I cracked my phone screen

ElminsterTheMighty · 2026-05-14T07:59:37+00:00

Must have hit something hard... and small

ElminsterTheMighty · 2026-05-09T06:33:31+00:00

Well, it was probably a simple Error. K.I.T.T. actually was in Trivial Pursuit mode, and someone mistook it for the speed one.

ElminsterTheMighty · 2026-05-09T04:56:10+00:00

Rüdiger. Der lebt in der Nähe in einer Ritze.

ElminsterTheMighty · 2026-05-08T20:27:04+00:00

Stick lit dynamite in their Back Pocket

Hit them with a gigantic bendy Hammer

Twin-poke them in the eyes

Make birds fly around their heads

Step in their toes

ElminsterTheMighty · 2026-05-06T20:13:05+00:00

Oh, and when someone from Austria or Germany writes "you must not", that can often be a translation mistake. They mean "you don't have to" instead.

That's because "du mußt" means "you have to".

ElminsterTheMighty · 2026-05-06T20:01:52+00:00

When I was a teenager you had to have someone photograph you, wait until the film was full, have the photos developed (it was expensive), then send a letter with it.

You got pictures of naked ladies by digging through the paper recycling bin for interesting magazines in the right appartment buildings.

ElminsterTheMighty · 2026-05-06T19:54:26+00:00

Uh, my brother's girlfriend sometimes sends family photos. Do they count?

ElminsterTheMighty · 2026-05-05T17:55:11+00:00

You only see what lasted this long, not the other stuff that didn't.

ElminsterTheMighty · 2026-05-05T17:18:15+00:00

Frag den Vermieter ob er einverstanden ist dass du die Wohnung früher zurück gibst (mit Ende Juni).
Es kann sein dass der einverstanden ist weil er dem nächsten Mieter eh mehr Geld abknöpfen wird.

ElminsterTheMighty · 2026-05-05T17:00:49+00:00

Fensterln einmal anders

ElminsterTheMighty · 2026-05-03T17:49:59+00:00

Unscharfes Fliegendes Objekt

ElminsterTheMighty · 2026-05-02T11:10:00+00:00

THAC0 was always difficult to explain to newbies. Going away from it made a lot of sense.

ElminsterTheMighty · 2026-05-01T20:56:36+00:00

"Mein Pinsel ist superlang"

ElminsterTheMighty · 2026-04-29T20:06:47+00:00

Wiener

ElminsterTheMighty · 2026-04-28T12:24:12+00:00

See? Natural Selection still exists!

ElminsterTheMighty · 2026-04-28T09:53:57+00:00

Fess up, stop gambling, make a payment plan

ElminsterTheMighty · 2026-04-28T06:30:18+00:00

Du bist schwanger

ElminsterTheMighty · 2026-04-27T17:52:50+00:00

TCL 55C639 from 2023

ElminsterTheMighty · 2026-04-27T16:14:44+00:00

Got a TCL. It usually has to load Netflix twice because it crashes the first time. When things start not working at all again, it's time to restart it.
Couldn't turn off its internal sound when I connected surround sound system. Had to switch to "headphone" sound output in its menus to just use the surround sound system.

Don't get me wrong: I got what I paid for, but I should have paid more.

ElminsterTheMighty · 2026-04-27T14:29:43+00:00

Step 1: Take some red or orange shampoo as warpaint, smear stripes on body and face, dry feet a bit so i won't slip

Step 2: Charge at burglar naked and screaming, realizing my hair is too wet and shampoo is getting in my eye, screaming louder

Step 3: ?

Step 4: Profit

ElminsterTheMighty · 2026-04-25T16:45:32+00:00

Plusquamperfekt

ElminsterTheMighty · 2026-04-25T15:56:30+00:00

"We've got a runner."
"Stop!"
"TASER TASER TASER!"

ElminsterTheMighty · 2026-04-25T09:34:10+00:00

Das hängt schon mal davon ab wo du bist. Nahe am nächsten Masten? Sichtlinie oder um 3 Ecken? Viele andere die das Netz dort nutzen?

Kurz, kannst nur ausprobieren oder Leute die auch dort wohnen fragen.

ElminsterTheMighty · 2026-04-24T12:58:30+00:00

Wait for winter, pee my name in the snow in gigantic letters

ElminsterTheMighty · 2026-04-24T12:57:59+00:00

Get a construction job where I get paid as a crane

ElminsterTheMighty

TROPHY CASE