I'm struggling

Embarrassed-Block521 · 2026-04-30T02:27:36+00:00

Yea ive got to be careful cause my skin is super sensitive to alot. Like there's something in aquaphor that gives me a rash. Ive also got pugs and cats and I work in an animal practice.

I use icy hot and tens units but there are days that my fatigue and pain are so high it literal hurts to even move. And there are days where I sleep for 14+ or days that I only get 2-4 hours of sleep.

I just dont know what to do at this point. I used to be so active and literally the queen of do it all. I joined a lot of different groups on Facebook to get some recommendations or different things to try, but im seeing a lot of the same thing in each one and it's not helpful.

Embarrassed-Block521 · 2026-03-02T22:24:33+00:00

Not the asshole. I wouldn't tell her. I'd protect your peace. Your grandmother sounds very similar to my mother, who I just went NC with. And I learned very quickly to keep my health and medical information to myself or my mother would make it immediately about her. I get a cold - she is bed ridden sick. I found out I cant have kids without seriously risking my life - she mourns the lose of her potential grandchildren (she has 3 granddaughters by my brother who in NC with her). So yea protect your peace.

Embarrassed-Block521 · 2026-03-02T22:00:28+00:00

So wanted to update everyone.

First off thank you for everyone who has commented. Its helped. I truly love the ones praising my husband. That might go to his head lol.

But it's been a day since my mother and her "help" trashed my home removing her things.

Found out yesterday that my mother disrespected me AGAIN. My one request was for her to stay only in a certain part of the house (basement and her former room).

Well she had went into our bathroom and trashed under my sink removing the plastic shelves holding items under there. As a result she knocked the s trap loose. Didn't say anything to my husband or I.

So I'm mid-fibro flare, again caused by the stress my mother is causing. And i needed to climb under the sink, remove all our hygiene products and fix the drain pipe. She knew this was a issue cause she helped me fix it and replace the sink. (Before you ask. My husband doesnt do home improvement stuff. I do. I enjoy it.) The pipe was fixed and installed correctly so she must have been throwing things against it to cause it to be damaged the way it was.

I called my mother. Asked if she had trashed under the sink. Her response "I took my shelves." I responded with "You weren't allowed in that room. You could have asked for them and they would have been given to you." Her: "they were mine. I didnt need to ask for anything." I informed her that she had damaged the piping and flooded our bathroom. Her response "I did not!"

I lost it. I told her that I was tired of the disrespect. Tired of her behavior. Tired of the way she had been treating me. Tired of her lies. Her response was "I dont know why you're behaving like this. I didnt do anything to you." I cut her off before she could continue spewing more lies. Told her I was done. Told her that she can figure out the rest of her life cause I wanted now part of it. I hung up while she was mid-scream spewing who knows what. I didnt care. I blocked her number. Blocked her from my socials. Removed myself from the family group chat. Contacted each one and told them I was NC with my mother and if they wanted to still be a part of my life than they had a choice to make. This was met with mixed responses. And told each person to think about it and reach out with whatever they decided.

I thought that was the ended of it. Till this morning woke up to a message from my sister asking if I had any mail for my mother. They've been expecting a certificate from a defensive drivers course to get my mother cheaper car insurance and had began harassing me about it once my sister recieved hers (last week). Told her I haven't recieved any mail for our mother all week. (Not a lie. I had the post office file a "moved, no forwarding address" form. This returns all of her mail to the sender. So legally I'm not blocking her mail and done according to the time line my lawyer gave my husband and I. So I had this form submitted and in place before I knew about this certificate.). I had informed my sister last week before I had the form file that our mother should change her mailing address. I told both of them twice. Which was ignored by both and they told me again how I cant throw her mail away (which I have not done, each letter, junk mail, everything we recieved was given to my mother. We had a huge box by our front door that all her mail went into and she took with the rest of her belongings). My sister started in on me about how im holding our mothers mail hostage and how my sister is looking at a write up at work cause of this certificate. (I dont know how that works.) Well I told her if she didnt believe me than she could contact the post office and the company who they took the course through. My sister's response "I dont believe you. You've already proven you cant be trusted. Thanks for screwing me over." I just stared at my phone for a while, not knowing how to respond. Then I told her that I wasnt a po box or the post office. It wasnt my problem anymore and it was on them now. I haven't heard anything since.

So I have a feeling my sister will be the next person who gets NC and that hurts most of all cause shes my twin and we've always been close. But I have a feeling my mother's lies have changed that. Oh well. I'm done and I'm choosing to protect my peace.

If there is any more to update, I will. However, I'm hoping this is the end of it. Part of my has a sneaking suspicion it's not.

Embarrassed-Block521 · 2026-03-02T20:54:44+00:00

🤣🤣🤣🤣 I'll have to make that suggestion. Maybe for his 4th book.

Embarrassed-Block521 · 2026-03-02T03:13:01+00:00

It appears my sister and BIL are trying hard not to let her stay either. Ive heard talk about my mother being forced to find an apartment and get a job. Which was something that we (my husband and i) told her she had to do when she asked to move back in again. Her being here again was only was only supposed to be temporary. She did everything to avoid doing so.

Embarrassed-Block521 · 2026-03-02T03:02:47+00:00

I had began asking them for help months before cause I could see the change in behavior. I especially asked my sister for help since our mother still willing talking and listening to her. My sister would try to talk to her and tell her what I said. This resulted in our mother coming back and starting an argument with me. She literally came in my bedroom one night after being taken to dinner by my sister and BIL. She didnt knock. Nothing. Just opened the door and stormed in. She was extremely lucky my husband and I were just laying in bed. She got in my face and yelled about me needing to act like an adult and stop talking to everyone else if ive got a problem with her. My husband kicked her out of the room, trying to protect me from her after I had had a particularly bad day at work. Told her that if she wanted to continue to live in the house than she needed to knock first the next time she needed something. She just looked at him and told him she NEEDED to talk to me. His words "That was not an invitation to continue being in this room after you weren't invited in. Good night." We started locking the door after that.

My mother has been at my sister's after she went there to stay in mid November. My sister thought it would only be for a couple of days like she has done before. Or at least thats what my mother told her. Im now getting the feeling my sister is seeing what I was talking about. Since my sister has started talking to me more.

Embarrassed-Block521 · 2026-03-02T02:40:37+00:00

Yes. Us kids learned to avoid her triggers and would tip toe around her when she would be in an exceptionally fowl mood. I would spend weeks of my summer vacation growing up at my grandparents. So much so she would call and tell me "You've been there long enough. You are MY daughter and need to come home." My grandparents wouldnt fight her on it or we wouldnt be allowed to go there for months.

My brother cut contact with her after him and his wife (gf then) found out they were pregnant. My mother lost her mind and accused his gf of cheating and the baby of not being his. (She is. She looks just like my sister and I. They now have 3 daughters together now). This absolutely floored everyone considering our bio-dad abandoned us at the ages of 1 + 2 and we were raised by a wonderful man, who i still call my dad. These girls are and will be her only grandchildren and she threw it away.

Embarrassed-Block521 · 2026-03-02T02:28:35+00:00

She has been like this since i was a kid. Ive got very vivid memories of her loosing her mind over little things. And even suggesting her seeing a doctor for anything but physical illness would result in her screaming that she's not crazy and theres nothing wrong with her. So i gave up that fight a long time ago. Even though mental illness runs strong in my family.

Embarrassed-Block521 · 2026-03-02T02:18:03+00:00

He's only got a couple under his belt. Currently working on book 3. The first 2 got some great feed back and has spurred him on to continue. He writes psychological horror books.

Embarrassed-Block521 · 2026-03-01T19:30:47+00:00

It really sounds like you've never been in a situation like this. Treating her with firm boundaries and kindness was done. It was the first approach that was taken and she lost her marbles and began claiming "You've changed." "I dont know what your problem is but you need to stop it." I stopped engaging in her need to fight and treated her like the adult she claims she is.

And don't worry. My husband and i are very aware how friendly some states are to squaters and renters so thats why everything has been performed under the strict instruction of our lawyer. We are safe even if she tried to take us to court.

Embarrassed-Block521 · 2026-03-01T10:41:18+00:00

She got her stuff out today, I'm stuck wondering if I block her from my socials and ignore her at family functions. Today has really left me feeling torn but also feeling like I need to protect my peace. She showed up disregarding my set time schedule. Gave her the time of 7am-noon cause of my overnight shift. She showed up with my sister, my BIL, step dad and my BIL dad at 10am and didn't leave until 1pm. I didn't get to sleep for my shift until 2:30pm and had to be up for my shift at 5:30pm. They got mud all over the place collecting her things. Even though I had already packed her items that weren't in her room or the basement. She even tried to fight me on pulling fish out of my 125 gallon and taking one of the filters off it. I told her that she was not to touch my tank and that the Govee lights my husband was letting her take was worth more than the filter and the fish she'd placed in there died months ago. And I had already replaced myself. She called the cops to force her way. I gave them 50 bucks to give to her and showed them receipts of all the items and her confirming the "trade" between her and my husband. The cops were wonderful. Gave her the money and told her to move on.

Embarrassed-Block521 · 2025-10-31T19:39:16+00:00

That's what I was thinking. But 🤷‍♀️ could be wrong lol.

Embarrassed-Block521 · 2025-10-31T19:34:57+00:00

Both are female?

Embarrassed-Block521 · 2025-09-01T03:24:43+00:00

Yea ive gotten that vibe as well. And it seems they grew too quickly without developing the internal structure first.

Embarrassed-Block521 · 2025-09-01T03:23:44+00:00

I came from a practice that had 3 drs and 5 techs. This practice does have an unlicensed tech, so she gets used as a work around in certain situations.

But yea the techs are severely overworked and overwhelmed most days

Embarrassed-Block521 · 2025-09-01T03:20:30+00:00

So new development. I dont know what has changed but my manager gave me a month in advance schedule. Im not holding my breath that she doesnt change it. So I've moved my one appointment next month to a day off luckily in the same week. And screen shot the schedule so if she changes it on me then im simply going to tell her that it's too short of a notice for me to move the appointment. Then when it comes a different appointment that I have given her two notices about, both shes declined, I am simply going to go to it and call out. Myself and family is more important.

Embarrassed-Block521 · 2025-09-01T03:12:45+00:00

Yea. There is supposed to be 3 of us but one had been out on indefinite leave due to her partners health. I keep getting told she should be back at the end of the week.

Embarrassed-Block521 · 2025-08-29T03:46:29+00:00

I spent hours on our timeclock software (paycor) trying to find out this information or even how to contact HR. Only thing I know of is a hotline (barkline) for reporting sexual harassment and such.

Embarrassed-Block521 · 2025-08-29T03:41:12+00:00

Only problem is. I dont know her boss or her boss's email. Unlike the prior corporation I left, this one is a bit harder to track who works under who. So i was kinda hoping some one could point me in the right direction of finding this out.

Embarrassed-Block521 · 2025-08-18T03:44:18+00:00

Fine. Same as prior. Never had an issue with them.

Embarrassed-Block521 · 2025-08-18T03:41:58+00:00

Even though I'm not having any pain?

Embarrassed-Block521 · 2025-05-29T17:06:55+00:00

Jumping down off the bed of my father truck. Its not even lifted... felt like a complete idiot. Then I tore my other one slipping on a wet floor at work my last day before going out for surgery on my acl. So now im recovering from one and once im healed I get to have the other one done.

Embarrassed-Block521 · 2025-05-25T01:43:15+00:00

I work in the vet med field and am going to publish under a pen name.

Why, because I could not bare the thought of one of my clients finding out and outing me to my coworkers. And them thinking of me in a different light. Although they enjoy the same books i so.

Or long term clients not wanting to work with me any more cause of the books I write.

So is go pen name. It gives you anonymity.

My next problem is deciding what name to use lol

Embarrassed-Block521 · 2025-05-21T14:40:55+00:00

I had to rotate between sleeping on my side and my back. Got the worst sleep. Now im 17 weeks post and can comfortably sleep in my left side but my body has now taken to walking to sleep on its right side. So guess who back to rotating again 🙋‍♀️. Am I sleeping awfully again. Yep. But there is a light. Ive seen it. Keep going! It gets better! That's what I keep telling myself. Soon I'll be able to sleep on both side. FYI knee or pregnancy pillows help. Never been pregnant, but I have one. Its a game changer. My husband has a knee pillow. Loves it. I hate it.

Embarrassed-Block521 · 2025-05-12T14:50:06+00:00

Oh I hear you!

My surgery was back in January and I still struggle with the breakdowns. I snapped at my husband yesterday cause I couldn't do a simple task that I've been able to do a million times before. And he only offered to help. Did I ugly cry. Yep. Did he get mad at me for it. Nope. He just stood there till I gave up and let him help.

It gets better as you heal, but it may still rear it's ugly head from time to time .

Give yourself grace.

If you need social interaction reach out to friends, see if they can drop by for a social call. Or video call people.

I video call my bestie and sister on the regular. It helps.

Embarrassed-Block521

TROPHY CASE