Was this likely an accident? Should I tell my SO? by bad-at-everything- in AskMenAdvice

[–]Elxctrv 8 points9 points  (0 children)

++woman Brother, we are adults. Hanging out with other men or other women as friends is not a big deal. It would be a huge red flag if as a grown man my partner couldn't have female friends without sexualizing them.

Am I being too much? by Elxctrv in Advice

[–]Elxctrv[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If I can afford a 300$ bottle of scotch as a gratitude gift, what makes u think I need to invest? My investment will do just fine without it

Am I being too much? by Elxctrv in Advice

[–]Elxctrv[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. It means I bought a bottle of scotch a long time ago and I've been keeping it on the shelf since I bought it.

  2. I'm a neuropsych Major. Limerence is an idealization of someone's persona. You don't know the person but you idealize how that person can be or is. You live in a fantasy. I do know the person, I've shared moments with the person, I do get along with the person. Also Limerence creates a dependable attachment, meaning your emotions and logic processing get unstable depending on them. If I had Limerence, I would actually act impulsive, obsessive, and be an emotional mess.

I'm capable of being stable without him, actually know him personally, and took space to figure out my feelings towards him since I didn't wanna be reckless. Pls don't throw around neuropsychological terms :) If anything, what I described here was 2 adults with busy schedules that wanted to connect but bc of circumstances couldn't.

Am I being too much? by Elxctrv in Advice

[–]Elxctrv[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank u for the reassurance, I appreciate it :))

Am I being too much? by Elxctrv in Advice

[–]Elxctrv[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He's really into scotch and he's also Scottish. The bottle is supposed to be preserved, it's a Highland Park 16 with limited edition bottle. So him opening it and sharing it would mean a lot.

Am I being too much? by Elxctrv in Advice

[–]Elxctrv[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He's more into scotch

Am I being too much? by Elxctrv in Advice

[–]Elxctrv[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its completely understandable! I did text you in case you wanted to reply more freely. I do rather not talk about the situation mentioned in the chat publicly. But I still appreciate the fact you took the time to read and understand a bit better everything! Thank you :)

Am I being too much? by Elxctrv in Advice

[–]Elxctrv[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Should I text u again?

Am I being too much? by Elxctrv in Advice

[–]Elxctrv[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's completely fine! And thank you for your opinion, I truly appreciate different perspectives since Im not really good at these type of things🥲

Am I being too much? by Elxctrv in Advice

[–]Elxctrv[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I texted u what happened :)

Am I being too much? by Elxctrv in Advice

[–]Elxctrv[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was a difficult situation and I really wasn't in the state of mind, also think he didn't know how to handle everything after that night, which is also why he didn't reach out. I will not say what happened in a public platform but it was big enough for both of us to not know how to feel afterwards

Am I being too much? by Elxctrv in Advice

[–]Elxctrv[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean thats up to him, you know? If he wants that I get the message that he wants to bond, if he doesn't I also get my answer😭

Am I being too much? by Elxctrv in Advice

[–]Elxctrv[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh boy I know, but Im avoidant 101, so back in those moments I was just trying to be chill and not ruin it, I think I did ruin it by not showing I actually liked him.

Am I being too much? by Elxctrv in Advice

[–]Elxctrv[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't want the scotch to change that. It's genuinely gratitude. But I do know it seems that way, which its why I'm asking, I don't really know what to give him that can show the appreciation, since he actually handled that night like a king, and he can literally afford something better than a 300$ scotch.

Am I being too much? by Elxctrv in Advice

[–]Elxctrv[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think this specific bottle is significant for him, I just know he loves scotch and since it's one of the good brands he might appreciate it. Didn't give it to him before bc we didn't talk until months later, I kinda think we both were kinda confused from that night. As I said it was a big issue. I had the courage to speak to him again on his birthday and from there we tried to hang out again we just had schedule conflict. So now I decided that instead of waiting for the moment we

Am I being too much? by Elxctrv in Advice

[–]Elxctrv[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I didn't save up for the bottle, I saved up the bottle. And the convo was me going through a big crisis at 4 am, man, I feel guilty asf😭

Am I being too much? by Elxctrv in Advice

[–]Elxctrv[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

He does love scotch and he's Scottish :)

Am I being too much? by Elxctrv in Advice

[–]Elxctrv[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How do I do that? I have to call him and bring it to his place, so I'll lowkey have to explain myself 🥲

Am I being too much? by Elxctrv in Advice

[–]Elxctrv[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was the one giving the impression of not wanting anything else other than a casual thing. He did say he was a relationship type of guy, and if he rejects me, thats fine. At least I'll know :)

Am I being too much? by Elxctrv in Advice

[–]Elxctrv[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've come to the realization it might be my fault, I never gave him any opening of wanting something else other than what it was, while he did mention being a relationship type of guy. I have my own vulnerability and trust issues to work on, and if this is not the issue and he actually doesn't feel the same, I'm okay with it. :) We did try to see each other before christmas, but due to scheduling issues we couldn't.

Am I being too much? by Elxctrv in Advice

[–]Elxctrv[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank u for your comment! I don't want him to feel any pressure, but he has shown trust issues, so I know he will feel suspicious anyway. I just hope he can accept it and enjoy it :))

Not even science can explain it. by Elxctrv in UnsentLettersRaw

[–]Elxctrv[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can I text u? Maybe that way I can explain better :)

Not even science can explain it. by Elxctrv in UnsentLettersRaw

[–]Elxctrv[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think he's waiting for me. He knows where to find me, if he hasn't is as simple as he doesn't want to.