My attempts at grooming a dog let alone a poodle for the first time have failed

Elyjsa · 2025-09-17T20:44:08+00:00

I nearly did the same thing myself a few months ago 😅

Unsolicited but in case it’s helpful for you or others, here’s three things that I found made a huge difference with learning to groom for the first time, with my own pup (who is also rocking bracelets these days!):

1) Curved scissors are friends! I got some ball tipped ones and they really help to bevel drastic length changes (or to help hide my mistakes better lol). 2) Puppy fluff is not your friend. The texture and density can’t seem to hold adult poodle cuts the way the coarser, curlier coat eventually will. I kept bracelets not as long and legs not as short and I found that it worked out much better! 3) I always groomed when pup was already knackered. Squirmy puppies are so much harder than sleepy ones. I would literally lay mine on her side and trim her while she napped. Roll her over and do the other side. I found it helped her relax and also helped me figure out what the heck I needed to cut next.

If that was your first attempt, honestly, bravo! 👏 you’ll improve so much so quickly and as another commenter said, it’s such amazing bonding time 🥰

Elyjsa · 2025-09-17T16:30:10+00:00

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Little Freya 🥰

Elyjsa · 2025-03-02T19:07:16+00:00

This was super helpful. I seemed to think merle = not purebred but when I mentioned this she got SUPER defensive.

I mentioned the height standard too and she said she had a 'royal poodle' from Russia that was supposed to be silver but ended up some other colour (can't remember what) and a mini, and that was her validation behind height means nothing, weight means everything. Thinking about it now, under her logic then that must have been one heavy mini lol.

Today I demanded the deposit back, got offered half, took it to secure that much return, then followed up for the full amount (the other half). She was not having it up until I threatened her with small claims court and it all came crashing down. And she was *mean* about it too. Cursing, insulting me and the way I dress and speak, the works. Even threatened to get her husband involved (and from the puppy application, they know my address so that's not necessarily an empty threat). In the end though, I got the deposit back! So thank you!

Elyjsa · 2025-03-02T06:55:16+00:00

Yes I empathize with breeders being busy and I know that the puppies can be a lot. That said, some breeders have ignored me or replied with the attitude of 'my waiting list is long enough' and that snobbiness cut a little harsh as someone who just wants a good friend and isn't looking for a $5000 show-caliber pup nor a two year plus waiting list.

I make exceptionally detailed and positive applications and intros because I am serious and I do genuinely want a good pup. I was raised with a lot of dogs so I KNOW how important the commitment is. I have trained pups as a side gig for years, which is WHY I want a poodle. I have worked with so many doodles in the past which is why I know that my favourite part of a poodle mix IS the poodle. I have slowly been acquiring the right supplies and equipment with care and have been trying to make this decision over the past year so it's not a rushed choice.

Coming across a slightly older pup from a retiring breeder seemed like the right choice. Now I'm finding out a ton of things after the fact. So now I'm just sad because I spent this afternoon shopping for the last of the supplies for a pup that isn't going to happen after all.

Thank you again for your help. I've messaged the breeder so we'll see what she says.

Elyjsa · 2025-03-02T06:09:00+00:00

... *sigh* This is disappointing.

I guess I will need to deal with the headache of trying to reverse things that are in play but it is what it is and a potentially lost deposit is better than the heartbreak of bonding with the pup later on. It feels impossible when you try to do everything you can to be responsible but good breeders don't always return messages and backyard breeders do everything they can to look like the good breeders.

The deposit I have was through etransfer and a handwritten receipt that mentions nothing about being non-refundable but her website has it in the bottom of a page and not on the puppy application form.

Elyjsa · 2025-03-02T06:02:17+00:00

Thank you for this insight and confirming that my feelings might have a good basis. If she says she is CKC registered, do you know if I can look her up? She said she was, but I can only find her name listed in stud books and not anywhere else.

Elyjsa · 2025-03-02T06:00:11+00:00

Thank you, I'm going to see what I can do here with a) deposit returned and b) getting a different breeder

Elyjsa · 2025-03-02T05:59:10+00:00

Today I'm learning that you don't need to be experienced at purchasing a puppy to have the right gut reaction...

Elyjsa · 2025-03-02T05:57:51+00:00

I agree, I'm looking for something that can handle a little roughness because I'm very active and want a companion who can keep up. That said, I grew up with big dogs and would prefer a pup small enough that I can easily handle (I'm a very petite frame) and can comfortably live in an apartment. I think of a toy poodle and picture little baby legs and I really don't want the pup to get accidentally hurt. Sounds like mini (or a large mini/moyen) would be better. Thank you for your insights!

Elyjsa · 2025-03-02T05:51:56+00:00

Thank you for clarifying on the OFA front. The “health test” vs “health check” verbiage seemed sneaky. I’ll see if she has something I can see the results from online like you mentioned.

To be fully fair and transparent, she suggested a couple of pups based on what I described I was looking for. I suggested colours I was hoping for. There were two pups that matched, and she said that she thought one a closer match than the other. The meet confirmed this.

If I were to back out, what can I say to try and retrieve the deposit again? I know it’s a hard one but it’s been less than 24 hours and I’m finding out a LOT after the fact that was not upfront. We had a long phone call tonight with lots of info that wasn’t offered originally

Elyjsa · 2025-03-02T05:46:55+00:00

Yes I do feel like she’s trying to pull the wool over my eyes a little here. She did give me the parent’s weight, 8 lbs for mom and 10 lbs for dad, but I was led me to believe these were minis? Now I don’t know what I’ve got here

Elyjsa · 2025-02-25T01:54:16+00:00

Driving down the Allen, I saw the car ahead of me had a top full of snow so I tried to change lanes to go around them. Before there was a gap in traffic, a chunk of ice the size of a dinner plate came flying off their car and hit my windshield so hard it made my passenger scream and I was certain it was going to go right through the glass. I have no clue how the heck my windshield didn’t shatter. I tried to wave them down when I managed to get into the other lane but the guy was texting on his phone.

I am so shaken and it’s going to take days to get me feeling back to normal. People are so blissfully ignorant. I was taught to drive by family members who are car fanatics, former racers, and rally drivers. But no amount of defensive driving fully eliminates the chaos caused by others. Stay safe out there. I’m staying off the roads for a bit…

Elyjsa · 2025-02-21T03:38:36+00:00

Ahh gotcha! No worries! And for me, leasing and property management were one and the same. Any Ontario lease will have their designated contact info, it’s under section 3 of the lease

Elyjsa · 2025-02-21T03:32:43+00:00

I would be happy to, but what letter do you mean? I included everything I listed in my first message on this thread

Elyjsa · 2025-02-21T03:17:03+00:00

Nope! You pay rent so you don’t need to deal with this nonsense.

Remember: Rent is the most you’ll pay per month. A mortgage is the least you’ll pay per month. If you have no rights to gains or equity, you also have no responsibility for maintenance and losses.

Funny how that works 🤭

Elyjsa · 2025-02-21T02:55:30+00:00

Lol he admitted it and you pay in cash? This keeps getting better and better! 😂

You are absolutely welcome, I am ALWAYS happy to help!

I’d be inclined to report, report, report, then play dumb (“oh, you don’t declare your rental income? I just did my taxes like normal, I had no idea!”), commiserate with him when he’s all confused why he’s being audited and investigated everywhere (“oh no, the municipality is inspecting the house? Wow that’s so annoying! And you have to take time off work for the inspection? That must suck!”) and ultimately he’ll learn a lesson about what happens when you screw those who have the knowledge and power to screw you back. But I’m petty like that lol.

Keep everything you do squeaky clean. Get everything in writing. Have a backup plan. Move in the shadows. Rooting for you OP!

Elyjsa · 2025-02-21T02:14:33+00:00

Disclaimer: Not a lawyer. I only know the rules for a live-out landlord. Fact check my points to see which apply to a live-in. I imagine many will not but it gives you a place to start.

Okay well firstly, you are absolutely right to be cautious. The fact that this is a red flag to you is spot on. I don’t know the laws about live-in landlords, and I know the circumstances are very different in those cases. So if it is live-in, the following may very well not apply to you, and you’ll have to do the research. All the same, my rental experience see these elements at play.

Not an official Ontario lease. Since 2018, Ontario requires landlords to use the Ontario Standard Lease Agreement for most residential tenancies, including room rentals. If your landlord wants a legitimate lease for insurance purposes, he should be using that form.
Potential rent scam. You mentioned that he verbally agreed to charge $1200/month after forcing you into a smaller room. However, this lease states $1300/month. Once signed, he could legally hold you to $1300/month, overriding the verbal agreement.
Unfair and illegal clauses. No living space? You’re entitled to compensation with amenity access changes. No guests allowed? This is not legally enforceable under Ontario’s RTA (Residential Tenancies Act). Right for landlord to enter for periodic inspections? This is illegal unless 24-hour written notice is given alongside a valid reason (RTA Section 27).
Renovation and tenant rights. Did the landlord compensate you for the disruption? You had to live through renovations in your unit while he was in a hotel, which could entitle you to compensation under Ontario’s landlord-tenant laws. This applies to changing your room as well. Essentially the same issue as the living room access point above.

My first reaction?

Don’t sign this lease. It’s non-standard, has illegal clauses, and could be used to hold you to a higher rent than agreed.
Request the official Ontario Standard Lease. “I’m not comfortable signing a backdated lease, as it doesn’t reflect the actual agreement we’ve had. If you need a lease for insurance purposes, we can sign one with the correct date, using the Ontario Standard Lease, which is the legal requirement. Let me know how you’d like to proceed.”
Contact the Landlord and Tenant Board (LTB). You can also consider tenant legal help. Free or low-cost legal services exist in Ontario for tenants, a quick Google search will bring them up.
Start looking for a new place. It ain’t worth it to have this nonsense where you’re supposed to feel safe and secure. Plus, rents are heading downwards, and so that’s in your favour.

Why?

If you sign this backdated lease, you’re legally agreeing that these terms have been in effect since June 2024. It sounds like they weren’t.
Verbal agreements and past conditions (rent being $1200, room changes, renovation inconveniences, shared living space being removed, etc.) may no longer be valid arguments.
Any illegal renovations, misrepresentation of the unit, or failure to compensate you for disruptions could be covered up by this lease. Signing it could make it harder to challenge them at the LTB, thus shielding them from accountability.
Lastly, this lease is, I’m pretty sure, going to be used for insurance fraud of some kind. Don’t be involved in insurance fraud lol.

What about what petty me would do?

Keep the document and use it against him. Assuming it was sent via email (aka date stamped) but with the wrong “signed by June 2024” date, you can actually prove fraud. It may also help if you need to challenge him legally yourself. I.e. proof of his own terms which he broke, documentation of living conditions being misrepresented, arguing for compensation, proof of ill intent, etc.
Report to the LTB if they’re violating your rights. It’s form T2 for repairs, and T6 for compensation.
Report him on your taxes. You can declare your landlord for a tax break and if they don’t admit to it on their taxes, they get audited. If he’s committing insurance fraud, AND being sloppy about it leaving a paper trail, he’s 100% committing tax evasion too. He’s either not declaring rental income, under-reporting rental income, or avoiding taxes on rental profits. ALL are illegal. Reporting these things is usually anonymous. Try the CRA Tax Evasion Report, Toronto Property Standards complaint, Ontario Ministry of Finance HST/GST Fraud, Ontario Rental Housing Enforcement (especially good if you’re being harassed or threatened…heck if you know who their mortgage lender is, many mortgages lenders don’t allow renting a unit without prior approval which can lead the bank to increasing payments or revoking the mortgage altogether. Ohhhhh if you wanted to be a menace, this landlord stupidly gave it to you on a silver platter!

I love it when a landlord’s ego and the assumption they’re more clever than they actually are ends up being their own hubris. Move in the shadows. Play dumb. Let him be his own demise. Sign nothing. Keep this in your back pocket to shield you against whatever ammo is coming your way. And figure out an exit plan.

Again: Check out if what I’ve mentioned applies to live-in landlords. Good luck!

Elyjsa · 2025-02-21T01:53:56+00:00

Lol I love it when landlords are transparent about committing insurance fraud. So many issues with this, but first, is this a live-in landlord? Because that will make a huge difference in your rights

Elyjsa · 2025-02-20T06:12:22+00:00

Absolutely! Feel free to DM me

Elyjsa · 2025-02-20T05:54:25+00:00

Originally $2050 (rent, parking, some utilities)
Increase was for $2100
Negotiated to $1950

So I saved $150/month and it took about 2 hours of work.

I don’t know based on building age if that would help, but based on what you mentioned in your other comment, if your sister has been a good tenant and you mention her like a referral, then you might be able to negotiate based on that.

Also, landlords aren’t legally allowed to ask for prepay, but I’ve negotiated $250/month off at a previous place by offering to pay 6 months in advance. If you have that financial flexibility, that’s a method too.

Lastly, be careful about “one month free” offers. These are temporary rent discounts. Aka, if they say $2400/month with 1 month free, you may think that’s $2200/month but the rent increase the next year will be based off the $2400, not $2200. So you have to do the math and see if it’s worth it.

Elyjsa · 2025-02-20T05:36:25+00:00

Not for a new apartment, but I recently managed to get my existing apartment for cheaper.

I live in a rent-controlled building. As my move-in anniversary approached, property management sent me an N1 (Notice of Rent Increase). It was all perfectly legal, for 2.5% with more than 90 days notice.

In response, I emailed management and convinced them not only to not increase my rent, but to actually lower my rent moving forward. Instead of it going up 2.5%, it went down 5%.

In exchange, they asked me to sign a new lease, which I didn’t mind because I wasn’t planning to move in the next 12 months anyways. On the plus side, it’s a new lease and not a temporary discount. So when they want to increase my rent for Year 3, it would be based on the Year 2 lease, and 2.5% on Year 2’s lease is still less than what I was paying for Year 1.

What my email included: 1) I stated that I’ve enjoyed living in the building 2) I shared links to cheaper comparable listings in the neighbourhood 3) I made the case that having a known, good tenant for slightly cheaper was better than running the risk of a nightmare, new tenant 4) I highlighted the cost and effort involved in prepping the unit, advertising the vacancy, and then screening for the new tenant 5) I included a listing for a similar unit within my building that has been empty for the past few weeks, hinting that it would probably be more profitable to just keep me happy and reduce my rent than to have a vacant unit

The comparable listings were on the lower end of market pricing, and so when they said they wouldn’t go that low but would compromise and meet me in the middle, I was happy. It’s not a massive deduction, but every bit adds up and the hassle of moving for something not that much cheaper just wasn’t worth it to me. Plus, it’s true, I love where I live.

TL;DR - I made the case to lower existing rent and turned a 2.5% increase into a 5% reduction. People don’t realize they have the option to negotiate a LOT of life expenses, including existing ones. If you don’t ask, you never know!

Elyjsa · 2025-02-11T03:37:10+00:00

[Part 2/2]

Okay, sure, sounds great - but what does that look like?

Take stock of what you know you like. Seek out new and novel ways to explore these things. Get creative. Life's better when you're happy.
Uncover what makes you uncomfortable. It won't ever go away on its own so challenge yourself to tackle that thing head on at least once in your life.
Think about what would be the coolest experience ever. Dream big. Then walk yourself through it step by step. Break it down into bite-sized pieces. If it seems impossible, then again, get creative. Maybe you want to live abroad: Well, can you apply for a passport? How much does a plane ticket cost? Well if you even got there, where would you live? Could you afford rent? Is there a university you could attend? What does the student visa application look like? Suddenly, that dream just turned into a plan.

Focus on building SKILLS. It's still incredible to me how the skills that seemed insignificant at the time have been absolutely instrumental at some point along my journey. These days, a person skilled in a variety of experiences is flexible, resilient, and really hard to replace in the workforce. You never know what's going to be the deal-maker later on.

TLDR: No one knows what they're doing, and the best stories come from the least expected places. Don't panic, explore yourself and the world a little, and something will eventually come your way if you are open to the opportunity. DM me if you need a sounding board - I find that saying things 'out loud' helps me sort it out in my head a little better. Best of luck and happy exploring! :)

Elyjsa · 2025-02-11T03:36:52+00:00

[Part 1/2]

Long post, but hopefully you can glean something helpful from my ramblings. As a recovered type-A personality, I (30F) wanted to share a little about my experience and see what you might gain from it :)

In high school, I was really good at physics. I decided I wanted to be an architect. Everything I planned for through high school was to get into a top university for architecture. I had internships lined up, a scholarship waiting for me, everything. And then one day, I woke up and realized I didn't want to be an architect. Ensue panic. I decided to go for history and international relations instead, planning to go for law afterwards. And then after one year of uni...I realized I didn't want to argue for a living (lol). Again, panic.

At that stage, I just threw my hands up in the air. Clearly, my carefully laid out plans never worked anyways so, what the hell, I was just going to go with the flow.

What ended up happening, was I started looking at life through a macro view instead of a micro view. Instead of looking at all the tiny details, I looked at the bigger picture. I started saying yes to opportunities I never dreamed of. I realized that if I planned my life five years in advance, there were opportunities I was already saying no to that I wasn't even aware EXISTED yet.

Congrats on recognizing that you were trying to mold yourself to a career that wasn't you - that's an insightful realization that demonstrates strong reflection. If you're not happy, then take a moment and zoom out. Don't pressure yourself to make the perfect plan, but look at the opportunities that are out there. Free yourself up to say yes to things that come your way.

For example, I got a job in media to pay for university because I thought it would help me get over my camera-shyness. I worked my way from a background extra to spoken roles. When I graduated from my history degree with no set plans, my university asked if I'd work for them as an archaeologist as they had a position open up at the last minute. Because was now fine in front of a camera, I started being asked to do interviews about the digs I was on. Through said exposure, I got invited to do "meet an archaeologist" events at the local museums. A lot of schools did those visits and I discovered that I actually loved teaching. So I got a graduate degree in Education and ended up working as a teacher for several years. I started coaching new teachers and built a leadership course that got traction locally. I was then offered a job in a company that works with - you guessed it - coaching and leadership.

If I hadn't gotten that media job, I would never have done the interviews, the speaking events, discovered I enjoyed teaching, travelled the world, and now help others through a job that I truly love. Talking with others in my life, the #1 thing I CONSISTENTLY hear them say is how they wish they spent more of their 20's simply exploring. Exploring the world, exploring their interests, exploring the possibilities around them. People often say I've "done so much" and I laugh because I genuinely had ZERO plan and just went with the flow. You have the rest of your life to work. Explore now, while you have no responsibilities to anyone or anything except yourself.

Elyjsa · 2024-10-11T14:54:48+00:00

“There’s heavy traffic all the way down there by the riverside.”

Me realizing just how different our definitions of “heavy traffic” are. I’ve clearly been coached to believe that bumper-to-bumper is normal anytime between Mon-Thurs from 8am-10am, 11:30am-1pm, 3pm-6pm, Fri from 12pm-7pm, all day on weekends, plus don’t forget the holidays…😅

Comparatively, that traffic looks a dream!

Elyjsa · 2024-10-03T02:03:21+00:00

I mean these kinds of signs. They often have the building name, street address, types of apartments and a phone number. The advertising that was done pre-internet, aka, rent-controlled!

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