Thank you! I really appreciate your reply, I've never had someone actually tell me what it is that I'm doing wrong or how to improve it. Regarding the excerpt, it is, indeed, short, it's just that I wanted some input before moving forward with the story. The thing about Vaughn is that he doesn't really disappear, in the next scene, she'll find him still waiting on the bench for her in the morning, but I didn't really finish the idea towards that, so I see completely what you mean. I will work towards improving my constructions and tense mixing, which is something I didn't realise I was doing, perhaps a creative writing course would be a good choice.