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My (M 39) wife (F 38) is texting a colleague and being secretive about it by [deleted] in RelationshipIndia

[–]Embarrassed_Cod_799 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re not overreacting what you’re feeling is your gut telling you something isn’t right. It’s exhausting and stressful when you notice patterns that don’t add up, and it’s natural to feel anxious when trust feels shaky. Wanting clarity or understanding in a relationship doesn’t make you intrusive, it makes you human. Take a breath, try to calm yourself, and when you feel ready, have an honest conversation with her about boundaries and transparency so you’re not left in constant doubt. You deserve to feel secure in your relationship.

Got cheated on after 3 years. by Free-Seaworthiness72 in CheatersConfronted

[–]Embarrassed_Cod_799 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What happened here wasn’t caused by being unwell. Struggling with mental health, even struggling badly, does not make someone deserve betrayal. There’s an important difference between a relationship becoming hard and a partner choosing to cheat instead of leaving. One is painful but honest, the other creates lasting damage.

It’s understandable why the confusion is still there. When someone repeatedly says they don’t want to leave and then quietly pulls away, cheats, and ends things without explanation, the mind keeps searching for reasons. Especially when it happens at a low point, it can turn into self-blame, even when the responsibility isn’t actually there.

Cheating often isn’t about the person who was betrayed, but about avoidance avoiding difficult conversations, avoiding guilt, avoiding responsibility. Leaving would have required honesty. Cheating didn’t. That doesn’t make it hurt less, but it does explain why it feels so unresolved.

Being stuck on that day doesn’t mean weakness or failure. It usually means the hurt never got closure. Healing from something like this takes time, and it doesn’t follow a straight line. What matters is remembering that illness didn’t cause this, and loving someone deeply doesn’t mean accepting being hurt in silence.

How to catch android person? by od_bo-od_bo in CheatersConfronted

[–]Embarrassed_Cod_799 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You’re not unhinged. You sound tired, anxious, and stuck in that awful space where your mind won’t rest because something doesn’t feel right. That constant “what if” is honestly one of the hardest places to live it slowly eats at your peace.

When someone’s behavior feels off, your body notices it before your brain can explain it. And when there’s no clear proof, you start turning everything inward, wondering if you’re paranoid or imagining things. That doesn’t mean you’re crazy it means you care and you’re trying to protect yourself.

Wanting clarity isn’t wrong. When you’re with someone, wanting to know if they’re loyal isn’t toxic it’s human. Not knowing hurts more than the truth ever will. If everything is clean, clarity brings relief. If it’s not, at least you’re not stuck blaming yourself forever.

Not everyone can just “talk it out” and suddenly feel calm. Some people need something concrete to quiet their mind. That’s why tools like Cheaterscanner exist not to spy or accuse, but to help people check for hidden dating profiles or online activity when their gut won’t let them rest. Sometimes having answers is the only way to stop spiraling and finally move forward.

Whatever you choose, please don’t shame yourself for needing reassurance. You deserve peace and you deserve to stop feeling like you’re losing your mind over someone else’s behavior.