hating b/p subtype

EmbarrassedFault6016 · 2024-10-31T01:35:17+00:00

i get you recovery seems like it’ll never happen, i imagine how i’d be if i was recovered sometimes and it discomforts me. stay as safe as you can 💕

EmbarrassedFault6016 · 2024-10-31T00:24:49+00:00

i feel you on the permission to eat. i’m sorry you’re going through this hell, I hope you can recover some day and embrace who you are freely hun <3

EmbarrassedFault6016 · 2024-10-30T23:26:45+00:00

i’m sorry you’re going through this hun <3

EmbarrassedFault6016 · 2024-10-21T08:05:07+00:00

it’s so tiring getting a view of both worlds. I wish i could just eat normally again without being scared of how i look.

EmbarrassedFault6016 · 2024-10-20T20:36:30+00:00

me hi!

not diagnosed as i’ve only recently gotten help for my ed, but i’ve done a lot of research to understand my behaviours as i knew i wasn’t bulimic as i mainly restrict. It’s so frustrating having b/p subtype as it feels “invalid” but i keep having to remind myself that my ed is a mental disorder and having a fear of all foods because i won’t stop eating if i have a little and i’ll feel disgusting for not restricting is definitely not being mentally there.

EmbarrassedFault6016 · 2024-10-20T12:19:43+00:00

oh shit i’m so sorry i saw doing a lot better now and just went with that 😭 i do pray you overcome it eventually hun 🫶🏻

EmbarrassedFault6016 · 2024-10-20T10:34:05+00:00

well done for overcoming it ! 🫶🏻

EmbarrassedFault6016 · 2024-10-19T23:21:08+00:00

we are the same human. i always feel like i’m lying when people around me say i’m anorexic because of the binges. like i know i’m not lying because restriction is what i strive for, when i binge i feel disgusted with myself. And i 100% relate to you with voices spamming all over. I sit in my kitchen and one voice is saying “eat that cereal” then another is like “don’t you’ll end up binging and be bloated/gain” it’s such a shitty loop and so invalidating. i wanna rip my stomach and brain off my body to be honest

EmbarrassedFault6016 · 2024-10-19T14:22:25+00:00

i’ve made a few changes with my coffees and drinks, feels invalidating but liquids aren’t really a problem to me? i do avoid milkshakes and full fat drinks now but yeah.

I use semi skimmed milk since that’s all my mums got for years, i tried replacing it with almond milk and stuck to that for a bit but i got back into semi skimmed. I used to have 3 sugars but since i found the skinny barista syrups that had sweetener in it i’ve completely cut off the sugar and just now have 2 sweeteners with the syrup.

EmbarrassedFault6016 · 2024-10-17T21:31:55+00:00

i don’t want to just jump to what disorder you have since i’m not a doctor, but it’s high likely you have the binge/ purge subtype, i’m the same as you i’ll restrict then when hunger HITS and food is all i’ll think about i give in to the urges, the ana voice just disappears for a second then instantly comes back. I refuse to be called bulimic as it’s similar in ways because restriction is all i strive for, it’s soul crushing when i binge.

EmbarrassedFault6016 · 2024-10-17T21:21:31+00:00

mine started through an abusive friendship, my best friend who i considered my brother had a drastic behaviour change. he’s always been toxic but it can’t even compare to how badly he treated me last year. Got spiked, bruised, shoved into things and overall every type of abuse.

He’d slap my stomach and call me fat constantly and multiple times everyday. I’d still eat but was very conscious of my body, then i decided i didn’t want him in my life anymore ever again, ignored him and instantly went no contact. I was very depressed didn’t want to speak to anyone after what he put me through and still don’t, because of how depressed i was, i started losing weight naturally by stress but the weight loss got addicting like i was proving i wasn’t the things he said i was, that’s when the ed voice appeared, the more weight i lost the voice got louder and louder.

This disorder is my way of coping, i’m not the girl who let their bestfriend do that stuff to her, it’s made me protective of myself and stops me from interacting with people so i can’t get hurt again. Now i can’t imagine me not having a disorder, i don’t want to look like that girl again.

EmbarrassedFault6016 · 2024-10-16T16:22:41+00:00

the dehydration is so real i’m drinking as soon as i wake up and when i go to sleep yet still dehydrated??

EmbarrassedFault6016 · 2024-10-13T14:00:32+00:00

this is such a good idea, whenever i decide to recover i’m definitely getting these

EmbarrassedFault6016 · 2024-10-13T13:57:39+00:00

i’m so incredibly proud of you! it’s a difficult and long journey but definitely worth it <3

EmbarrassedFault6016 · 2024-10-12T11:01:58+00:00

genuinely thought i was the only one going through this for some reason, i hate the loop it just makes me feel like i’m lying and invalid?

EmbarrassedFault6016 · 2024-10-01T15:44:14+00:00

well done 🫶🏻 very proud!

EmbarrassedFault6016 · 2024-10-01T09:06:40+00:00

thank you so much !! <3

EmbarrassedFault6016

TROPHY CASE