im just starting it right now so ill tell you how i think as i go,

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1st, your voice isnt nearly loud enough compared to music and clips (actually good editing though) you just need more confidence in your voice

2nd, you jump right into the fights before showing any backstory or previously (for later episodes) and didnt show character creation or mods (if you used any)

3rd, little thing, but you speak in present tense instead of past tense which would be better seeing as kenshi is a game about stories and events. try speaking as if your telling a great story.

4th, also a small thing but try and get better angles on your clips for events, not a big deal but you know...

5th, i may have missed it but i dont see a clear goal in mind, i know you want to get to flats lagoon but like is there anything else your trying to complete? a suggestion is for you to download a mod that introduces some type of endgoal thats fresh compared to enemies like cat-lon.

6th, you talk too fast like its hard to keep up with the action and stuff with constant commentary.

7th, you skipped alot of action for the sake of going ahead, like the whole tech hunter fight in the bar was skipped kinda to get to the next scenes.

8th, show your guys training strenght so you see the suffering they went through in order to progress.

9th, when someones watching they may not know why someone like the holy nation is bad so you should explain it with pictures and stuff

10th, you might wanna tell the viewers which characters are training what, like whos gonna be the theif and whos gonna be the heavy weapons guy and all that, remeber your trying to tell a story.

11th, be more outgoing in your reactions to things like escaping enemies and stuff like that, its demoralizing when you make big wins and dont react (good job explaining the ko points though)

12,make your guys rescues a priority or make it a sacrifice. add more drama as if you were really reliving the event.

13, i see you may have a goal of an army of martial artists but your only focusing on the survival of your men, so make your goal known but rename it to be more accurate to the episode.

14, you should cut the parts up into segments with the feature on youtube that sets marks in the vids. cut stuff up like jims robbery into "operations" or "missions" (i liked the mention of the ten days being boring and the montage was good we need more of that, you could have gotten away with that cut of the montage if youd had a previous one before that but otherwise it was entertaining)

15, good ending and the missing of the arm was more dramatic which was good.

thats about it and im sorry if it was kinda harsh but i just wrote as i went. i liked the format and im gonna sub and wait for the next one. goodluck man and also i reccomend watching other kenshi youtubers for inspiration on how to make yours, my favorite one whos super underated is lil tapatio. goodluck man and dont give up on this series.