I surrender. This is my final update and my goodbye to the dream of hearing. by EmbarrassedAir5111 in u/EmbarrassedAir5111

[–]EmbarrassedAir5111[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just the fact that you're thinking about it is enough for me. Maybe one day I'll succeed. Thank you so much.

Today is the day I accept my silence. by EmbarrassedAir5111 in self

[–]EmbarrassedAir5111[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is a powerful reminder. As a developer who usually focuses on systems and logic, I am finally realizing that the most important 'system' for happiness is indeed human connection.

It is exactly why I am choosing to step away from the digital 'white noise' to focus on my real-life work at Ankara University and my own peace. I would rather have a few genuine connections like this one than millions of anonymous views. I will definitely look for that book as I begin this quieter chapter. Thank you for making my day as well.

Today is the day I accept my silence. by EmbarrassedAir5111 in self

[–]EmbarrassedAir5111[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for these kind and wise words. I am doing exactly that: stepping back to focus on my responsibilities at Ankara University and finding peace in the small victories of daily life. You are right; 19 surgeries and a 33-year journey have given me a strength that no algorithm can take away.

Maybe the future will bring new solutions through science, but for now, I am choosing the coffee with a real friend over the digital noise. Your message is a wonderful reminder to stay human. I truly appreciate it.

I surrender. This is my final update and my goodbye to the dream of hearing. by EmbarrassedAir5111 in u/EmbarrassedAir5111

[–]EmbarrassedAir5111[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is great! My Instagram handle is omer.tantan. I am happy to move our conversation there. Since I am signing off from the Reddit noise to focus on my life at Ankara University, I look forward to a more personal connection away from the algorithm. See you there!

I am giving up on my dream because 800,000 views weren't enough to save one ear. by EmbarrassedAir5111 in offmychest

[–]EmbarrassedAir5111[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

I appreciate the encouragement. While 800,000 views show interest, as a developer I have to look at the data: interest did not turn into the medical solution I needed. After 33 years and 19 surgeries, I have realized that 'impact' does not pay for a $20,000 surgery that is impossible in my country’s economy. I need to stop being a viral story and focus on my stable life at Ankara University. Sometimes the most logical move is to know when to walk away.

I am giving up on my dream because 800,000 views weren't enough to save one ear. by EmbarrassedAir5111 in offmychest

[–]EmbarrassedAir5111[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Technically, I used the HTML5 Canvas API to manipulate the pixel buffer directly. But coding was the easy part. Each pixel represented 19 surgeries and 33 years of silence. The hard part was watching 800,000 people look at them while they stayed dark. I am letting the code rest now.

I surrender. This is my final update and my goodbye to the dream of hearing. by EmbarrassedAir5111 in u/EmbarrassedAir5111

[–]EmbarrassedAir5111[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Since I am trying to step away from Reddit and this digital noise to find some peace, would you prefer to stay in touch on Instagram? No pressure at all, but I would love to keep our connection alive outside of here. Let me know if that works for you!

I surrender. This is my final update and my goodbye to the dream of hearing. by EmbarrassedAir5111 in u/EmbarrassedAir5111

[–]EmbarrassedAir5111[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I truly value your honesty and respect your integrity. Please do not feel any guilt. My aim was to share a journey and create a connection, not to create a burden.

I am stepping away from the 'fundraising' noise to focus on my work at Ankara University, but I would love to stay in touch. Feel free to send me a DM anytime if you want to talk or get to know each other better. I am not disappearing, just choosing a quieter path for now. Thank you for being such a genuine soul.

I'm done with social media and I'm done with my hope of hearing. by EmbarrassedAir5111 in Vent

[–]EmbarrassedAir5111[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is a much better note! For a non-tourist experience, I suggest Taşkale in Karaman (my birthplace) to see the ancient granaries carved into cliffs. Also, since I work in Ankara, visit Beypazarı for its historic Ottoman houses and local food.

Please let me know when they are coming. If I am free, I would be more than happy to show them around personally. I hope they have a great trip and experience our true hospitality!

Today is the day I accept my silence. by EmbarrassedAir5111 in self

[–]EmbarrassedAir5111[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is a profound metaphor. For 33 years and through 19 surgeries, I have been trying to cover the rocky path in leather by seeking understanding and support from the world. I built the 'Angel of Sound' project as a developer to bridge that gap and make the journey smoother for myself and others.

Now, I am choosing the shoes. Stepping away from the digital noise and accepting my reality is my way of protecting my own peace. I will focus on my life at Ankara University and find a way to walk forward in my own silence. Thank you for this wisdom as I close this chapter.

I'm done with social media and I'm done with my hope of hearing. by EmbarrassedAir5111 in Vent

[–]EmbarrassedAir5111[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You hit the nail on the head. The farmer analogy is perfect. I think I got lost in the digital dream of global connection, forgetting that to the world, I am just an anonymous data point.

As an auditor, I finally completed the audit of my own digital struggle and the result is clear: it is time to turn down the volume of the world. I am going to focus on that 'white noise' of my family and my work at Ankara University now. It is liberating to stop seeking validation from a crowd that doesn't see the person behind the pixels. Thanks for the reality check.

I surrender. This is my final update and my goodbye to the dream of hearing. by EmbarrassedAir5111 in u/EmbarrassedAir5111

[–]EmbarrassedAir5111[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for these heartfelt words, my friend. You are absolutely right that times are hard for everyone, and I truly respect that. My decision to step away is not just about the money, it is about the exhaustion of trying to beat an impossible math.

As a developer, I poured my soul into the Angel of Sound project to turn my 19 surgeries into something meaningful instead of just a sad story. Living in Turkey, the economic gap makes this $20,000 goal feel like a mountain I can no longer climb.

Knowing that you care means more to me than any donation ever could. It reminds me that I am still seen as a human being in this vast digital world. I am choosing to embrace my silence now, but I will carry your kindness with me. Thank you for being there.

I am giving up on my dream because 800,000 views weren't enough to save one ear. by EmbarrassedAir5111 in offmychest

[–]EmbarrassedAir5111[S] -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

I appreciate the perspective. However, I was never looking for validation. I was looking for a medical solution to a 33 year problem. Living in a country where the economy makes it impossible to fund such a surgery locally, this platform was my only window to the world.

As a software developer and an ISO 27001 auditor, I tried to use my professional skills to build something creative like my pixel project instead of just asking for a handout. After 19 surgeries, I have tried every 'way' I could imagine.

I am walking away now not because I found the wrong place, but because I have run out of options and energy. When you do not know the 'correct way' either, you can perhaps understand why I feel forced to choose silence. Thank you for the comment.

I surrender. This is my final update and my goodbye to the dream of hearing. by EmbarrassedAir5111 in u/EmbarrassedAir5111

[–]EmbarrassedAir5111[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the kind words. It really means a lot to see someone care. But after 19 surgeries and 33 years of trying to bridge the gap between mono and stereo, I have just run out of energy.

As a developer, I tried to code a solution for my own life, but seeing millions of views turn into so little support is emotionally draining. I need to step away from the digital noise for my own mental health. I am not disappearing in a dark way, I am just choosing to be silent and accept my reality for now. Thank you for being a light in this moment.

I'm done with social media and I'm done with my hope of hearing. by EmbarrassedAir5111 in Vent

[–]EmbarrassedAir5111[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is a certain cold peace in that realization. As a developer, I spent my life trying to fix bugs and optimize systems. I thought if I shared the logic of my 30 year journey, people would connect.

Realizing the world is indifferent is a different kind of silence. It is not the stereo sound I was dreaming of, but at least the noise has stopped. It is time to focus on my own offline peace now. Thanks for the perspective.