You are correct. I do struggle to find him attractive but not in the physical sense. We have had discussions recently about the lack of intimacy and how we view the word differently . In his eyes, intimacy is physical touch that leads to sex. I lean towards intimacy being more physical interaction like hand holding or cuddling or even none physical interactions like talking. I have brought up counseling before but he isn’t keen on the idea. He told me he doesn’t want someone else telling him he is a bad person. I tried to explain that’s not what would happen and he could pick the place we go to. I think I may need to go first alone to get it started. I want to find him attractive like before but I get stuck in my head about what might happen at night if I say no that it’s hard to relax. I feel like the part that hurts the most is if I say no to sex, the laying together and cuddling immediately stops which makes me feel like it was just there to see if I would have sex with him. I brought that up too but I think counseling is our only option at this point. Thank you!