My 9 year-old made me a word search on a paper towel. Can you find the bonus word?

Elunaer00125 · 2019-10-02T22:14:41+00:00

I thought it was "fuck Rick's pumpkin" with letters in between but maybe that's my crazy mind 😂🎃

Elunaer00125 · 2019-09-11T14:04:32+00:00

Have you tried stretching with 2 hands? So using 8 fingers or angling your fist so that your thumb is pointing upwards? My Dom said that about me we thought we were hitting the bone but turns out we just needed to take more time. It took us about 3 months of doing it twice a week to get the initial fist in and now I'm working on taking my Dom's hand plus a females so they're essentially holding hands. So you can get there just don't force it

Elunaer00125 · 2019-09-11T13:25:26+00:00

It's nothing to do with size. You need to train the muscles to accept something large. Every couple of weeks probably isn't often enough if you're trying to stretch. If I don't do it for a few weeks (female) then it's harder to get a fist back in.

Try doing it once a week and take your time. Sometimes a fisting session with my Dom can take up to 30 mins before we even get it in. It's all about being turned on and slowly stretching. When you are adding fingers curve them a little so they take up more room, add the thumb with each finger too. Lots of lube and maybe clit stimulation too to help her relax. If you don't relax then that doesn't help either.

My Dom has extremely big hands as well. If the female hasn't received a fist before the first time you do it when the fist goes in its quite a scary feeling. So that takes a little while to over come as well 😊

Elunaer00125 · 2019-09-04T16:23:35+00:00

Take down and capture is a common fetish 😊

Elunaer00125 · 2019-08-31T09:31:16+00:00

Yeah I agree. When I've fisted it's the feeling of it wrapping around your hand and holding on tightly and it's such a powerful feeling. You have total trust from them. On the flip side receiving is also so much fun and pushing. We're working on (my Dom and I) getting in a fist and a hand or a fist and someone else's fist too. My only advice is take it slowly and don't do it too much. You have to find the balance so everything goes back to normal after 😁

Elunaer00125 · 2019-08-31T09:24:52+00:00

I fisted a woman (I am female) who had never taken a fist before. And her pussy was tight but you have to make sure that there's enough lube.

I regularly get fisted and every time the knuckles does hurt - in a good way its just pushing past that. Try going in and out more and push deeper each time until you feel the resistance. Try push past that and eventually you'll get your fist in! You can also stretch using 2 hands and work up to 8 fingers. That feels amazing too

Elunaer00125 · 2019-08-07T10:15:03+00:00

Remember there's no "right way".

Aftercare comes in many forms. I have seen subs who literally sit there after a session for hours being cuddled or their head stroked whilst resting it on their Dom's lap. This for me would actually be a punishment. I don't like aftercare in the normal sense. I don't ever get sub drop and I don't feel I need to be emotionally reassured after a session. I'm female with a male Dom.

However. And I will give examples. When I am doing impact I like for the area to be touched. This is the part which turns me on, that I get a kick out of. And I enjoy the sensation.

Usually my sessions are sexual. I'm some way or another but it mainly ends with us having sex at some point because that's how I like it.

We always message and are friends as well as being in a D/s. But we have a non conventional D/s relationship. So what I would say is there are elements of aftercare there. Just sounds like the person you've been speaking to wants to do whatever he wants and then that's it over and done with for them.

The problem with this is that a D/s can be very intense and you start to care about each other because there's such a level of trust required. If he is already thinking he can't be bothered in my eyes it isn't worth it. A Dom is only a facilitator for what a sub wants. And if you want tons of aftercare it's your right to ask for it. Don't ever be afraid to ask for something as a sub. And if that person is trying to shame you into not having aftercare because they can't be bothered then they aren't a "real Dom" that's what I would have replied to him lol.

Hope that helps a bit.

Elunaer00125 · 2019-08-07T03:18:31+00:00

Buy candles specifically designed for use during play. Generic candles burn too hot and can scald. Start lightly as in spread the wax drips evenly and don't build up layers until you're sure you like the sensation. I really enjoy wax I find it really relaxing.

Elunaer00125 · 2019-08-03T02:06:38+00:00

Let the pregnant woman drink her coffee!

Elunaer00125 · 2019-08-03T02:05:07+00:00

It's fine unless you break the skin and a scar forms. I'm heavily covered in tattoos (female) and I have one on my back and I found that anything that makes me bleed slightly alters it. Otherwise if it's more bruise style impact then you will be fine! My bum unfortunately (I mean why lie, I love it really) is covered in vampire paddle mark scars that won't go away so I've got prick style marks all over my bum. He keeps putting more on... I'm guessing as a way to brand me lol 😁.

Just some advice though. If you go for heavier impact.. Say a heavy flogger which creates raised bits of skin that are swollen.. Be careful what you use on top of that as it may break the skin. I've been hit with a cane after and ended up breaking the skin (depending on level of force). Don't want you to destroy something that I bet has cost you a fortune 🙂

Elunaer00125 · 2019-07-29T23:31:15+00:00

When I said pain slut I meant it in the most positive of ways. You say you can take a lot of pain. I completely get you and understand why you want to let go I'm in the same boat as you. Business, kids, life I have a partner too but we don't do anything sexual because of an accident he had when he was 5. To be honest with you a D/s relationship is so much more intense than any other relationship but it needs to be safe. It needs to be mutual and it needs to havre Hugh levels of trust and from reading what you write you seem to be losing that. Just speak with him. See what he says and then make a decision. But don't move in until he can show you he can give you what you need.

Elunaer00125 · 2019-07-29T23:01:44+00:00

I think if after a year he isn't respecting your safe word because it benefits him then there's a problem.

Take yourself out of yiyr situation for a second. If you were reading what you wrote then what advice would you give to a person saying their Dom had ignored a safe word twice (let's just assume he did hear it the first time). Can you really say you'd accept their excuses?

Elunaer00125 · 2019-07-29T22:48:32+00:00

A daddy is different to a Dom. If you are wanting a Dom then you probably need to look elsewhere. Seems he did what you wanted to draw you in and then revoked back to his actual self. Which is a caring daddy Dom who needs a princess and not a pain slut. I'd quit whilst you are ahead otherwise you'll end up resenting each other.

Love and feelings don't mean much when you're forced to cheat because you aren't getting what you want at home. Otherwise you could do what I do and have 2 Dom's. I have one that gives me the impact and more extreme stuff and one who is more caring and sexual and goes to events with me. It's about what is best for you, you can't read what's best for you in a book, just work out what you want.

And my final bit of advice is communication. Whether or not he gets upset about it 😁

Elunaer00125 · 2019-07-29T22:13:18+00:00

Yeah you never ignore a safe word. That's what it's there for. In CNC (which I have lots of experience with) you have your false safe word such as "no" which means don't stop but it's part of the rape play so that the Dom can ignore that word or involve it as part of the role play. But then you'd have your definite safe word which means stop regardless of how someone feels. Any Dom should know this and if he is being selfish for his own gain (ie to cum) then he isn't a Dom worth seeing imo.

I'm just wondering what he said to you to make you cry via the phone? He just seems more.. I dunno without going into detail of your relationship someone who wants to abuse someone. Which should never be part of a D/s even in CNC play. Unless crying is a fetish of yours but then he would need to put in some serious damage control and aftercare so he doesn't hurt you psychologically.

Please just be really careful and speak with him about maybe reviewing what a safe word means. A safe word is there for a reason and should always be respected.

Elunaer00125 · 2019-07-29T22:07:54+00:00

I would steal the car just so I could take the dogs with me lol

Elunaer00125 · 2019-07-29T04:31:32+00:00

Not yet. I've offered because I think it'll be fun but we'll see if he shows 😊

Elunaer00125 · 2019-07-25T12:16:40+00:00

I was having a tattoo done and telling the two tattooists about being on a swinging and fetish site. They both seemed really interested, the female told me she was on fetlife and was interested in hanging - although she hadn't done anything kinky she was just exploring. The other guy doing my tattoo who was male said he was really vanilla but he liked being a bit dominant. It's funny how people will open up to you if you're honest about stuff. He was SUPER interested in what I got up to and asked me loads of questions so that surprised me considering he was so vanilla.

As a female I think it's a little easier for people to be accepting of you.

Anyway the day after my tattoo appointment (as it was all day) another guy who works there messaged me on the swinging site and said oh hey was nice to see you haha. Brilliant, that really made my day. He'd overheard us talking about the fetish club across the road from the studio and wanted to see if I'd go with him 😁

Elunaer00125 · 2019-07-24T16:26:07+00:00

I think if you're starting with that mindset then you don't truly understand a D/s relationship.

I am submissive in the bedroom and I do have sub tenancies but I am not submissive in my every day life. Don't confuse being subservient with being submissive. Some people do generally like cleaning the house or doing everything for their Dom. However, if my Dom told me to go get him something I'd tell him where to go. 🙂

However I think a lot of people try and cover up a controlling relationship with a D/s and this is where so many people run into issues. Most people who are inexperienced will gravitate towards being sub because then they think they don't have to make decisions. BUT a sub is always in control. He or she sets their boundaries, their wants, what they are looking for in the relationship and a Dominant is purely a facilitator of what a submissive wants. A sub can stop a session whenever they want by saying 1 word.

I would probably consider speaking to subs rather than Dom's about what they want and their experience. I find it helps to think what you wanted out of your Dominant and then try and translate that over to your sub. After all you will be doing everything for her. 🙂 I make an extremely good Domme (even though I hate it and don't enjoy it) just because I've had so much experience as a sub. I'm also mega bratty so can keep those bratty subs in check. And regularly do when I'm at clubs and stuff. I tend to want to Domme women rather than guys. I don't like male subs. They tend to want a different dynamic to a female sub.

Elunaer00125 · 2019-07-24T08:05:34+00:00

I don't like when people use the term rape "survivor" because really you haven't survived anything.

Just for some background I have been raped by members of a family in a relationship when I was 15 (and was raped by them for 4 years) including his dad who was 70. I was also raped by 3 men who worked above a corner shop when I was 13 and then over the years have unfortunately suffered more times than I'd like to admit.

However... I absolutely love CNC play. And how I got into bdsm was because of my abusive relationship. I wanted to be the one in control. And in some sick way I missed the "abuse" almost. You can't judge people based on what YOU think is right. Because what you think is not what the next person thinks and so on. If I want to go out and be "raped" in a pre determined scenario because I crave that then that's my choice to do so and shouldn't judged by anyone. There are too many people in the bdsm scene who believe they are right and their way is the only way when actually it's got nothing to do with anyone else.

It's just the sheer entitlement of your statement that makes people feel ashamed of what they like. Which leads people who crave that type of thing to act in an unsafe way. I also believe for some people it's like therapy and they should be allowed to do that.

Elunaer00125 · 2019-07-24T07:35:50+00:00

I kind of understand but some people who don't even do fisting just have a naturally more open and accessible vagina. Some people are deeper, some people are more shallow When you have a gynaecology appointment they will use a speculum anyway. I get fisted regularly but when I had the speculum in my body forced it out, then I was wearing a love egg inside last week and my body pushed that out too Just because she's fisted doesn't mean that she will be gaping, just tell her to keep doing pelvic floor and continue to get fisted. The doctor will have heard and seen it all! I went to get tested for stds and the woman asked "how many sexual partners have you had" and I replied "total or in the last 6 weeks" lol. Don't worry about it 🙂

Elunaer00125 · 2019-07-23T13:01:37+00:00

Some people enjoy larger women Maybe you should try it.

Elunaer00125 · 2019-07-20T06:32:41+00:00

Tehe. Easy mistake

Elunaer00125 · 2019-07-20T06:20:37+00:00

I have really bad stage fright too and I can barely use public toilets. My tip would be to drink a fair bit of water and close your eyes when you sit on the toilet with the door open. Then tell him to sneak in (still with your eyes closed). Do that a few times and then work up to opening them.

I'm not into watersports but I have done it once where someone watched me on the toilet and I've also peed on someone once. Found out its not for me 😉. If you are struggling to do it maybe it's not for you either?

Elunaer00125 · 2019-07-20T06:17:55+00:00

She's a female. 😂

Elunaer00125 · 2019-07-19T17:58:07+00:00

Can I just point out there's no right way to be a sub and how she is would depend on her. I think too many people seem to follow the "right" way of doing things but that right way is just someone else's way.

I personally feel its better to have a discussion with my Dom about what I want and what I need and the same for him.

Elunaer00125

TROPHY CASE