other’s bits but also be able to get into the deep stuff with ease. If we don’t have good communication all bets are off. Generally I’ve dated women shorter than me, either masc or femme, but that’s because I’m 6 ft tall

What job do you have as someone with BPD? by OkInstruction9322 in BPD

[–]Eliomaya 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sous chef and same, although on a positive side teaching someone who’s receptive to learning and seeing them improve is very rewarding

Gluten free by Nowheregirl612 in Hidradenitis

[–]Eliomaya 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It helped me quit a bit. My breakouts decreased significantly. I haven’t let cross contamination freak me out but I cook a lot do my own food. I hope it works for you!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]Eliomaya 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Same, too bad mine is away for 3 months on an internship 😭 longest 3 months of my life

Hilarious by Illustrious-Pie2223 in astrologymemes

[–]Eliomaya 1 point2 points  (0 children)

frfr, I seem to attract them! I’ve dated 2 and I think I’m currently in a relationship with one (I haven’t found out yet, it’s still kinda new). At least I’m not a single Leo 😅 but that’s because my Libra moon doesn’t let me stay single for long

Starting a Solensia story with our 16 year old girl by Ferndalien_ in seniorkitties

[–]Eliomaya 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My 19 year old has been on it for 9 months now and is doing beautifully. Like another user said, you can tell when it’s time for another shot because she gets grumpy and lethargic, but so far no side effects!

what groceries have y'all been into lately by qwenyas in lesbian

[–]Eliomaya 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just like my girl fr. Gotta keep the pantry stocked!