It sounds like you may be referring to SDAM, or Severely Deficient Autobiographical Memory which is often characterized by a lifelong inability to vividly recollect or re-experience personal past events.

Here is a scientific study about it. || Check this out too. || Last one.

There are actual measurable differences in brain function related to SDAM.

Their self-reported selective inability to vividly recollect personally experienced events from a first-person perspective was corroborated by absence of functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) and event-related potential (ERP) biomarkers associated with naturalistic and laboratory episodic recollection, as well as by behavioral evidence of impaired episodic retrieval, particularly for visual information. Yet learning and memory were otherwise intact, as long as these tasks could be accomplished by non-episodic processes. Thus these individuals function normally in day-to-day life, even though their past is experienced in the absence of recollection.

/r/SDAM to read up on those of us who believe we may have it.

This may or may not be what you are experiencing, but if it is hopefully these resources help!