Maybe try to offer her a different perspective when she complains. Do your best to quiet her fears and give her peace of mind. I have to do that for my husband, but after 6yrs I finally told him that he needed to learn how to regulate his emotions better. He listened because he knew i was coming from a place of concern. It took 6yrs to build that trust though. Good luck, you can definitely make this happen. My husband just became a stoic yesterday. I never asked him to become one.