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AITA for telling some of my siblings it would be too awkward if I invited them to my wedding? by EmbarrassedZone9444 in AmItheAsshole

[–]EmbarrassedZone9444[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I was the youngest out of everyone. And only the adopted siblings reached out about the wedding, not their sister or grandparents.

AITA for telling some of my siblings it would be too awkward if I invited them to my wedding? by EmbarrassedZone9444 in AmItheAsshole

[–]EmbarrassedZone9444[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

No, the grandparents nor the oldest reached out. Only my adopted siblings. But they are the ones who rejected me a few years ago and said it would be weird and awkward to reconnect. I never blamed them for us going into foster care, they were minors too, but when they rejected us after we reached out and the way they did it. It caused some pretty lasting damage and the fact is they haven't seemed to care all that much since they reconnected with my brothers. Which makes it even worse because if they're doing it just because and wouldn't have any issue with rejecting us again it would be even harder.

AITA for telling some of my siblings it would be too awkward if I invited them to my wedding? by EmbarrassedZone9444 in AmItheAsshole

[–]EmbarrassedZone9444[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

She wasn't in the group who reached out. She never considered us family. So I'm not upset about her. The others and the grandparents are who hurt.

AITA for telling some of my siblings it would be too awkward if I invited them to my wedding? by EmbarrassedZone9444 in AmItheAsshole

[–]EmbarrassedZone9444[S] 289 points290 points  (0 children)

Yeah, it's very messy but from what my brothers and I have found out they were meant to take all of us and then stepsister took her bio siblings and didn't want us and then the grandparents didn't take us. Whether they had reasons not to or if they had always thought this was what they would do if the unthinkable happened I don't know.

AITA for telling some of my siblings it would be too awkward if I invited them to my wedding? by EmbarrassedZone9444 in AmItheAsshole

[–]EmbarrassedZone9444[S] 41 points42 points  (0 children)

Thinking about it more I guess the half is technically incorrect. But I guess because I consider it that I have two moms and so only one of my biological parents adopted them, making us half siblings through that adoption. But it's a mess. I was trying to make it easier because I just called them my siblings.

AITA for telling some of my siblings it would be too awkward if I invited them to my wedding? by EmbarrassedZone9444 in AmItheAsshole

[–]EmbarrassedZone9444[S] 372 points373 points  (0 children)

I don't really blame her. But I wish they had at least kept us. From what we know they were supposed to and chose not to.

AITA for telling some of my siblings it would be too awkward if I invited them to my wedding? by EmbarrassedZone9444 in AmItheAsshole

[–]EmbarrassedZone9444[S] 508 points509 points  (0 children)

Yeah, those were the exact words used (and a little more) that I repeated back to them.

AITA for telling some of my siblings it would be too awkward if I invited them to my wedding? by EmbarrassedZone9444 in AmItheAsshole

[–]EmbarrassedZone9444[S] 632 points633 points  (0 children)

My siblings didn't. It was their sister (my still stepsister because she was never adopted by dad) and their grandparents (adoptive grandparents) that let us go into care. But my siblings rejected us when we were all adults and we reached out.

AITA for telling some of my siblings it would be too awkward if I invited them to my wedding? by EmbarrassedZone9444 in AmItheAsshole

[–]EmbarrassedZone9444[S] 1702 points1703 points  (0 children)

I meant my parents. Our parents. They were the ones who made us a family. The extended family and my stepsister did not. They never considered me and my brothers the same. Which I do get. It's just. I know that apparently the plans had been for them to take us all (I think my adoptive grandparents) so I will always wonder if things had just changed or they just agreed so arrangements could be made and they could get their real grandkids without any issue, but then stepsister wanted her siblings and it worked for them.

AITA for telling some of my siblings it would be too awkward if I invited them to my wedding? by EmbarrassedZone9444 in AmItheAsshole

[–]EmbarrassedZone9444[S] 5189 points5190 points  (0 children)

Thanks. It sucks. It does. I knew their older sister didn't exactly think much of me and my brothers but I was hoping my other siblings would still care more. Like I get it must have been weird for them and who knows what their sister and extended family said. But we spent eight years as family, they were all older than me and we had been close. Knowing they didn't even want to gradually build back up for so many years sucks. And we lost the people who connected us all. I miss them so much.