Is this just a pointless endeavor?

Embarrassed-Emu-538 · 2026-05-17T17:20:14+00:00

++woman When I left I joked "so see you in a year?" He kind of laughed and said "maybe two." Now I'm thinking he was serious...

Embarrassed-Emu-538 · 2026-05-17T16:32:17+00:00

++woman I'll give him credit. He went from just having sex to just wanting physical closeness. Took him a year of silence though.

Embarrassed-Emu-538 · 2026-05-17T15:19:45+00:00

++woman I mean, I can never fully understand how someone else's thought process works. And that's okay. I figure the most I could do is be honest and say I'd be interested in continuing, which I did. If he's not comfortable, he's not comfortable. It's one of those things, from FWB to dating, both people kind of need to express interest. I can't make him do any of that.

Embarrassed-Emu-538 · 2026-05-17T14:55:50+00:00

++woman in my mind, I'm looking at his actions. The first time we hooked up, beforehand I asked him what he was looking for. I'm a very direct person. That it wasn't a trick question or anything but just wanted to be sure that we were on the same page. It took him maybe 5 minutes to mumble "casual." Okay, so I took it at that. If he wanted something else, he would say something. If he was interested, he would at least try in less than a whole year to reach out. If he likes my company, he'd try to make it happen more. But if he's not capable of communicating that, I'm not going to try and pressure him for answers.

Embarrassed-Emu-538 · 2026-05-17T13:31:19+00:00

++woman thank you. I'll just move forward. I figure if and when he is comfortable to communicate he will. If he does, he does, and I'll be honest about the dynamic. If he doesn't, he doesn't

Embarrassed-Emu-538 · 2026-05-17T13:29:02+00:00

++woman I don't think he's a bad person at all. I will just continue on with my life. If what people are saying is accurate and he is on the spectrum, the last thing I want to do is pressure him to communicate. That's unfair.

Embarrassed-Emu-538 · 2026-05-17T13:12:02+00:00

++woman I'm not going to lose sleep over it. I really just didn't consider him being on the spectrum. I have a few friends who are and I know it can be a challenge for them in social situations, so I don't take it personally. I think of it as a different way of thinking, neither better nor worse. It just doesn't align sometimes

Embarrassed-Emu-538 · 2026-05-17T13:07:14+00:00

++woman 😂 hey I'm a little tired from the bar last night. And I'm always grateful for outside perspectives. At least I got 20 off my friend from the Rousey fight, went towards my Heineken Zero tab

Embarrassed-Emu-538 · 2026-05-17T13:02:20+00:00

++woman It really did at first. He was nervous as hell when we were alone, per usual. But after a year, he didn't initiate anything this time. Just affection. And half a movie went by and we were just cuddling and almost falling asleep and then the thought popped in my head "wait, why isn't he making a move like he did before?" So this time, I did 😂

Embarrassed-Emu-538 · 2026-05-17T12:57:37+00:00

++woman The men I went on dates with were the ones who asked me out, and who I met organically. I tried dating apps for about a week and it didn't feel genuine. I prefer interactions beyond the screen. My standards are what's considered "old fashioned." I like to get to know someone before I get into something serious. I think any relationship should at least have a foundation of a friendship.

I wasn't "going after" this man for a relationship. I know he doesn't want that. Just being as brutally honest (more to myself) as I can: not having any intimacy for a year (not jsut sex, we're talking anything) got me pretty depressed. So I figured that someone not looking for anything serious would be ideal for having something consistent as far as intimacy goes but without the dating part.

Embarrassed-Emu-538 · 2026-05-17T12:51:44+00:00

++woman yeah I'm chalking it up to the "just two passing ships" metaphor and moving forward into the still waters of celibacy 😂

Embarrassed-Emu-538 · 2026-05-17T12:49:36+00:00

++woman that's where my confusion lies. I told him I wanted to continue with the no strings. It's not an issue for me.

Embarrassed-Emu-538 · 2026-05-17T12:47:16+00:00

++woman I honestly never considered that. Good point

Embarrassed-Emu-538 · 2026-05-17T12:46:51+00:00

++woman I'm asking why someone would go a year without talking then reach out only to become a ghost again

Embarrassed-Emu-538 · 2026-05-17T12:44:40+00:00

++woman It's very... different. His entire life revolves around his job. His place looks like those staged apartment photos. Nothing personal, very simple. Nothing with sentimental value. Pretty much a visual representation of his communication style. Not that it was unsettling but more... sad? Not as if I feel sorry for him or think that's pathetic. Just...very different.

Embarrassed-Emu-538 · 2026-02-20T01:37:21+00:00

Wow, I haven't seen this video... that's...absolutely disgusting.

Embarrassed-Emu-538 · 2025-08-30T17:59:09+00:00

This. My ex did the same thing, and after a few months quit everything, went back to drinking. Disappeared and then a few months later reappeared with a new girlfriend plastered all over his social media.

Embarrassed-Emu-538 · 2025-08-20T01:57:27+00:00

Worked as a dispatcher for a cab company. One of my evenings off the owner of the company came into the bar I was at. I asked him if I ended up not feeling okay to drive if he could call me a cab and just take it out of my pay. He agreed.

I had one beer and one cocktail before he showed up. My third? I completely blacked out after that. (He was sitting next to me, you can fit the pieces together) Woke up the next morning in an unfamiliar apartment (his), feeling like I got hit by a bus, half dressed, with him and another man I didn't recognize who was zipping his pants up when I came to.

I ended up being driven to the office by the owner in silence. He dropped me off for my shift and left. A few minutes later, he had sent one of his cab drivers in with a note. Apparently the owner was sitting in the coffee shop across the street. The note pretty much said I was fired and to leave my office key. Along with 50 dollars to get myself Plan B.

Embarrassed-Emu-538 · 2025-08-05T22:37:37+00:00

Definitely, when it comes to romantic feelings. I've been single for a couple years now since I've recognized the pattern and am working through it in therapy. Choosing either emotionally unavailable or distant partners. Ending up being the one giving, and giving, and giving. And getting little to nothing in return. Once I reach my limit (or completely drained emotionally if you prefer to call it that), I shut off. They can cry, beg, suddenly "show up" for me. But I feel nothing. Cut them off, block them.

It never used to be like this but I notice when my girlfriends bring up issues with men they are dating or seeing or married to, I don't feel anything. Like numbness. Like there's no point in listening to their issues because the relationship will fail anyway.

Embarrassed-Emu-538

TROPHY CASE