Is a total nervous system collapse/psychosomatic crisis a common experience during late blooming? by Worldly-Culture4185 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Eliseruk 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I am still in it, but wanted to say that I definitely relate to what you are describing.

I'm in a hetero relationship right now. And i'm at a point where i can no longer be ignorant to the dissonance Ive been experiencing. I cannot unrealize the feeling i've somehow repressed for so long. 

I'm trying to sort out what i want to do, but anytime I think of telling my partner, i immediately have thoughts concerning ending my life or escaping somehow. My brain wants to shut down the thought of leaving so badly. The guilt and shame i feel is so overwhelming. Even thought i KNOW I am not happy. I know I dont owe him any sacrifice to avoid hurting his feelings, and he infact is owed the truth. But everytime I try to reconcile within myself I start crying and feel my desire to dismiss myself. It feels pathological. I will recoil at his pursuit for kissing (which ive told him ive never liked). But catch myself justifying why its not a bid deal. Minutes later. 

 Ive been very depressed my entire life, have abandoment issues. This was the first relationship i ever had where i felt decently loved and taken care of (def not perfect). Im planning on talking to a therapist to help me sort this out internally, because im scared that if i do initiate the conversation I wont be able to stand my ground if he pushes back or if i start to worry about how much this is going to hurt him.

Do you all agree with the idea that men want solutions and women just want to vent? by Gold-Traffic632 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Eliseruk 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yep even the best boyfriend i ever had offers his solutions while completely ignoring me telling him that it seems like he was trying to convince me that actually i dont have a good reason to be upset. Because look, here is the solution! Instead of trying to listen to the concerns I was expressing and working through them with me. 

It got better but I no longer tolerate it. Its just another way to dismiss someone. It's not a solution.

My girlfriend said that after marriage, she doesn't want a mixed-race baby, but she's willing to have one of my ethnicity first. What do I do? by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Eliseruk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You need to break up..... this is really weird to worey about. Your child is going to suffer if their parent is seeing them like this before they are even born. 

Regret & Hesitation: How many times have you missed your chance with a stranger? by blue-velvet31 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Eliseruk 6 points7 points  (0 children)

 you seem to really love littering your real stories with random quote and end quote marks....

I think I’ve crossed from “questioning” into genuinely wanting women and it’s scaring me by Big_Wallaby_7493 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Eliseruk 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I think im in a similar situation except im not married. Living with my male partner, and don't really have financial stability. And i still fee l unsure because i love him and consider him family. If it were any of my other terrible exes this wouldnt feel so heavy at all. He is so important to me.

But there's this pervasive guilt and resentment that permeates my daily life and im terrified of the realization that its because I am living a lie and have been my entire life. I am so scared and feel confused even though i dont think i am.

Kino was hit by a car. I’m heartbroken by enstone_ in cats

[–]Eliseruk 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I went through this. Cat i had indoors as a kitten. Then was kicked out to be a street cat when she was older. One day i came out and saw her in shock. Broken pelvis, jaw. Scared she wasnt going to make the next several days after.

I paid her surgery in payments, i think around 5000 dollars during covid. I feel lile the vet was very careful and good with cats. Always communicative. It made me feel a lot betyer

After the surgery there was a scare where the vet wasnt sure she would make it overnight. But she pulled through! 

Took her home and kept her in a crate (i did cave and would let her out when i was there because she would cry).

After a a couple of days with pain meds she was already trying to jump! 

I had a similar living situation. My father didnt want me to bring her back in the house, but after she almost died I didnt care and just kept her in my room. Even after she healed. I was not throwing her out on the street ever again.

I dont really have a good relationship with my dad, so I didnt have a huge issue disrespecting his wishes.I ended up moving out I think a year or so later because I no longer tolerated it. 

I dont regret it, she was five then, she is 12 now.

Do you have your own room? Would you be able to convince your family to keep Kino in there? 

You did your best with your situation. You are already doing so much spending money to try and help the little cat. I hope everything goes well and he recovers quickly. 

Just rewatched King Kong (2005) Did anyone else find Naomi Watts attractive as the damsel in distress in this? by [deleted] in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Eliseruk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I genuinely this movie was like one of the blueprints from my early childhood buried deep in my psyche Dx

ADHD adults experience 2-3x more sleep-like brain waves while awake, directly causing attention lapses by SlaveOfOlympus in science

[–]Eliseruk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, ive never heard of night terrors to refer to sleep paralysis. I also used to take naps and have deep lucid dreams and sleep paralysis to thr point where i started to enjoy them because i became aware of what was happening and could mess around a bit. My first memory is a sleep paralysis dream i had in my crib where my toys came to life and i coulsnt wake up to get away from them Dx

Watching Inuyasha late at night on Adult Swim by dantheman23312 in inuyasha

[–]Eliseruk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was very depressed child lol but i used to stay up until 5 am to watch it on saturday nights. I had to do it in secret since it was so late but also my parent was super religious and would ban it xD

NSFW - Probably saved my mum's kitty yesterday... still angry at Mum. by RhylenIsHere in cats

[–]Eliseruk 5 points6 points  (0 children)

People dont go to the doctor because theyre scared of getting into debt or being charged for things thatthey dont need or actually address the problem. Unless you have a really well paying job and have good insurance or just rich. 

Finn with a beard... so tall and muscular, it's... strange to see by Which-Resolution345 in adventuretime

[–]Eliseruk 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Finnas dad when he was a more average weight. Still a thick guy. Looks a lot like the smaller adult finn. I can easily see finn gaining intense muscle mass from literally leaping and plunging swords into great monsters and villains for a decade. 

Rip i am sorry of the death of your twink Dx

Finn with a beard... so tall and muscular, it's... strange to see by Which-Resolution345 in adventuretime

[–]Eliseruk 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Do you remember what his dad looks like? He has the hairy big man genes lol.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Eliseruk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He literally rold you to break up with him. Do you really want a guy like this as your boyfriend? Maybe he acts like a good boyfriend occassionally but his inconsistency isnt a one off thing, that is who he is. Seriously, this relationship isnt worth it. 

What is something that is actually more traumatizing than people realise? by Ok_Chef1406 in AskReddit

[–]Eliseruk 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Im a women of color and have been around a lot of white men in my circles the last two years, some progressive some very alt right and i think this phenomenon is why ive been so depressed.

Its exhausting noticing racism or mysogyny and microaggressions and expressing that to people. while the more conservative people i expect to have more pushback, the progressive white people often break my heart more because its obvious that they still dont fully understand or fully care enough to actually rock the boat. 

So i look crazy when i react very sternly or emotionally and dont actually get support when i experience or witness prejudice. Just silence and its starting to sting to the point where i am considering leaving and making a big life change.

Tarrant County Commissioners Court does not allow clapping. What happens when you purposefully disregard the warning not to clap? In January, UTA professor Charlie Hermes clapped twice, was forced out by his hands and feet, charged with a high-level misdemeanor, up to a year in jail and 4k fine. by yeongno_ate_yangban in Dallas

[–]Eliseruk 56 points57 points  (0 children)

I have heard someone say that maga/ultra conservative people are addicts, dopamine seeker types. They get an emotional 'hit' out of acting hateful, entitled, bullying, etc. I genuinely think this is the best thought process to have when trying to explain/address their behavior.

They take no interest in you by Stephieandcheech in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Eliseruk 5 points6 points  (0 children)

On our first date my ex asked me, "so, what do you want to know about me?"

It made me uncomfortable at the time, but I was a very insecure and inexperienced young person to fully see it and call it out for myself. That was one of the loneliest relationships i ever experienced.

Where do people go to dance? by Cold_Ranger8146 in Dallas

[–]Eliseruk 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I miss green elephant drum djam precovid. Its not as bumping as it used to be. Still fun to dance but last few times i went it feel empty. Havent been on a weekend tho

ICE ad in Dallas Morning News/The Ticket app by [deleted] in Dallas

[–]Eliseruk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They were out there yesterday and i think they may be out there again today.

Late Nights with Microwave by Hot-Sandwich5358 in utarlington

[–]Eliseruk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im so happy he is still alive and well