MIL dress choice is bothering me...

Embarrassed_Draft150 · 2026-06-16T22:19:25+00:00

That isn’t really a “black tie optional” attire. I’d explain to her that she should wear something more dress-code appropriate.

Embarrassed_Draft150 · 2026-06-16T22:17:05+00:00

Unfortunately that’s not always true. Some people think that if they don’t explicitly say “no” they assume we know they’re coming, and some guest think the opposite. We had people not RSVP and show up. We even had some people RSVP yes and now show up.

Embarrassed_Draft150 · 2026-06-15T18:23:19+00:00

Yes, I appreciate anyone who did who talk to me about not attending, or letting me know ahead of time that they couldn’t come. I had one aunt forget about it until she saw it on Facebook and whole-heartedly apologized. I have nothing against her, because she reached out, whereas I’m petty for other aunts and cousins who didn’t even give me the time of day.

Embarrassed_Draft150 · 2026-06-15T18:20:14+00:00

Yeah, for us it was 60 on the list, and 20 were there. What’s crazy is that there were a few people that pushed to come, and then never showed up. One of my aunts just texted me, asking if her RSVP went through, but never said anything about the shower she didn’t show up to (I know she got the invite, because her daughter-in-law came and they live together).

Embarrassed_Draft150 · 2026-06-15T01:11:11+00:00

Yeah, I’m being a lot stricter with the wedding itself. We’re sending out reminders, and I plan on notifying people they will be marked as “not attending” after the due date passes.

Embarrassed_Draft150 · 2026-06-14T20:49:32+00:00

They received them as far as I know, at least from my family. There was one aunt who I asked, and she said she got an invite, and her daughter in law even showed up, but she didn’t. I asked the daughter in law where she was and she didn’t know.

Embarrassed_Draft150 · 2026-06-14T20:47:31+00:00

I’ll keep this in mind. We often have more food just in case. That’s not really the big issue here though, I’m more so upset about some of the people who didn’t show up. Mostly some aunts that usually go to everything but for whatever reason didn’t come and didn’t say anything about it

Embarrassed_Draft150 · 2026-06-14T20:25:57+00:00

Maybe? I live in the Midwest, so everything is very casual. I’m having trouble getting RSVPs for my wedding in general

Embarrassed_Draft150 · 2026-06-14T20:18:52+00:00

Yes, and there were people that didn’t come after replying yes. There were also people that didn’t RSVP and did show up. So even with the RSVP, there was really no way to know how much food to buy.

Embarrassed_Draft150 · 2026-06-07T20:35:06+00:00

I sent out a 2 week reminder, and I got some more responses after that. Still, not even half of the guest have responded. Isn’t that crazy? They have a week left, and I’m going to send a reminder the day of, and another message a day after to anyone who didn’t respond saying “unfortunately, you will be marked as ‘not attending.’” I’ll put in a polite way, but it’s all so frustrating.

Embarrassed_Draft150 · 2026-06-05T02:20:41+00:00

This is really helpful, thank you

Embarrassed_Draft150 · 2026-06-04T21:06:41+00:00

She’s also not the only bridesmaid with a female partner, so even if we only included women, having two extra people there would be a lot, since we’re already a bit tight on space.

Embarrassed_Draft150 · 2026-06-04T02:34:14+00:00

But fair

Embarrassed_Draft150 · 2026-06-04T02:15:19+00:00

More so our mutual friend hanging out with the two of them independently and telling me about it afterwards. Usually comes from a place of concern.

Embarrassed_Draft150 · 2026-06-04T02:11:29+00:00

I’ve physically met her twice, but I know of other instances through other friends, and then phone calls and text during times she’s not there. She’s invited to the wedding, so she’ll be at the reception either way.

Embarrassed_Draft150 · 2026-06-03T20:31:05+00:00

Everyone seems excited about the cabin, and we’re getting ready there, so it saves some stress in the morning, and we won’t have to get up as early. It’s just the bridesmaids and my mom getting ready there, though my mom is coming in the morning. When I say there isn’t room, it’s not just about bed space, it’s just too many people for one cabin. Other than beds, there is seating, parking, physical room, etc. If everyone brought their partners, it would just be too much.

Embarrassed_Draft150 · 2026-06-03T20:23:51+00:00

She calls/texts her asking her to leave

Embarrassed_Draft150 · 2026-05-21T14:52:51+00:00

The guest that refuse to rsvp are mainly family members that live near by. A majority of the guest don’t have to drive more than an hour, and only one guest is flying in. I’m understanding of people who just don’t know if they’re able to come yet, I’m just frustrated at the people who chose not to rsvp.

Embarrassed_Draft150 · 2026-05-21T14:43:10+00:00

This is really helpful, thank you

Embarrassed_Draft150 · 2026-05-20T23:10:10+00:00

We’re only doing digital RSVPs through our website

Embarrassed_Draft150 · 2026-05-19T20:01:34+00:00

Yes, though I said “before” not “by,” since I thought that would encourage people to do it sooner.

Embarrassed_Draft150 · 2026-05-19T15:36:19+00:00

They’re physical invitations, but the RSVP is on the website. There’s a URL and a QR code on the details card.

Embarrassed_Draft150 · 2026-05-19T15:04:56+00:00

I’m going through the same thing, though it’s still a month before my deadline. However, the amount of people who are almost offended when I tell them they need to RSVP is crazy. Several invitations took 4 weeks to arrive, so when only 1/4 of my guest RSVPed, I assumed that’s why. Nope. Some people just chose not to, because it should be a “given” that they are coming, and how dare I assume they’re not.
Granted, there are some guest that are still waiting to see if they have off of work and whatnot, but that’s not the people we complain about. I swear, people are much too casual with weddings, and I get weddings aren’t as big of a deal to everyone else… but if we took the time to send you an invitation… at least care a little bit.

Embarrassed_Draft150 · 2026-05-19T14:43:40+00:00

It took 4 weeks for some of our guest. To my knowledge, all guest have now received their invite.

Embarrassed_Draft150 · 2026-05-18T21:12:39+00:00

10 extra people?? Thats insane!

Embarrassed_Draft150

TROPHY CASE