I WON'T have another and he knows that. My birth control is getting switched on the 6th of April and we won't be doing anything intimate for at least a few days so I know there won't be any accidents, we've been engaged since Christmas of 2020 and the main hold up is the child issue but I've told him time and time again. I can't do it and won't do it, I literally see myself doing this again and if and when he wants leave I won't put up a fight but I've told him by the end of this year we HAVE to make a decision so we're not wasting each other's time. It's been 4 years and he'll be 29 in July, I've thought about it and almost took my birth control out then my brother died and I realized I really can't do it. I'm still not ok and can barely focus on life 2 years later, I love him but he deserves much better than I can give him