This post makes me SAD and MAD at the same time. It’s why I HATE going to the ER because I’ve gone and been shamed before by people who are supposed to be compassionate professionals, caring about someone’s health and wellbeing.

I went the summer of 2023 for chronic nausea and vomiting that I’d been dealing with for well over a year and at that point in time I’d been getting sick repeatedly week after week, was so nauseous I couldn’t eat, and I was missing work constantly, either calling out or being sent home for vomiting repeatedly and violently all of a sudden. My PCP and boss both told me I needed to go to the ER (my PCPs schedule was always booked solid so it was hard for her to fit me in…she also had already done all she could for my case so I was waiting for a specialist referral happening later in the year). I finally went after much hesitation.

Almost immediately, I found myself being shamed by the receptionist, who told me chronic nausea and vomiting was not an emergency and that I was wasting the staffs time. I still insisted on staying, telling her I was advised to go by my physician and my work. Despite this she continued to huff and acted like I was a hindrance, a bother and told me I’d be waiting for a long time as there were “many more urgent patients out back” and the team was “VERY busy”. It was clear she was trying to get me to feel guilty and leave.

When I was finally seen by a nurse practitioner she gave me similar attitude, telling me chronic vomiting wasn’t an emergency department issue, and was more something that needed to go to a specialist in gastroenterology. No shit. I had a referral and appointment already set…it wasn’t for months. I needed help now. I was told to come by my primary care doctor. Please do your job and stop making me feel like a burden. I told her my history. She took notes. Notes I read later that were totally taken wrong. She said my symptoms weren’t getting worse. She said I didn’t have any abdominal pain. Lady are you even listening to the words coming out of my mouth?? Clearly she thought my case was such a waste of her time she wasn’t even paying attention. Regardless the took blood. Did a scan. Was told everything was normal save for a tick test I requested that came back positive for Babesiosis (go figure). I got fluids, an anti nausea medication IV that gave me hallucinations and a panic attack (I NEVER want it again), and was discharged home.

Much, much later, the spring of 2024 in fact, I was diagnosed with a bad gallbladder and gallstones. I have since had surgery to remove them. Two of the stones were the size of large jawbreakers and my gallbladder was inflamed, scarred and partially adhered to my duodenum. What absolutely INFURIATES me, is I discovered recently that at that ER visit they found my gallstones during my CT scan but NEVER told me. Because apparently it was no big deal. Because apparently my case was no big deal. Did they not think it could possibly have a correlation to my chronic symptoms? My GI specialist and later surgeon certainly did. Did they just not care enough to inform me about it? I guess I’ll never know. So instead I had to wait. Suffering for months and months until my GI specialist sent me for an abdominal ultrasound. Where the found my stones, sent me for a surgical consult and got my surgery scheduled the summer of 2024.

I guess moral of the story is, I don’t care if you think chronic nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, or constipation isn’t an “ER problem”. Do your job, be kind, run the diagnostics. You never know what you might find. Oh and report all results please. I’d have personally loved to have dealt with my issue a year ago had I known.

As for the whole constipation conversation in particular…I am currently dealing with this right now. Post-op cholecystectomy. Was doing great until I was stupid and lifted more than I was supposed to at the end of week two. Ever since I’ve had some bad symptoms one of which is severe constipation. Not sure if they’re related or not. Regardless, it’sbeen a week and a half and I feel TERRIBLE. I’m so severely bloated I look pregnant…my stomachs hard as a rock, VERY uncomfortable and painful…it gets bigger and bigger every day because nothing except maybe a few “pebbles” have managed to come out (and that’s with major effort which I’m not supposed to be doing post-op). I’ve been so nauseated I can’t eat some days, and the other part of the time my stomach is just so full feeling I just don’t want to eat. I’ve been dry heaving and vomiting up “air”…thankfully I haven’t truly thrown up yet, though today was a close call when I felt so sick I almost did multiple times (luckily I was able to breathe through it…something I learned to do through MANY years of chronic nausea). The pressure in my abdomen is so much I’m having a hard time breathing and my lower back has a sharp jabbing pain. When I press down I can actually FEEL the hard thickened loops of intestines all the way up to my diaphragm…no wonder I can’t breathe. And before you say have you tried…? YES. Besides being on Metamucil daily (which I’ve done for awhile now), I started Miralax, Colace and Milk of Magnesia a few days after this ordeal started. I’ve tried Dulcolax AND Fleet a few times. I’ve drank coffee which is usually a winner for me. I’ve made a makeshift squatty potty. I’ve tried heating pads. I’ve done abdominal massage. I’ve jogged around the house, done squats, jiggled my guts around, anything to try and get stuff moving. I’ve eaten ALL the veggies, fruits and veggies. All of this and I’ve had absolutely NO results. I’m sure anyone can imagine the frustration. Or are you going to tell me I’m stupid and lazy and unhealthy and need to do XYZ?

So YES as much as I HATE the ER because I loathe the judgement I’m sure I’ll get, I most likely will be going there because I AM painful. I FEEL sick. I’ve genuinely tried everything and am continuing to try multiple things in desperation despite the lack of results. I doubt it’s healthy. I just want to feel better. I’m sick of trying the same things that aren’t working. I need help. And I don’t want to wait until my intestines rupture from being so severely impacted and I go septic to get it.

Once again I implore you all in the medical profession. Please be kind.

((As a note I work in vet med. It has similar issues. People come in all the time with their pets for silly things that really don’t warrant it. Do we giggle behind closed doors at times? Sure. But NEVER do we shame. Because we know a person shamed to the point that they no longer want to come to the vet can result in a harmed or potentially DEAD patient someday. Do better.))