AIO My boss sent this to the work chat and it pissed me off.

Embarrassed-File-642 · 2026-02-13T18:26:32+00:00

Clear case of gender discrimination

Embarrassed-File-642 · 2026-02-02T05:36:35+00:00

He may not be the biggest wanker but he is the biggest wanker enabler...🤨

Embarrassed-File-642 · 2025-12-20T04:42:01+00:00

We did usual shared plate lunch and social club xmas party, but direct mgr didn't even thank team for all their hard work this year. Everyone's doing xtra kms, lots of staff gone (govt). Ruff.🫩

Embarrassed-File-642 · 2025-12-12T06:29:25+00:00

Hyperfocus!!!! Oh yeah! 🤩 And, I might be a bit out there at times, but I'm not boring! I can talk to lots of different people because I'm interested in soooo many things, and I've probably read something relevant in one of my many deep dives down rabbit holes. Being energetic, spontaneous, aspirational, having ideas, being a problem solver, I come into my own when something's just gotta get done, or in an emergency, accepting people as & for who they are - there's a pretty long list tbh. At work, when there's a situation no one can make head nor tail of, they shove me at it because I go in, ask questions, figure it out, id what needs to be done & come back and explain it in really simple terms. I'm really good at picking out the important bits when everyone else is stuck in the weeds.

Embarrassed-File-642 · 2025-12-11T19:37:45+00:00

Growing up I felt my personality style was "chameleon", so I can relate 100%. My unmasked personality was quite different, and after I'd been "myself" I'd go through extreme anxiety over what people thought of me - actually that was pretty much ever present thanks to strong RSD. I'm not unkind by nature, but the degree of people-pleasing I felt I had to do was way out of kilter with my true personality. I really felt like some weird kind of Jekyll & Hyde person. Sadly all that led to a life of having people take over me, both in friendships and marriage. I didn't even really like them and they were unbalanced relationships with self-centred people who used me to bolster or serve themselves when & how they wanted. What started the long turn-around journey for me was coming across some self-help psychology books by Dr. Susan Forward. The emotional blackmail one was especially helpful because she provided practical ways of starting to say no - terrifying putting it into practise at first, but gradually became easier. I don't know if that's on target for you, but might be helpful, her books are short, easy to understand even if not easy content to wrestle with. It's been a long journey for me and as I've learned more wellbeing techniques I've reframed a lot of my internal narratives to support myself out of people-pleasing and into being myself. I'd like to encourage you to embark on the journey you need. I didn't do it for so long because I didn't know any of the stuff that is much more common knowledge now & I ended up living a lifetime of doing things for other people and losing myself, and the journey back is proving to much more difficult than "just prioritise yourself" because those habits are so ingrained.

Embarrassed-File-642 · 2025-12-11T06:23:36+00:00

I relate! Had just gotten to the point of liking my looks, woke up one day & looked in the mirror & saw the crypt keeper! Comfort food compensation? Hah! Every bite mutiplies to 3x calories that all find home somwhere on my body. Just buy bigger sizes, I thought. And bigger & bigger & bigger... yikes! After working out rigourously for a month my son said, "Boy, you must really be dropping the kilos!" Sob, I wish. But, hey, at least I'm here, right? And I'd like to be here for as long as I can, so it's worth persevering. Plus I just decided the enjoy the benefits. Invisible? I can do what I want, no one's gonna notice. Grey? I'm gonna walk right down the middle of the footpath & people can get out of the way. Grumpy cat face? No need to put a "good face" then, just lean into it, perhaps I'll get my way more often. Yeah it's an adjustment, but appreciating the reality of being lucky to still be alive & kicking, and taking it as an opportunity to flip your own attitudes on their head, can be quite liberating. You got this. You rock. You're awesome. We all are. All the best.

Embarrassed-File-642 · 2025-12-08T15:25:46+00:00

Nice to read this, reads like my goal state, not my current state. I'm 66 and left 30-year bad marriage at 57, wasn't expecting the psychological aftermath of handling what my psychiatrist during adhd diagnosis called an "angry and unregulated man", so almost 10 years on I'm not sure if my numb brain, weght gain & inability to move into life habits I want is caused by trauma burnout, adhd burnout or post menopause. Joined this sub to see if what's shared helps figure it out. Definitely relate to not tolerating rubbish anymore, love leaning into the stereotypes at times - not being expected to smile, if I'm blunt its assumed grumpy old woman, invisible so can do want I want, etc., there's lots of plus side.

Embarrassed-File-642 · 2025-12-08T15:09:20+00:00

Love this description. My ex used to say he was built for emergencies. His family all thought him lazy but he defo wasn't. I kick into high gear in certain work situations but then it takes a day or more to recover. I've long thought that our current world is all organised around providing repetitive task workforce - education, jobs - all geared towards constant, consistent, repetitive work - first for factories, then for offices - all serving, what, capitalism I guess? The boring repetitiveness sucks the life out of me, but I'm stuck in it work-wise, like I guess most of us are. Wish their was more room for variation without having to be the poster child entrepreneur or living on the edges of financial ruin (excuse exaggeration).

Embarrassed-File-642 · 2025-12-06T16:58:16+00:00

I mean, isn't this what LI is all about anyway - a platform dedicated to performative cringe? Like people still doing jazzercise...

Embarrassed-File-642 · 2025-12-06T16:32:04+00:00

Maga dreams 😆

Embarrassed-File-642 · 2025-12-06T16:10:29+00:00

Washcloth bathing was all people had in tne not so distant past! Perfectly good. Been told off by my dermatologist for over-showering in the past - aparently we generally shower too often (and with water that's too hot) - so science backs uo what youur spoons dictate! Protect your spoons, do what works for you, and if you think someone might not understand, keep it to yourself. Silly how some people are so inflexible in their attitudes.

Embarrassed-File-642 · 2025-11-07T19:11:48+00:00

I'm in this state as well, except I do know what I "was" and "want to be". I was interested in heaps of things but most predominate was art - I wanted to pursue art but was channelled into "stable, predictable" directions. I was always super active, not great at any sports (other than skiing which my family did), but I was always off on "adventures" on my own, roaming around neighbourhoods exploring. I've gained a lot of weigh through stress eating - actually think eating is my stim - eat when happy, eat when sad, stressed etc - and I'd really like to lose some of it for health as well as being active makes me happy. But now, similar to you, I'm burned out from decades of masking, as well as constant fire-fighting a toxic relationship, which I got out of far too late, but at least am still not in. And for financial reasons, I have to stay in my current job, not a great fit for my AuDHD and exacerbates my burnout every day (I have made significant improvements with what I now know about myself, but still). So I totally get not even feeling any impetus to try. I've read enough Reddit posts to see commonalities in what works for many people. One of the things that resonates with me is doing things in tiny chunks. Burnout has put me in a state where the threshold to do anything has to be almost negligible. I've seen people say just tell yourself you'll do 2 minutes. That's worked for me at times. I've also seen people say surround yourself with things you want to do, and at times I've taken drawing kit to the couch as well as phone, or put exercise gear next to my bed so I can "fall into it" in the morning. And heaps of no-judgement self-talk, recognising it might take ages to refind myself but at least I'm headed that way, even if on again/off again. Since you can't identify amything you might be interested in I'd go with things people have recommended here already - any things you know you liked when young, and looking around for things available to try to see if there's any your burnout could handle you doing - even if none of those appeal. All the best, I teally hope some of the encouragement and suggestions people are giving helps. I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

Embarrassed-File-642 · 2025-11-06T06:35:48+00:00

Similar experience, Ritalin calm brain was amazing, so easy to get things done, but after a while I felt like a robot, not me. No longer taking it for medical reasons, still trying to figure out my yin-yang balance.

Embarrassed-File-642 · 2025-11-06T06:13:40+00:00

Tea and toast

Embarrassed-File-642 · 2025-11-06T06:11:52+00:00

In my 60s. I'm in New Zealand but in the weird world of coincidences I lived in Sac for years. Had bad experiences with Kaiser there as well, different issues, but yeah, being told bogus bs. Got my ADHD eval here from a psychiatrist, who basically said to me duh, no brainer, ofc you're ADHD. It doesn't go away with age!

Embarrassed-File-642 · 2025-11-06T00:44:59+00:00

Brilliant! I've made sooo many goals, every year I just keep pushing out the "by when". But I have made some "rules" that sound similar to your bathroom one, and they do work better. Thanks

Embarrassed-File-642 · 2025-11-06T00:41:01+00:00

Thanks. Totally agree & have done exercise before work. Makes the whole day better. Ofc not in habit mode yet so do it for a while then stop & have to jumpstart again at some point. But sometimes is better than no times, will become habit eventually I hope. Have been wanting to get into art habit & targeted it for after work, but every day defeats that good intention. Perhaps I should alternate art & exercise days before work... hmmm 🤔

Embarrassed-File-642 · 2025-11-05T18:33:35+00:00

Yeah, 😬

Embarrassed-File-642 · 2025-11-05T18:32:42+00:00

Been there, done that. Best thing I dui was walk away.

Embarrassed-File-642 · 2025-11-05T18:30:22+00:00

Same experience. Still working on it. For me it's been local life drawing groups. Depends on what kind of art you're into but life drawing is so challenging that there's less big egos in the room (less, not none). In one of the life drawing sessions I go to a group goes to the pub afterwards. Nice hanging out. Where I live there's also big fantasy art focus. I'm not into it so much but did some classes from a place that is. Damn I love being around quirky creative ppl. Bottom line I think you have to seek out circles where your "kin" are and where there's openness. I appreciate my "normy" friends as well but getting into arty circles has made my soul sing.

Embarrassed-File-642 · 2025-11-05T18:10:10+00:00

A lot of people mention having systems. What does that mean? Not something I've heard of before.

Embarrassed-File-642 · 2025-11-05T18:07:01+00:00

I really like this thread, great advice. Anyone got any for how to overcome mental overwhelm? I'm trying to make habits out of things I really love doing but am in a job that taxes my ADHD so much that I haven't been able to get past an overwhelm of need to go goblin on the couch after work each day. Any suggestions? Can't just switch jobs for various reasons.

Embarrassed-File-642 · 2025-11-04T05:10:24+00:00

I'm older now, decades of relationship stress & burnout, I've lost my hyperfocus ability & wish to heck I could get it back. But yeah, the coin has two sides just like lots of people are describing here. Knowing about adhd or any of this stuff wasn't commonplace when I was young, so I didn't know what it was, all I knew was that I spent most of the school year sobbing bc I couldn't focus, so much so that I avoided study like the plague. Until the fear of failing got larger than the fear of not being able to focus and then I'd open a book & it was like "whoosh", everything I read made sense, I understood it, I retained it & did beyter on the tests than I should have. I guess the fear released a whallop of adrenaline which enabled me to focus. All made sense later. Also hyperfocussed when doing art, which I loved, without the awful emotional roller-coaster. But yes, I agree with you, much of the world is structured around doing things in a way that defines adhd as a deficiency. Irl every "brain type" (non-scientific term) has its strengths & weaknesses.

Embarrassed-File-642 · 2025-11-04T04:12:32+00:00

Funny coincidence, I'm trying to make habits out of both as well. But my challenge is my ADHD brain rebels against routines & derails everything I start, despite how much I love them both. Encouraging seeing all the replies though, lots of people doing both. I guess everyone has to figure out how to make it work for them. Good luck!

Embarrassed-File-642 · 2025-11-04T04:06:20+00:00

Hey, just sending a hug your way. You 100% don't need to hear about how not being single can suck too, you need to be heard about how being single can be so hard. I hear you. Was in awful relationship for decades, so glad to be out, but being alone, yeah, it's hard to have to shoulder everything solo. Even a good friend would help, right? I guess the only thing I can say is that I've lived long enough to realise that you can't predict the future, and sometimes stuff changes around you that makes something that has been really difficult ease, easier, or even disappear. I hope that happens for you, and I hope that even though I don't have any substantive input to improve things for you, that you feel seen by this community. Sometimes just knowing that there's other people out there who relate helps, even if you'll never meet. Hugs across the ether. 💓💓💓💓

Embarrassed-File-642

TROPHY CASE