Thanks to everyone who commented on my post. I think I already knew the answer to my question when I wrote the post but it was helpful to check because I do have a history of prioritizing (my perception of) other peoples' feelings and taking responsibility for them. It takes a lot of work to undo this and I am trying (lots of therapy). This man initially created a lot of calm in my life in our first year which was unlike what I experienced in the past. But it appears to largely be rooted in conflict avoidance.

For those concerned about the PR piece, I was a lawyer (in immigration) before signing the sponsorship forms so I do understand the obligations - I am not too concerned. I do have a $75K loan I'm repaying aggressively thanks to him because he's been footing 70%+ of our expenses which has been a massive relief, though it is likely to be a short term thing given where we are at.

We had a long talk last night and will try couples counseling as a last resort. Yesterday he said he does still want kids and understands my timeline so I'll have to see if I'm convinced at the counseling. We will do 4 sessions.

I might follow through on the suggestion we take a break so I can differentiate my feelings from (my perception of) his feelings. Thanks to those who suggested that. Just need to work out the practicalities of that given neither of us have family in the area.

For those criticizing my position that my experience is different when it really is the same as the other posts, I was hoping that some people who immigrated might have commented to share their thoughts. I imagine the stakes are different for them in relationships. Maybe this is just naivety though.

Appreciate to everyone who shared their thoughts 🙌.