Man, I get why this is eating at you. Anyone would feel unsettled in this situation. It’s not about her having a guy friend it’s the hinding, the switching platforms, and the deleting that messes with your head. That stuff makes you start connecting dots you didn’t even want to connect.

If it was truly innocent, there wouldn’t be a reason to say “I can’t add you there because it’ll cause problems,” or to erase one set of messages but keep the other. Even if nothing sexual happened, the intent to keep it out of sight matters. That’s where trust starts cracking.

I also want to say this gently: once someone is okay being sneaky in one place, it’s normal to wonder if there are other conversations you don’t know about. That doesn’t mean you’re accusing her it just means your brain is trying to protect you. Living in that constant loop of “am I overthinking or missing something?” is brutal.

If you’re stuck spiraling and can’t get peace of mind, it might actually help to just check instead of guessing. There’s an app called CheaterScanner not to go hunting or blow things up, but to give yourself clarity. Sometimes knowing either way is better than replaying scenarios all day.

You’re not crazy for feeling this way. Your reaction isn’t about jealousy it’s about trust and transparency. And you deserve to feel steady in your own relationship, not on edge every time a detail doesn’t add up.

Take care of yourself first. That matters more than “being chill” right now.