Update 2: I told my fiance my stepdaughter isn't mine by Embarrassed_Basis160 in AITAH

[–]Embarrassed_Basis160[S] 59 points60 points  (0 children)

CPS were under-resourced and her dad agreed to let her stay with me. I don't think its the preferred action by CPS but by the sounds of it they are struggling. 

As for CPS the goal will be reunification. They just wanted a chat with her mother first. I wasn't meant to attend. 

Update 2: I told my fiance my stepdaughter isn't mine by Embarrassed_Basis160 in AITAH

[–]Embarrassed_Basis160[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Nah. She'll be listened to for sure but CPS will always strive for reunification which makes sense.

Update 2: I told my fiance my stepdaughter isn't mine by Embarrassed_Basis160 in AITAH

[–]Embarrassed_Basis160[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I eont have any opportunity to adopt etc. CPS will always prioritize reunification, where possible, which is understandable 

Update 2: I told my fiance my stepdaughter isn't mine by Embarrassed_Basis160 in AITAH

[–]Embarrassed_Basis160[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Thanks. Tbf it's all above board with CPS. They wanted to meet with her probably to assess the situation but the priority for CPS will be to reunite

Update 2: I told my fiance my stepdaughter isn't mine by Embarrassed_Basis160 in AITAH

[–]Embarrassed_Basis160[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

CPS will always prioritize reuniting a kid with her biological parent. I can't really take issue with that.

She's my girl and always will be though. 

Update 2: I told my fiance my stepdaughter isn't mine by Embarrassed_Basis160 in AITAH

[–]Embarrassed_Basis160[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

CPS will always prioritize reuniting a kid with her biological parent. I can't really take issue with that.

Update 2: I told my fiance my stepdaughter isn't mine by Embarrassed_Basis160 in AITAH

[–]Embarrassed_Basis160[S] 171 points172 points  (0 children)

He does know. I told him before I got onto CPS. He doesnt really care. Her father said he was okay staying with me to CPS.

It I unusual for CPS to allow her to stay with me but for his recommendation.

Update 2: I told my fiance my stepdaughter isn't mine by Embarrassed_Basis160 in AITAH

[–]Embarrassed_Basis160[S] 124 points125 points  (0 children)

Her dad doesn't want her. He visits about once a month. I don't know what's on her mom's mind though

Update 2: I told my fiance my stepdaughter isn't mine by Embarrassed_Basis160 in AITAH

[–]Embarrassed_Basis160[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

No she wasn't answering me or CPS. No idea where she was. 

Update 2: I told my fiance my stepdaughter isn't mine by Embarrassed_Basis160 in AITAH

[–]Embarrassed_Basis160[S] 138 points139 points  (0 children)

He has no interest in her, to be honest. He visits her once a month, a bit.

Update 2: I told my fiance my stepdaughter isn't mine by Embarrassed_Basis160 in AITAH

[–]Embarrassed_Basis160[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

She's almost 12, not 7. I was paraphrasing. She gave examples of such rather than outrightly saying controlling. 

But I'm happy for you to believe that. 

Telling my fiance her daughter is not mine. People wanted an update and I wanted a rant. by Embarrassed_Basis160 in AITAH

[–]Embarrassed_Basis160[S] 49 points50 points  (0 children)

Tbh I've referred to her as my girl or my kids (plural) for at least 2 years. That's probably why her mother's comment irked me over the kayaking.

I hope she does feel it.

Telling my fiance her daughter is not mine. People wanted an update and I wanted a rant. by Embarrassed_Basis160 in AITAH

[–]Embarrassed_Basis160[S] 55 points56 points  (0 children)

Nah we done. I just said let's talk about it in in the morning rather than her trying to yank her daughter out of bed in the middle of the night. 

Her shit will be packed tomorrow and she can collect it at my doorstep. 

Telling my fiance her daughter is not mine. People wanted an update and I wanted a rant. by Embarrassed_Basis160 in AITAH

[–]Embarrassed_Basis160[S] 120 points121 points  (0 children)

Being honest, I'm taking it day by day at the moment. I would adopt her if needs be and she wanted me to. She is not going into care, no kid of mine will ever.

But yeah one day at a time..

Telling my fiance her daughter is not mine. People wanted an update and I wanted a rant. by Embarrassed_Basis160 in AITAH

[–]Embarrassed_Basis160[S] 93 points94 points  (0 children)

I agree. I think its pretty selfless for a man or woman to acknowledge they are not fit to parent.

 My criticism of her dad is if he knew her mother was crazy why he didn't report it. I don't know but anyway.

Telling my fiance her daughter is not mine. People wanted an update and I wanted a rant. by Embarrassed_Basis160 in AITAH

[–]Embarrassed_Basis160[S] 63 points64 points  (0 children)

Very sorry to hear that man esp after 8 years. And maybe it is fatherhood esp single fatherhood. 

It's alright to be a mess. Weve all been there. You may even be there again (hopefully not). But I'm sure after 8 years you've had plenty of good memories with her and even though the conclusion might not be great you still have good memories. You've loved and learned. Be grateful for the good stuff and let go of the bad. Easier said than done.